I love good food, chic restaurants, high cuisine, and long complex recipes.
However, if I end up in heaven (as a result of someone’s oversight), the meal I will be served for breakfast, lunch and dinner will consist of
1) mashed potatoes,
2) sosiski
3) and a kosher pickled cucumber
Yes, this is what I’ll be eating for eternity. Proletarian origins stay with you forever.
What will you be served in heaven?
I expect to go to Hell and be force-fed coconut for eternity. 🙂
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Right next to me, for sure. I hate coconut. And coconut water.
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Especially coconut water, because it looks harmless until you take a drink. Then you have to scrape the taste off your tongue with a wire brush!!!
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Coconut water is delicious and refreshing if you get it straight out of the coconut. It is also much, much, much cheaper than artificial drinks like Coke.
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That’s not how it’s marketed here in the States, it’s sold in little juice boxes or cans. One can get fresh coconuts from Mexico in the local markets here, but I don’t know about markets outside of California.
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That canned coconut water is the most disgusting thing ever. Tastes like diluted dishwasher liquid.
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In Mexico (near Oaxaca) they slice off the top of the coconut (green, not the hairy brown ones) with a machete and stuck a straw in. When the water was gone they lopped in half and gave you a spoon for the delicious soft meat inside.
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That is basically what they do here except you don’t get a spoon. Instead they cut a sharp wedge out of the husk for you to use to scrape out the white part.
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My mom’s clam linguini and caesar salad with homemade croutons, apple cider, and warm apple pie with ice cream for dessert. This should alternate with chile rellenos, guacamole+chips, and margaritas. Mmmm….
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Cider would go great with my paradise meal. 🙂
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Actually, some of the best food I ever tasted was the year I was stationed in Korea. The Air Force got me to spend a year there by promising me my choice of any base on Germany, if I’d take a remote tour in Asia first.
You ever tasted bulgogi, or yaki mandu, or kimchi, washed down by a bottle of warm sake?
Heaven on earth, which is as close as I’ll ever get. (Arizona is a good close second.)
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The only Asian food I can eat is sushi. Everything else my brain doesn’t see as food. I once went into a Thai restaurant and almost fainted when I saw what was being served.
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Well, maybe some of the bulgogi I ate had some some bull doggy in it, but who cares? Ah, it was delicious!
I’m an animal lover and all that, but the human race won’t go 100% vegetarian until they day they plow me under.
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In Kyrgyzstan the Koryo-Saram (Russian-Korean) cafes specialize in dog. It isn’t bad.
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“The only Asian food I can eat is sushi.”
Are you kidding, raw fish — one of the few foods in the world that tastes as bad as it’s deadly? I’m glad I’m not your physician.
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I thought you were a big fan of Uzbek plov which is definitely Asian food. I am going to go argue with the administration and a bit that despite their narrow view that China is not all of Asia and that yes Uzbekistan is part of Asia.
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Yes, I’m just like the people at your university who have a limited vision of Asia. I do feel ashamed.
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Arizona is my favorite state and has awesome Sonoran food as well as some other things. There is even a good Vietnamese place in Green Valley between Nogales and Tucson. Nothing beats a pot-luck at the Arivaca Community Center for good eating, however, nothing.
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And finally — I can’t resist — Come on, “Bubbies” as the name for pickles aimed at an American market??? Surely, the current CEO — presumably the downstream generation of the woman shown on the the label — knows what the homonym “boobies” means in current U.S. slang? Is he salaciously implying a taste test?
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I assume this name appeals to Clarissa because it sounds like “Buddy.”
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I don’t have what you’d call a refined palate. Past a certain quality threshhold I’m more interested in quantity than quality.
Also I tend to approach food the way I do punk and country music – where the marke of quality is that you’re convinced it’s the best song ever for the two and half minutes that you’re listening to it.
With that in mind I don’t have a single meal but a repeftoire of all time favorites showing up in random order.
Here are three of my own recipes (that I won’t have to make since there will be angel cooks following my recipes to the T)
Spanish yellow rice with garbanzo beans and chorizo (the secret ingredient is a crapton of saffron)
Sauerkraut with mushrooms, several types of sausage, maybe other meats with lots of carroway simmered in butter for a long time and topped with a massive slab of sour cream.
Duck breasts with dark gravy (the secret ingredient is lovage) over steamed yeast dumplings and red cabbage on the side.
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Sounds like a dance — may I cut in, mid-step, with my knife and fork in hand?
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Now I want squash and mashed potatoes. Darn you, Clarissa
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Now I want squash and mashed potatoes. Darn you, Clarissa! I haven’t even gone to my first class yet!
(I honestly did not expect that to post. I didn’t even click anything. Sorry.)
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I eat such meal sometimes, but don’t like it very much. With usual (cheaper) chicken sosiski, at least. Lately, I found good special (and costy) sort of sosiski – beef with Cremini/ Portabella mushrooms. Instead of mashed potatoes, I prefer Sauerkraut or икру из сининьких.
// What will you be served in heaven?
Watermelon, sour cherries, special sosiski and rice, and more. Also, cakes with lots of white cream. 🙂
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One thing I miss from the Soviet Union is the varenaya sausage, the kind that was made mostly of cellulose. I even see it in dreams sometimes.
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I would add salo. I am Ukrainian, which, in particular, means being crazy about this incredible and incomparable national food. 🙂
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Boring answer here, but if I had to pick one food and eat it for eternity then that would be hell. To be surprised everyday would be the best answer I could offer.
That being said, it would be content eating mussels, ceviche, chirimoyas, and poutine (yes) on a daily basis.
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I love poutine. But one can only get a good one in Quebec. Everything else is a travesty.
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I’ll eat anything as long as someone else cooks it.
I am fed up with cooking.
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Oh I hear ya, when all 5 kids have one by one asked me what’s for tea, said yuk and left… then they come back and ask again “’cause I forgot what you said already” AARRGGHHH!!!
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There is no paradise for Londoners — they’re simply brought back to life in a farther-out transit zone.
I started out in zone one, I tell you, and the last I lived in London, I had to live in zone four … ME, in zone four, it was horrid!
[and you can’t get oeufs en cocotte in zone four, no matter how hard you try] 🙂
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A conservative literary critic and college professor
Clarissa's Blog 
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