So why do such people use the belief that they are not good enough as a survival mechanism?
In Lisa Gardner’s recent novel Find Her, the protagonist was kidnapped by a rapist and kept by him for months in a wooden box. She was completely dependent on him, never knowing if he’d show up and bring her food, clean her up, help her move. She was so helpless that a small object stuck under her head was causing her torture because she couldn’t move her head to find greater comfort. As a result, her personality was completely erased and she became insanely attached to the rapist.
This all sounds horrifying but aside form the rapist part, we all have had this exact same experience. Actually, this helplessness, dependence, incapacity to move on our own are the foundational experiences of all our lives. We were all this helpless as infants.
An infant is entirely dependent on the mercy of incomprehensible, enormous creatures who have to show up to feed, change and help her move. Or not. Like Lisa Gardner’s character, they never know if the all-powerful savior will come back or leave them to perish.
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