Thank you for the support, everybody. You are good, kind, profound people, and it helps to know you exist.
Tragedy always highlights who is a great person and who is a self-involved piece of shit. I have had an opportunity to discover that the overwhelming majority of people are good and capable of feeling compassion and offering help. Even those who make an occasional clumsy comment have the capacity to understand that they are wrong and apologize.
Of course, there is also a class of people who can’t help trying to make somebody else’s suffering about their all-important selves. I have learned that the most destructive people are those who start every sentence with the word ‘I’.
“I don’t know what to say that will help you. I’m afraid of saying something insensitive. I’m suffering, too. I have no idea what to say right now.”
The message here is, “Forget your suffering, come service my emotional needs instead.”
Such people are to be avoided at all costs.
Clarissa's Blog 
Welcome back!
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Thank you!
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I’m not sure I understand. I think I maybe understand, but I’m not completely clear. I get upset when I’m not sure if I think what I think is understood. On the other hand I know that I suffer when I think about some things so I think I shouldn’t be inconvenienced and so I don’t think of them. I’d would ask if I’m understood but it’s probably futile. I’m never properly understood and I feel like I suffer so much and only I really notice how I feel…..
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I was once teaching one such person to express compassion. Her friend had suffered a horrible loss (her entire family died within weeks of each other), and this lady had no idea how to comfort the friend. I suggested to her that she make an effort and start her sentences not with “I” but with “you.” The woman honestly tried but could not come up with a single sentence like that. She didn’t even manage to repeat a sentence I designed for her. It was truly scary to observe.
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But let me get to the point, let’s roll another joint
And turn the radio loud, I’m too alone to be proud
You don’t know how it feels
Don’t know how familiar you are with the works of Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.
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Glad to see you back. I hope you found some peace and maybe even some cheer in this sad time. And I’m sorry that you have to deal with self-involved navel gazers.
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Good to have you back. Hopefully you and your dear N were able to spend some peaceful, reflective time together.
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Yes, we have a series of rituals we follow as part of the grieving process. And that helps.
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