Today I had the best time I have ever had in this region outside of my house. I ended up having lunch with a group of African American colleagues from the administrative staff. At first, I didn’t understand why I was having such a great time but then I realized that nobody had commented on my accent, my name or my place of origin, nobody mentioned “my country” or assumed I had a country different from this one. In fact, my immigrant status never came up at all. Nobody had a problem understanding me, nobody avoided eye contact, nobody discussed things I don’t understand. I wasn’t treated like an immigrant oddity but simply like a regular human being no different from anybody else.
I talked a lot more than I ever do when I’m with a group of complete strangers. The conversation was heavily political but it was never uncomfortable. I understood all of the jokes and all of the references people made. Nobody acted like they’d been approached by an orange alien with fangs when I addressed them. It was so strange to feel completely normal.
I never realized how much I missed the feeling of complete and unremarkable normalcy, of simply being part of a group. And God, what a relief not to have to repeat everything twice and not to have people make a show of not understanding anything I say.
Clarissa's Blog 
IINM qhile African Americans tend to be very direct in many situations where whites aren’t and indirect when whites are more direct.
As an example, they usually avoid direct questions about a person (to prevent bringing up potentially embarrassing topics) and tend to drop hints inviting the person to talk about themselves instead.
Obviously I don’t know if that’s what was going on here or if it was a contributing factor or not.
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Maybe that’s what it was. And it was such a relief!
It was also great that nobody struggled with my accent. I’d been to lunch with a colleague I’ve known for years two days before, a foreign languages prof. And she literally had me repeat every sentence I said. I have no explanation for this.
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Somebody left a comment on my blog years ago that she finally found her people when she started going to a a gym in a part of town that was heavily African American. She said she finally felt warmth and acceptance and being part of a group that joked around and had fun, which she’d been sorely missing since moving to that city and never found in “white” spaces. It’s a cultural aspect and likely has a racial aspect, as well.
I think that being an immigrant with an accept puts you at a lower status with respect to similarly educated American-born whites in their eyes, and they communicate nonacceptance loudly and clearly (and are also much more enamored of preserving the social hierarchy). The staff don’t perceive you like that because they are not as invested in the hierarchy and in putting other people down to maintain their status, because they are not at the top anyway and know it.
I am also much more comfortable conversing with our department staff than I am with many of my faculty colleagues, just as I am very comfortable going to sports bars, dingy coffee shops, and small rock-concert venues, where many of my prissy colleagues would not be caught dead.
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Hey, I’m exactly the same in my choice of places to hang out! I like being around normal people without these prissy ways you summarized so well.
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