Hiring and Dating

Published by

Clarissa

July 14, 2016

I hate hiring because it reminds me of dating. I spent 9 years dating and enjoyed none of it.

In both hiring and dating, people conceal their real goals for entirely unfathomable reasons. They claim to be looking for a casual relationship (full-time job) when they actually desperately want to get married (work part-time).

People demonstrate complete lack of self-awareness. Everything they say about themselves is the exact opposite of who they are. The messiest person in the world sincerely considers himself a meticulous neat freak. A person who needs endless micromanagement insists she is a free spirit and an independent thinker.
In both activities, people are known to disappear without an explanation after a few great dates (blissful work days) only to resurface two months later in order to inform you that you are the love of their lives / employer of their dreams.

I will have to start interviewing graduate assistants tomorrow and I dread the prospect. Hiring and dating both suck.

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13 responses to “Hiring and Dating”

Shakti

July 14, 2016

In both hiring and dating, people conceal their real goals for entirely unfathomable reasons. They claim to be looking for a casual relationship (full-time job) when they actually desperately want to get married (work part-time).
Or vice versa.

People demonstrate complete lack of self-awareness. Everything they say about themselves is the exact opposite of who they are. The messiest person in the world sincerely considers himself a meticulous neat freak. A person who needs endless micromanagement insists she is a free spirit and an independent thinker.
IOW, telling you what they think you want to hear. Nobody advertises for messy people that need micromanagement!

In both activities, people are known to disappear without an explanation after a few great dates (blissful work days) only to resurface two months later in order to inform you that you are the love of their lives / employer of their dreams.
Maybe it wasn’t as blissful as you think? I’ve had this happen to me, hilariously.

So why do you think people conceal their motivations from themselves and others so much in these arenas?

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1. Clarissa
  
  July 14, 2016
  
  I think it very rarely even occurs to people that there might be a connection between speech acts and what they are thinking. People say things they believe need to be said without any connection to any actual reality. Many people speak in prefab statements they heard on TV or somewhere else and repeat because they like the sound. What the statement actually means doesn’t interest them.
  
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  1. Shakti
    
    July 14, 2016
    
    I think it very rarely even occurs to people that there might be a connection between speech acts and what they are thinking.
    Ha! I see this in job ads and online dating ads.
    Everybody wants an independent self starting multitasking team player with an upbeat attitude who is also a people person…even if the job is repetitive data entry in a basement somewhere.
    
    I see a lot of people who say they are ambitious and easy going when hardly anyone is both at the same time. LMAO. “I’m an easy going triathlete who seeks the same.”
    
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2. Clarissa
  
  July 14, 2016
  
  I once briefly dated a guy who spoke almost exclusively in phrases from that week’s episode of Ally McBeal. It was done without a trace of irony, with great solemnity. That was the first and the last time I dated somebody older than me.
  
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  1. Shakti
    
    July 14, 2016
    
    I once briefly dated a guy who spoke almost exclusively in phrases from that week’s episode of Ally McBeal.
    
    What?
    That sounds like the beginning of a comedy sketch.
    
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Z

July 14, 2016

Dating, they say what they think you want to hear or what they think is correct. Hiring, the same happens although in this case if the job is new to them they may not know enough about its realities to speak more concretely. In that case it is not lack of self awareness, it is just lack of practical experience. I find though that the directness and honesty of the interviewer can make a great deal of difference. If they are able to step out of the stuffed shirt, hold your cards to your chest role, the other may do so as well.

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David Gendron

July 14, 2016

Interviewing graduante assistants? I would like to know what it is

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1. David Gendron
  
  July 14, 2016
  
  Interviewing graduate assistants? I would like to know what it is.
  
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  1. Clarissa
    
    July 14, 2016
    
    She will be coordinating the conversation hour in Spanish. The previous one almost drove two of my colleagues to nervous breakdowns.
    
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    1. David Gendron
      
      July 14, 2016
      
      I never been aware of any kind of interviewing for graduate assistant in all of my years in graduate studies. If something like that had existed, I would not have been excluded for my Ph. D.
      
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      1. Clarissa
        
        July 15, 2016
        
        We don’t have our own graduate students so we have to bring in outside ones.
        
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        David Gendron
        
        July 15, 2016
        
        Sorry, I forgot this. I’m an idiot!
        
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        Clarissa
        
        July 15, 2016
        
        No, it’s OK, you can’t be expected to remember these details.
        
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