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The Cultural Sophistication of the Russian President

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Clarissa

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The President of Russia Vladimir Putin visited a high school to celebrate the Day of Learning. The teacher eagerly reported on the great new interactive board that had been installed in the classroom as per the President’s orders. Putin decided to try out the board and drew the following picture on it:

Putin cat

There was a charged silence as the kids tried to guess what the President was trying to communicate to them. 

Finally one kid plucked up the courage to ask, “What is this, Mr. President?”

“It’s a cat seen from behind,” Putin said and abruptly walked out of the classroom.

Since this took place, political analysts and psychotherapists have been trying to decipher the message that the President of the Russian Federation was hoping to transmit to children.

This true story is from last year but I still wanted to share it.

22 responses to “The Cultural Sophistication of the Russian President”

  1. ladyleahjane Avatar
    ladyleahjane

    I thought it was a very sloppy phallus.

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    1. Clarissa Avatar
      Clarissa

      That’s precisely how kids draw male reproductive organs on the walls of public toilets. I think Mr President was trying to be funny.

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      1. cliff arroyo Avatar
        cliff arroyo

        I thought it looked more like a nightmare rendering of a vulva (or perhaps that of an alien species).

        In other news we have this quote supposedly from Frau Merkel on Putin

        “Russia has nothing, no successful politics or economy. All they have is this.”

        “this” being agressive contempt for anyone whose country is not a cesspit of corruption and backwardness

        from vox.com, a site I loathe and mostly avoid because I don’t like its patronizing talking-to-pre-schoolers tone or the lack of comments (no good site on anything disallows comments – comment sections (for all the headaches involved) are the singular achievement of the internet.

        I despise those trying to end them in the name of protecting the fragile sensibilities of those unable to deal with ideas that differ from their own.

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      2. djiril Avatar
        djiril

        Funny, I think I’ve been spoiled by the artistic talents of local graffiti artists and did not recognize it right away. Most drawings of penises that I’ve seen on bathroom walls have been way better than that.

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      3. Tim Avatar
        Tim

        @Cliff,

        Queen Merkel and President Putin apparently had some kind of falling out after Dear Mr President spouted his anti-gay opinions too loud for her to ignore.

        I don’t know if she said that and I would’nt think so. But what she did basically say is that Russia is a whiny little sissy that is envious that all the other eastern and/or post-Soviet states are doing so much better than Russia.

        The EU and Bulgaria also blocked Russia’s South Stream Pipeline project yesterday, according to Spiegel Online. Which lead Putin to be very angry in front of a camera.

        Oh and the fucking french finally recognized that selling modern aircraft carriers to Russia is maybe not the best idea if you don’t want to become the greatest fuckstick and turned around.

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  2. Shakti Avatar
    Shakti

    Yeah, that doesn’t scream “cat walking away.”

    Do Russians even have stereotypes about cats?

    Maybe he secretly fancies himself to be Blofeld? Or he made it on time and therefore he found a way to signal he was leaving early?

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  3. Shakti Avatar
    Shakti

    And in Ricardian news, they’ve finished genetic testing on the skeleton found in a car park in Leicester.

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  4. musteryou Avatar
    musteryou

    He’s a good artist and he should go far. Are there seats on the ship to Jupiter?

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  5. Stille (@aperfectbalance) Avatar
    Stille (@aperfectbalance)

    Looks like a vulva with a very large clitoris to me. The analysts and psychotherapists are probably having a field trip with this.

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  6. Tim Avatar
    Tim

    Imagine if it were a cat from behind. What would the message be?
    “Cats are dicks and like to hold their anus in front of peoples faces. Guess what, I am a dick too!”

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    1. Clarissa Avatar
      Clarissa

      This is a very valuable reading of Putin ‘ s artwork.

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  7. Spiderbaby Avatar
    Spiderbaby

    Wow, that cat has a really huge butthole and no legs. Must be a very hard life for him.
    Anyway, at first I tought it was a cross between a penis and a vulva and I got scared.

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    1. Clarissa Avatar
      Clarissa

      And now imagine the reaction of the poor school kids. And also the situation of the very young teacher who had to say something to the class after the president left the classroom. I have considerable pedagogical skills but I have no idea how I could have handled that situation.

