Just to clarify: inserting a sex organ into something or inserting something into a sex organ is only sex if done for purposes of sexual gratification. Nobody thinks that women, for instance, have sex with tampons or with the instruments at an OB-GYN’s office, do they?
So it’s not “Cameron had sex with a dead pig” unless he told you he was trying to get off. And hey, what’s with the stultifying prudery? I’m starting to get reminded of the convent school where nuns had a fainting fit when a student crossed her legs. The poor oversexed nuns were convinced this was a way to fornicate.

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