That weird feeling when two special agents show up at your doorstep and ask, “So ma’am, since you are from Eastern Europe, what’s your opinion on Putin?”
It takes some effort to abstain from jokes about “wanting the dish on your new employer, do you?”
Yes, it’s a thing that actually happened to me. Like right now. I’m having a real shitty day.
Details to follow.
What?? This is insane.
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Turns out they use ice-breakers to get people talking. This was the one they came up with for me.
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So for an ice-breaker, they ask a politically loaded question to someone from Eastern Europe? Yeah, great technique for getting a person to relax and start chatting!
Give us the promised details. Were these “special agents” (please define further: ICE? FBI? CIA? plain-clothes cops?) specifically sent to talk to you, or were they knocking on all the doors in the neighborhood?
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Oh yeah, it was a visit to me personally. And why would it be ICE? We are citizens. Or the CIA. Plus, special agents? There are no special agents in the police. Oh no, these were federal agents.
And actually, the ice-breaker is not that bad. I can’t help myself and avoid talking about Putin if anybody asks.
They also asked something about Mexicans and Puerto Ricans which, unlike Putin, elicited no response from me. I don’t teach about Mexicans for free.
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“There are no special agents in the police.”
Actually there are, at both the state and local level.
“And why would it be … the CIA?”
Why not? You look like one of those spies nobody would suspect, anyway, using a cute toddler for cover!
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Wow, that is really weird. I thought that only happened in movies.
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Whaaa?
I’m not sure how it’s relevant to anything. Maybe they were subtly trying to establish baselines for their internal lie detector test. They start with the weather and then go to Putin and then go to what they really want to know?
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Yes, it was part of the small-talk prelude. The second question was “so how long have you been married?” I’m not married to Putin so I refused to answer.
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Oh my God. I’m so sorry. Sending good thoughts your way.
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Yikes.
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WTF was their mission?
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A conservative literary critic and college professor
Clarissa's Blog 
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