Small Talk Tricks

Published by

Clarissa

December 9, 2023

You do gain wisdom with age, though. When I was choosing a restaurant for our office Christmas party (which I call exactly that, and screw political correctness), I purposefully chose a pizza parlor located on the first floor of a fancy new apartment building.

Whenever there was a heavy pause and I needed to make small talk, I’d say, “Can you guess how much an apartment in this building costs? $720,000! Isn’t that insane?” Then an animated conversation would ensue, and I’d be left off the hook. I did it with 3 different groups at the event, and it went great.

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9 responses to “Small Talk Tricks”

Avi

December 9, 2023

Why, what is a Christmas party called nowadays in benighted America? Pray tell.

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1. methylethyl
  
  December 9, 2023
  
  We’re not allowed to say “Christmas” because it makes demon-obsessed people uncomfortable. It has the name of Christ in it. For a while it was a “holiday” party, but even that has a bit of a sting in it, as we’re still, in a glancing way, making reference to something holy. It’s only polite– you wouldn’t bring garlic dip to a work party, if half your coworkers were vampires, would you? By now it’s probably been reduced to a “winter” or “end of term” party to keep the unholy screeching and banging noises, and the associated poltergeist activity, down 😉
  
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  1. TomW
    
    December 9, 2023
    
    Holiday party is still the norm where I live. But I’m out in the midwest and we are often a bit behind what’s happening on the coasts.
    
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    1. methylethyl
      
      December 9, 2023
      
      Probably fewer vampires there as well.
      
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  2. cliff arroyo
    
    December 9, 2023
    
    “a “winter” or “end of term” party ”
    
    So glad I blew that joint before it came to that…. I’m not a big Christmas person* but have the honesty to call things by their names….
    
    *weirdly, in childhood my favorite part of the holidays was waking up at three or so in the morning to open gifts (parents had to be quick) but by late teens it became the lag time between Christmas and New Year… a sort of odd but pleasant time in limbo.
    
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    1. methylethyl
      
      December 9, 2023
      
      There is a magnificent post here:
      
      https://oldeuropeanculture.blogspot.com/2014/06/calendar.html
      
      about how people in the ancient world set their calendars, and the lag time between the end of the lunar year, and the beginning of the solar year. It’s that space between the winter solstice and Epiphany, and it is un-time. Time outside time, waiting for the sun. There’s a reason that time of year is different.
      
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      1. Clarissa
        
        December 9, 2023
        
        Thank you for this great link! I love it.
        
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2. Clarissa
  
  December 9, 2023
  
  If I say “Christmas”, it excludes people who don’t celebrate Christmas. Even if I’ve known all my colleagues for 15 years and I know for a fact they all celebrate Christmas.
  
  We can’t exclude anyone. Even an imaginary anyone. Nobody should run the smallest potential risk of being excluded.
  
  It often feels like these rules were invented by people who never got over the middle-school pain of not being included in a game of dodgeball on the playground.
  
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  1. methylethyl
    
    December 9, 2023
    
    So weird though. I don’t feel excluded if people wish me, or anybody else, a happy Reformation Day, or Hanukkah, or Tet, or Ramadan, even though I don’t celebrate any of those. I’ve yet to hear any of the true believers give a good explanation for why Christmas is so especially “excluding” that it must be excluded, but this is not true of any secular holiday, or any holiday belonging to any other religion.
    
    It’s gotta be either witches or vampires. I think you should try sprinkling them with holy water and see if they dissolve.
    
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