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    2. aglaonika Avatar
      aglaonika

      That’s not a butthole :-). The cat has 2 curved, deformed (O-shaped) legs. My grandfather’s legs had the same shape after he came back from the Gulag. So the meaning of Vladimir’s cute and funny drawing: It’s a cat that became handicapped in the Gulag, and now wants to attack someone (just look at how angrily he holds his head). Comrade Putin just wanted to show those kids what their future would be like.

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      1. Clarissa Avatar
        Clarissa

        “My grandfather’s legs had the same shape after he came back from the Gulag. So the meaning of Vladimir’s cute and funny drawing: It’s a cat that became handicapped in the Gulag, and now wants to attack someone (just look at how angrily he holds his head). Comrade Putin just wanted to show those kids what their future would be like.”

        :-))))))))))))))))))))))))))

        We should have a contest as to who provides the best reading of this artwork.

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  8. el Avatar
    el

    After my PM drew a bomb, I can’t judge Putin. 🙂

    \\ And also the situation of the very young teacher who had to say something to the class after the president left the classroom.

    I would have said nothing at all. I am unsure why there is a need to say anything, in your eyes. The president drew a cat (badly), so what?

    In addition, I would’ve been afraid to lose a job or/and worse because of saying one “wrong” word. Or any word at all, since everything one says can be twisted in 1001 ways, probably by students themselves.

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    1. Clarissa Avatar
      Clarissa

      “After my PM drew a bomb, I can’t judge Putin.”

      – I missed that story. He drew a bomb? I wonder what his psychoanalyst would have to say about this. 🙂

      “I would have said nothing at all. I am unsure why there is a need to say anything, in your eyes. The president drew a cat (badly), so what? In addition, I would’ve been afraid to lose a job or/and worse because of saying one “wrong” word. Or any word at all, since everything one says can be twisted in 1001 ways, probably by students themselves.”

      – Yes, but a teacher who tries to pretend that there hadn’t been a president in that classroom two minutes ago would really lose a big part of her authority.

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  9. el Avatar
    el

    \\ – Yes, but a teacher who tries to pretend that there hadn’t been a president in that classroom two minutes ago would really lose a big part of her authority.

    What should a teacher do?
    Suppose even a President behaves normally. I am unsure what is there to discuss.

    \\ – I missed that story. He drew a bomb?

    You haven’t missed. It’s an old story –

    (CNN) — Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu exhorted the United Nations General Assembly on Thursday to draw “a clear red line” to stop Iran from developing nuclear weapons.
    In a theatrical gesture, Netanyahu held up a cartoon-like drawing of a spherical bomb and drew a red line below the fuse, “before Iran completes the second stage of nuclear enrichment to make a bomb,” he said.
    http://edition.cnn.com/2012/09/27/world/new-york-unga/

    You can see a photo of then bomb at the link.

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    1. Clarissa Avatar
      Clarissa

      “What should a teacher do?”

      – That’s what I’m saying, I don’t know. And I’m pedagogically gifted.

      “Suppose even a President behaves normally. I am unsure what is there to discuss.”

      – When you have an invited speaker in the classroom, after the speaker leaves, you can’t just say nothing at all. Students are looking to you to situate the encounter. If you don’t do that, they just think you are uncomfortable. And that’s not a good place to be around students. Teacher discomfort or internal fidgeting spells the death of teacher authority. When the invited person is a figure of authority (which a president invariably is), after the speaker leaves, your job is to reestablish yourself as the figure of the greatest authority in the students’ eyes.

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  10. Shakti Avatar
    Shakti

    The encephalopathic cat is about to topple over. It is only happy because it drank catnip laced milk and is now about to stumble over on its shackled way way to the litter box. Poor cat.

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  11. n8chz Avatar
    n8chz

    This artist should be rewarded with a catastrophe!

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  12. el Avatar
    el

    I wish Putin would forget that Jews exist:

    The Crimean Peninsula “is of huge importance for the Russian nation, just as the Temple Mountain is for people of Jewish faith,” Russian President Valdimir Putin said Thursday in an attempt to defend Russia’ annexation of the formerly Ukrainian region.
    http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-4599786,00.html

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A conservative literary critic and college professor

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