Got Plans?

Published by

Clarissa

May 14, 2016

Is it a new customer service fad to ask shoppers what their plans are for the weekend? Three weeks in a row I stare stupidly at store assistants and cashiers without the slightest idea as to what I’m supposed to say in response to their cheerful, “So. Got any fun plans for this wonderful, sunny day?” They don’t seem to be content with a yes or a no. But I’m pretty sure it’s not a detailed account of my schedule for the day that they want to hear. I tried deflecting by asking what their plans were but it sounded like mockery given that they were clearly working.

Just as I mastered the correct way to handle the interminable hi-how-are-yous, life throws me this new sociability curveball.

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19 responses to “Got Plans?”

Dreidel

May 14, 2016

Why don’t you just smile and say, “I plan on minding my own business”?

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1. Clarissa
  
  May 14, 2016
  
  I don’t want to perpetuate the stereotype of a mean Russian person, though. I’m probably the locals’ only chance of exposure to somebody with a Russian accent.
  
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  1. Dreidel
    
    May 14, 2016
    
    Do you really think most Americans can distinguish a Russian accent from an Eastern European accent in general? It’s like trying to tell the difference between a Chinese and Korean accent, or a German and Dutch one…
    
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    1. Clarissa
      
      May 14, 2016
      
      Yes, it’s true. Everybody here thinks I’m German or Scandinavian.
      
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Shakti

May 14, 2016

They’re either 1)bored out of their minds so they ask a rote question to make small talk or 2)ordered to be more “friendly” in a small town way so they ask this question.
Really, it’s a one line answer if you’re so inclined.

You could have fun with non sequiturs.
“I go where the wind takes me.”
“I plan to murder The Weeknd.” (Note: if they know who The Weeknd is they might get concerned )

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1. Dreidel
  
  May 14, 2016
  
  Good answers, but technically not “non sequiturs” because they don’t make an illogical argument. 🙂
  
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cliff arroyo

May 14, 2016

Very off topic: Ukraine wins Eurovision!!!!

Australia second
Russia third

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1. Clarissa
  
  May 14, 2016
  
  Are you serious?????? Oh wow. I knew it was the right idea to make borscht today!
  
  This is great news.
  
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2. Clarissa
  
  May 14, 2016
  
  Why is Australia on Eurovision? ?
  
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  1. cliff arroyo
    
    May 14, 2016
    
    It’s apparently very popular there. They competed on a trial basis last year (60th anniversary) and it went well enough to bring them back again.
    
    Technically Israel isn’t in Europe either and they’re there every year (Cyprus is geographically Asian too).
    
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3. JaneB
  
  May 14, 2016
  
  Just what Ukraine needs, the expectation to spend a large sum of money on a pointless bad taste entertainment show.
  
  Some argue it’s what Europe does instead of going to war… well, THAT statement will be strained to the limit by Eurovision in Ukraine, won’t it?
  
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  1. Clarissa
    
    May 14, 2016
    
    No, this will be an enormous boost for Ukrainians and especially the Muslim Tatar minority that Jamala represents.
    
    For once, Eurovision will bring great positive practical result . This is very cool.
    
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  2. cliff arroyo
    
    May 14, 2016
    
    It’s a major moral victory (of the kind that is desparately needed) – money isn’t everything. Ukraine won before about 10 years ago so they have the facilities to host it again. It won’t be as high tech as this year but that’s a good thing (too many fancy computer effects get in the way).
    
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    1. Clarissa
      
      May 14, 2016
      
      Yes, this has an enormous symbolic value. Becoming part of Europe was the whole point of the Revolution. And this victory will be interpreted in Ukraine as a sign that Europe loves it back.
      
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Pen

May 14, 2016

It sounds like something they were told to say, especially if they all worked in the same store.

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1. Clarissa
  
  May 14, 2016
  
  These are different stores but in the same tiny town.
  
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anon

May 16, 2016

They’re mostly bored and trying to be friendly. Give them something generic and not too detailed and they’ll be happy. A good stock response might be: “Oh nothing too exciting, just having a nice relaxing weekend with the family.”

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1. Clarissa
  
  May 16, 2016
  
  That’s a good one. I’ll memorize it.
  
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Jones

May 18, 2016

“Actually, I was thinking I’d go somewhere off-world, maybe Mars, because that’d be a good short holiday, but I realised you have no space ships, no colonies on Mars, and in fact nothing more than a big box orbiting the Earth with bad plumbing and two incompatible water systems, so I’m planning on staying in because I have high standards.”

Then wait for the reaction, because they were definitely not expecting this.

🙂

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