What Will Be Served in Paradise?

I love good food, chic restaurants, high cuisine, and long complex recipes.

However, if I end up in heaven (as a result of someone’s oversight), the meal I will be served for breakfast, lunch and dinner will consist of

1) mashed potatoes,

2) sosiski

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Sosiski

3) and a kosher pickled cucumber

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This one, not the bright green vinegary thing

Yes, this is what I’ll be eating for eternity. Proletarian origins stay with you forever.

What will you be served in heaven?

34 thoughts on “What Will Be Served in Paradise?

      1. Especially coconut water, because it looks harmless until you take a drink. Then you have to scrape the taste off your tongue with a wire brush!!!

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          1. That’s not how it’s marketed here in the States, it’s sold in little juice boxes or cans. One can get fresh coconuts from Mexico in the local markets here, but I don’t know about markets outside of California.

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          2. In Mexico (near Oaxaca) they slice off the top of the coconut (green, not the hairy brown ones) with a machete and stuck a straw in. When the water was gone they lopped in half and gave you a spoon for the delicious soft meat inside.

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  1. My mom’s clam linguini and caesar salad with homemade croutons, apple cider, and warm apple pie with ice cream for dessert. This should alternate with chile rellenos, guacamole+chips, and margaritas. Mmmm….

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  2. Actually, some of the best food I ever tasted was the year I was stationed in Korea. The Air Force got me to spend a year there by promising me my choice of any base on Germany, if I’d take a remote tour in Asia first.

    You ever tasted bulgogi, or yaki mandu, or kimchi, washed down by a bottle of warm sake?

    Heaven on earth, which is as close as I’ll ever get. (Arizona is a good close second.)

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    1. The only Asian food I can eat is sushi. Everything else my brain doesn’t see as food. I once went into a Thai restaurant and almost fainted when I saw what was being served.

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      1. Well, maybe some of the bulgogi I ate had some some bull doggy in it, but who cares? Ah, it was delicious!

        I’m an animal lover and all that, but the human race won’t go 100% vegetarian until they day they plow me under.

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      2. “The only Asian food I can eat is sushi.”

        Are you kidding, raw fish — one of the few foods in the world that tastes as bad as it’s deadly? I’m glad I’m not your physician.

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      3. I thought you were a big fan of Uzbek plov which is definitely Asian food. I am going to go argue with the administration and a bit that despite their narrow view that China is not all of Asia and that yes Uzbekistan is part of Asia.

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    2. Arizona is my favorite state and has awesome Sonoran food as well as some other things. There is even a good Vietnamese place in Green Valley between Nogales and Tucson. Nothing beats a pot-luck at the Arivaca Community Center for good eating, however, nothing.

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  3. And finally — I can’t resist — Come on, “Bubbies” as the name for pickles aimed at an American market??? Surely, the current CEO — presumably the downstream generation of the woman shown on the the label — knows what the homonym “boobies” means in current U.S. slang? Is he salaciously implying a taste test?

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  4. I don’t have what you’d call a refined palate. Past a certain quality threshhold I’m more interested in quantity than quality.

    Also I tend to approach food the way I do punk and country music – where the marke of quality is that you’re convinced it’s the best song ever for the two and half minutes that you’re listening to it.

    With that in mind I don’t have a single meal but a repeftoire of all time favorites showing up in random order.

    Here are three of my own recipes (that I won’t have to make since there will be angel cooks following my recipes to the T)

    Spanish yellow rice with garbanzo beans and chorizo (the secret ingredient is a crapton of saffron)

    Sauerkraut with mushrooms, several types of sausage, maybe other meats with lots of carroway simmered in butter for a long time and topped with a massive slab of sour cream.

    Duck breasts with dark gravy (the secret ingredient is lovage) over steamed yeast dumplings and red cabbage on the side.

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    1. Now I want squash and mashed potatoes. Darn you, Clarissa! I haven’t even gone to my first class yet!

      (I honestly did not expect that to post. I didn’t even click anything. Sorry.)

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  5. I eat such meal sometimes, but don’t like it very much. With usual (cheaper) chicken sosiski, at least. Lately, I found good special (and costy) sort of sosiski – beef with Cremini/ Portabella mushrooms. Instead of mashed potatoes, I prefer Sauerkraut or ΠΈΠΊΡ€Ρƒ ΠΈΠ· ΡΠΈΠ½ΠΈΠ½ΡŒΠΊΠΈΡ….

    // What will you be served in heaven?

    Watermelon, sour cherries, special sosiski and rice, and more. Also, cakes with lots of white cream. πŸ™‚

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  6. Boring answer here, but if I had to pick one food and eat it for eternity then that would be hell. To be surprised everyday would be the best answer I could offer.

    That being said, it would be content eating mussels, ceviche, chirimoyas, and poutine (yes) on a daily basis.

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    1. Oh I hear ya, when all 5 kids have one by one asked me what’s for tea, said yuk and left… then they come back and ask again “’cause I forgot what you said already” AARRGGHHH!!!

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  7. There is no paradise for Londoners — they’re simply brought back to life in a farther-out transit zone.

    I started out in zone one, I tell you, and the last I lived in London, I had to live in zone four … ME, in zone four, it was horrid!

    [and you can’t get oeufs en cocotte in zone four, no matter how hard you try] πŸ™‚

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