So who’s with me on watching this debate? Carly Fiorina will be participating, and I’ve never heard her speak or seen her now famously insulted face. I will be liveblogging, even though this stupid app will be making it very hard.
7:11 – isn’t it the funniest thing ever how they are standing in front of Reagan’s symbolic penis? I’m having fun already.
7:12 – Huckabee: all I can say about myself is what I’m not. Ted Cruz is doing his best impression of a bad bit-part actor. Trump showed with his finger where his talent is, just in case we were confused. Jeb is struggling not to look exhausted. Walker can’t help discussing Reagan’s symbolic penis. Fiorina is not at all ugly.
7:19 – is Kasich drunk? He was incoherent. And Christie almost cried.
7:20 – once again, the host is making the debate about Trump. And asking Fiorina if she’d be comfortable with Trump’s finger someplace sounds icky.
7:23- OK, I loved how Trump hit Paul in the gonads about his ugliness.
7:25 – Walker said the only non-boring thing in his life, telling Trump we don’t need an apprentice in the White House. And then blabbed incoherently.
7:29 – now Christie is being asked where he has his finger. This is what happens when you put a huge phallic symbol on the stage. It all becomes about sticking fingers into places.
7:31 – Bush mumbled over the question on being bought by his donors. Trump defends Hillary from Bush. Wow.
7:35 – Trump is being honest about his love of Putin. I appreciate the honesty, at least.
7:37 – Rubio looks like an earnest A – student. Putin would eat this boy alive.
7:38 – Fiorina actually gives the most intelligent response on Putin. Interesting.
7:45 – Bush proposes arming Israel and siccing it on Iran. Is he completely insane?
7:53 – God, is it really necessary to talk about poor, insane Kim Davis? Everybody will forget who she is two minutes from now.
8:00 – Christie just accused Hillary of murdering babies. The irony of her actually being a person who, unlike him, could and did give birth to a baby is escaping him.
8:04 – when Trump says he’ll “protect women”, that sounds very creepy.
8:06 – these fellows hate women so much that I’m starting to feel sorry for them. What did their mothers do to this bunch of sad, hateful little freaks?
8:10 – “We have a lot of bad dudes in this country,” Trump says. Yes, and here they are, on this very stage. Could we have them deported?
8:24 – all of the fake drama that CNN is trying to generate underscores that all these candidates agree on everything. Which means they have no positions or opinions. They just have a dusty, rusty, boring party line.
8:39 – Huckabee is proposing to eliminate taxes altogether. Poor crazy idiot.
8:53 – OK, I’ve already heard all this verbatim early in the debate. Have these folks run out of talking points?
8:57 – I’d so love to see Hillary debate Rubio. She would crush this itty-bitty little fellow.
9:02 – Trump said what Obama never dared to: Dubya was a horrible president who tanked the economy. I now hope that Hillary drives this point home forcefully when she debates Bush, the Sequel.
9:08 – Christie is trying to get points by sharing that his wife walked past World Trade Center before the attacks. That’s just pathetic. Playing the victim on somebody else’s suffering. Bleh.
9:17 – Kasich is asking us to respect our Jewish principles. Freaky.
9:42 – Rubio demonstrated that all this Reagan worship is all fake with his response on climate change.
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