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Unpopular Kids

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Clarissa

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This “best tweet ever” is why I detest Twitter. It reminds me of those really unpopular, sad, nerdy kids in high school who were desperate to ingratiate themselves with the popular crowd. They’d act like clowns, crack dumb jokes, make outlandish compliments and look with forlorn, hopeful eyes at the popular kids, hoping to get noticed and approved.

I was the most unpopular kid known to humanity but I wouldn’t stoop to being servile to the class’s aristocracy. And it always felt like a huge betrayal when my brother and sister rejects simpered and begged for approval.

It’s only now that I finally figured out why political Twitter makes my blood boil. I still feel vicarious shame for people who are so desperate for approval.

6 responses to “Unpopular Kids”

  1. Stringer Bell Avatar
    Stringer Bell

    Literally everything you described holds for social media in general. Why the special hate for twitter?

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    1. Clarissa Avatar
      Clarissa

      It seems like Facebook has gone a lot in this direction recently, that’s true. But FB only brings the inner idiot out in people, not the inner class clown. At least, on my FB nobody is trying to be funny. They are only trying to be apocalyptic.

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      1. cliff arroyo Avatar
        cliff arroyo

        that explains why the only social media platform I can abide is twitter, it’s stupid and anyone who takes it seriously as any kind of medium of serious expression is…. very odd, but it’s mean.

        Facebook always feels to me like I’ve stumbled by mistake into the most boring family reunion on earth, one in which everybody is terrified of any kind of disagreement and so everybody praises everybody for remembering to breathe … oh and look Uncle Goober sat down! Good job Uncle Goober! And look! It’s weather of some kind (everybody claps)

        Instagram feels like a bunch of shysters trying to sell each other get rich quick schemes that none of them believe in (plus they’re all broke and trying to hide it).

        Twitter is like a filthy dive bar where failed members of the Algonquin table go to have a quick gin and tonic and practice tearing each other to shreds verbally with no pretense or malice. Not exactly life affirming, but at least there’s an occasional good line.

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        1. Clarissa Avatar
          Clarissa

          I guess you were more popular in high school than me. Which is a very easy thing to do. 🙂

          My Facebook is filled with wailing about Trump. I don’t even go there to look at baby pictures any more because I can’t stand this much collective outrage. I really enjoyed my innocent baby picture hobby and now I’m deprived of it because of the wailing.

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          1. cliff arroyo Avatar
            cliff arroyo

            ” you were more popular in high school than me”

            I dunno… I was mostly an oblivious, outsider weirdo, the idea of popularity was alien and exotic.

            I never got into FB enough for it to be ruined for me, the few times I kind of stuck a toe in I felt overwhelmed by tidal waves of vapid niceness (I’m all in favor of niceness as long as I’m not expected to…. participate…. brrrrrr). And of course most of those wailing about Trump are having a grand old time, he’s gives them a feeling of relevance as they “resist” that Hillary couldn’t).


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            1. Clarissa Avatar
              Clarissa

              I actually miss the vapid FB now that I’ve seen the alternative. I’d rather see kitty photos than witness the unraveling of friends and colleagues. When I see a Ukrainian grandma whose English vocabulary is maybe 15 words repost some idiotic piece about Trump’s concentration camps and comparisons to the Holocaust, I miss the time when she used to post photos of her needlepoint and fat, happy toddlers.

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A conservative literary critic and college professor

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