I spent half the night crying because going back to work is very difficult. Everything reminds me of last year. And the one-year anniversary is approaching. It took everything I’ve got (and I haven’t got a lot) to bring myself to work today without looking completely swollen and without breaking down every 5 minutes.
But then the general faculty meeting just had to be graced with some kid singing an interminable “This was the best year of my life” song.
God has it in for me with a vengeance.
Poor Clarissa.. know this: God probably loves you….perhaps it’s Clarissa that is withdrawing the love towards Clarissa! LOL
All is well !
love from Observer Jules
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Yeah, I probably invited this singer and ordered him to sing this particular song in a fit of insanity and then repressed all memory of that. I have no idea why I keep doing this. 🙂
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If you hate what you’re doing so much, why not do something else?
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I can’t start avoiding, you know. I considered it and it’s a road to nowhere. If I go down this road, I will end up never getting out of bed ever again.
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Don’t know what to say, except wish you recovery. I believe it’ll get better, you’ll begin the school year and teaching will also help to cope, not concentrate only on this.
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Anniversaries of loss are tough. Be kind to yourself. Set aside some time to formally acknowledge your loss; even if it’s just two hours. Include people who’ll acknowledge it with you if you want. I’m not religious, but my ancestors’ puja is useful for precisely this purpose.
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My eldest daughter (by 11 minutes, she’s a twin)after three university degrees is starting her first job this fall at the University of Michigan in East Lancing – any words of wisdom? By the way, it’s a tenure track position.
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Congratulations to her!!!!!!
Now my suggestions:
– Find out your tenure requirements now and read the operating papers of the department and the college in minute detail.
– Remember that nobody ever gets awarded tenure for service or teaching.
– Publish at least one article, better yet 2, in the first year.
– And remember – the first year us the hardest. It’s all uphill from that.
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So far as I know, there is no University of Michigan campus in East Lansing.
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If God isn’t dead, I’ll make sure to kill the bastard for you.
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I am so sorry you have to go through that. I really hope it will get better as you start teaching.
At least, when you go to work, you are surrounded by bright academics and students who are eager too learn. Looking at their decent, hopeful faces will uplift you. Just imagine working with sneaky and jaded ones stuck in a rat-race.
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I knew that back to school would be extremely difficult for you this year, but I also know that your are strong enough to go through these difficult weeks, I am with you, my friend.
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Unlike those idiots, God is with you, dear!
He, and your loved ones, love you!
🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
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It sucks that it hurts so much. I cannot even imagine what it is like.
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A conservative literary critic and college professor
Clarissa's Blog 
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