So Elton John got a phone call from Putin. Of course, he immediately started simpering and whimpering, “Oh, thank you so much for calling, oh, I love Russia so much.” After the call ended, he made sure everybody found out about this great honor.

And, obviously, it immediately became known that Putin never made that call. A couple of tricksters played a joke on Sir John, that’s all.

But before you laugh at the gullibility of Elton John, get this: an article in The New York Times says that sources in the White House confirm that Obama is in favor of accepting Putin’s help that will consist in keeping Assad in power in perpetuity. This means that Obama is ready to bury any hope for the end of the war in Syria because he chooses to believe Putin’s overtures of friendship.

Elton John is an easily excitable artist. What’s Obama’s excuse?

So. The state of Illinois still charges all of us (state university employees) a considerable amount of money for our health insurance. Yet it has now told us that our health costs will not be covered by said insurance. We are told to pay for our healthcare costs “in cash.”

The last time I saw a doctor was Monday. The bill for that visit was $1078. Does anybody have this kind of cash just lying around?

The state takes our money that is supposed to go towards healthcare and uses it to cover other needs. Like, for instance, the enormous salaries to Governor Rauner’s humongous cast of bureaucrats and lackeys.

People, use your brains. Try to use your brains, people. You buy into these ridiculous lies about Republicans wanting “a small government” and being “pro-life”. Then you elect scam artists like Rauner who immediately order to take sick kids off ventilators and steal medical insurance from patients in order to pay for a hugely expanded bureaucratic staff that will make them and their useless relatives feel important.

First, they vote for this deadbeat and then they whine that the state is impoverished. Congenitally stupid losers, that’s who they are.

Yes, it’s obvious that nobody in their right mind would fail to see this is a clock. Every clock in my house looks exactly like this. Silly scare-mongerers who can’t recognize a clock when they see one!

Of course, the kid is not to blame for anything. But it’s also understandable that people look at this and remember that Columbine was planned to be primarily a bombing attack. And framing this as “Texan idiots freak out about a clock” is a bit unfair.

A friend who is a passionate, life-long Democrat notices my Bernie Sanders sticker.

“He’s great,” she says. “But I won’t vote for him. He’ll want to take all my money.”

Carson seems to be angling for a veep spot on Trump’s ticket.

Bush is a rerun of Romney. Fake, vapid, struggling to look charming and only managing to look creepy.

Everybody else has zero chance.

So who’s with me on watching this debate? Carly Fiorina will be participating, and I’ve never heard her speak or seen her now famously insulted face. I will be liveblogging, even though this stupid app will be making it very hard.

7:11 – isn’t it the funniest thing ever how they are standing in front of Reagan’s symbolic penis? I’m having fun already.

7:12 – Huckabee: all I can say about myself is what I’m not. Ted Cruz is doing his best impression of a bad bit-part actor. Trump showed with his finger where his talent is, just in case we were confused. Jeb is struggling not to look exhausted. Walker can’t help discussing Reagan’s symbolic penis. Fiorina is not at all ugly.

7:19 – is Kasich drunk? He was incoherent. And Christie almost cried.

7:20 – once again, the host is making the debate about Trump. And asking Fiorina if she’d be comfortable with Trump’s finger someplace sounds icky.

7:23- OK, I loved how Trump hit Paul in the gonads about his ugliness.

7:25 – Walker said the only non-boring thing in his life, telling Trump we don’t need an apprentice in the White House. And then blabbed incoherently.

7:29 – now Christie is being asked where he has his finger. This is what happens when you put a huge phallic symbol on the stage. It all becomes about sticking fingers into places.

7:31 – Bush mumbled over the question on being bought by his donors. Trump defends Hillary from Bush. Wow.

7:35 – Trump is being honest about his love of Putin. I appreciate the honesty, at least.

7:37 – Rubio looks like an earnest A – student. Putin would eat this boy alive.

7:38 – Fiorina actually gives the most intelligent response on Putin. Interesting.

7:45 – Bush proposes arming Israel and siccing it on Iran. Is he completely insane?

7:53 –  God, is it really necessary to talk about poor, insane Kim Davis? Everybody will forget who she is two minutes from now.

8:00 – Christie just accused Hillary of murdering babies. The irony of her actually being a person who, unlike him, could and did give birth to a baby is escaping him.

8:04 – when Trump says he’ll “protect women”, that sounds very creepy.

8:06 – these fellows hate women so much that I’m starting to feel sorry for them. What did their mothers do to this bunch of sad, hateful little freaks?

8:10 – “We have a lot of bad dudes in this country,” Trump says. Yes, and here they are, on this very stage. Could we have them deported?

8:24 – all of the fake drama that CNN is trying to generate underscores that all these candidates agree on everything. Which means they have no positions or opinions. They just have a dusty, rusty, boring party line.

8:39 – Huckabee is proposing to eliminate taxes altogether. Poor crazy idiot.

8:53 – OK, I’ve already heard all this verbatim early in the debate. Have these folks run out of talking points?

8:57 – I’d so love to see Hillary debate Rubio. She would crush this itty-bitty little fellow.

9:02 – Trump said what Obama never dared to: Dubya was a horrible president who tanked the economy. I now hope that Hillary drives this point home forcefully when she debates Bush, the Sequel.

9:08 – Christie is trying to get points by sharing that his wife walked past World Trade Center before the attacks. That’s just pathetic. Playing the victim on somebody else’s suffering. Bleh.

9:17 – Kasich is asking us to respect our Jewish principles. Freaky.

9:42 – Rubio demonstrated that all this Reagan worship is all fake with his response on climate change.

Reader Stringer Bell is declared the Hero of the Month for teaching me how to insert images into blog comments. I’m very lazy and never learn new skills unless they are super easy. And this one is super easy.

Reader Cliff Arroyo is declared the Hedgehog Hero of the Month for posting a photo of the cutest hedgehog ever.

Readers Tim and Stille get my eternal gratitude for trying to help and reader Evelina Anville gets a special commendation for praising the photo of me on the beach.

And reader Dreidel gets thanks for starting this whole thing.

The horrors that are taking place on the border between Hungary and Serbia:

Europeans were not to blame for anything that had happened in the lives of the refugees previously.

But they are to blame for this. This is an absolute disgrace. And there was absolutely no need to create the horrible situation where people are kept behind barbed wire and hit with water guns.

This all looks like rich, bored people are trying to entertain themselves by luring the refugees to the border and then assaulting them with water guns. I’m not saying anybody had this specific goal in mind but this is the result.

I’m sickened to my stomach by these horrible developments. I will never believe that there is no better alternative.

The EU leadership proved to be not even bad but simply absent.

People, does anybody know how to insert images into comments on this blog?

The reader who has an answer will be declared the blog’s Hero of the Month.

People, tell me, what kind of a stupid wanker keeps doing the same thing over and over again and expects different results every single time?

The NYTimes says that Obama is considering meeting with Putin at the UN General Assembly. Words fail me to describe how painfully stupid and self-defeating this is. As every single past experience demonstrates, Putin will see that as a victory over the “weak, degenerate Americans” and will intensify his saber-rattling.

I can only imagine the triumphalist eruptions of Putinoid media along the lines of, “The US supports Russia’s actions in Ukraine and Syria.” Because that’s exactly how Obama’s efforts to talk to Putin and reach agreements with him are always interpreted in Russia. Always. Every single time.

Obama is planning to spit in the face of Ukrainians and of his Syrian allies just so that Putin can congratulate himself on sticking it to the weak Americans. That’s such a noble, important goal. I hope Obama doesn’t break a leg in his rush towards playing the role of Putin’s lackey yet again.