I guess I picked up on how everybody in the family felt about it, you know? Russian wasn’t anybody’s native language. I couldn’t point to anybody in the family and say, we speak it because it’s grandma’s language or mom’s or great-grandpa’s. One side of the family spoke Ukrainian. The other spoke Yiddish and Ukrainian. My father spoke English to us. And I don’t mean occasionally. He spoke only English. Which, let me tell you, wasn’t only highly unusual and onerous but quite dangerous in the USSR, especially for a Jew.
And so imagine that all of this is going on, the whole family switched to a language that’s new to them, many family members having trouble speaking it, having to look for words, the most intellectual family member just avoiding it altogether in a very pointed way. And nobody is explaining what happened. Clearly, something happened but nobody wants to say.
And at that very same time, I go to school and we are literally persecuted, even as small kids, with how the Russian language is the most beautiful, the most expressive, the most wonderful, with the richest vocabulary on the planet, and so on and on, all day, every day.
At home there were always stories about the Russian people. That they were dirty, uncultured. The aunt who married a Russian dude could never live it down. It was a bit like marrying a convict, nothing to feel proud of. My grandpa once visited the family of the hapless son-in-law in Russia and we never heard the end of it. The grandpa was a Holodomor survivor, which I didn’t know then. We weren’t allowed even to think this word. But I now know what grandpa was really trying to say with his anecdotes about the semi-savage Russian relatives who had never seen a fork and washed once a month.
So what I’m trying to say is, I’m the first generation on my mother’s side and the second on my father’s to speak Russian, and that happened as a result of horrific things. Some of the worst stuff in history. I didn’t know about it as a child but I knew that something was up.
You can’t escape your language. I spent a lifetime trying and it’s still there. We are not blank slates. The weight of history is upon us, and that’s neither good nor bad. It simply is.
I loved this question, thank you. Always eager to answer deep questions like this one.
Clarissa's Blog 
On a somewhat related note, my education in India was primarily in english. My Berkeley PhD dad decided that talking to me and my brother exclusively in English would confer professional advantages on us down the line, and he wasn’t wrong. But the unfortunate side effect of that was that I never paid any attention to Hindi, never read any Hindi literature, and so on. I was so deracinated that I used to boast about getting bad grades in Hindi at school.
Anyway, I started reading Hindi literature a few years ago and I cannot begin to explain how it feels to read something beautiful in your own language. I’ve missed out on so much. But there’s still time…
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There are centuries of ancestral memory in every one of us. Trying to override it and go in for blank-slatism is a bad idea. Language, especially, is at the center of who we are. I see a lot of children of immigrants who simply don’t have what we’d call a mother tongue. No language and no culture they perceive as their own. I don’t know what result we expect from all this but it’s unlikely to be good.
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“I see a lot of children of immigrants who simply don’t have what we’d call a mother tongue”
Not just children of immigrants but there are tens (more likely hundreds) of millions of people, mostly in former colonies, who have full linguistic competence but spread across two or more languages with no single language for everything.
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I have a question related to this. I read these Hindi novels and I instinctively have an ear for dialogue, I guess because it’s my mother tongue. But now I’m starting to question if I have an ear for english dialogue, even though I’ve been immersed in english since kindergarten, I’m pretty much a native speaker, and have been living in america for 25 years. But whatever I know of, say how Texans speak, is not my own experience (I’ve never lived in Texas), but received experience from consuming other works of english.
So when I read a bad english novel or watch a badly written movie and the dialogue seems clunky, should I trust my instincts?
Do you ever get that feeling?
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“even though I’ve been immersed in english since kindergarten, I’m pretty much a native speaker”
I like to distinguish between what I call 24/7 English speaking areas (UK, US etc) where it’s used for everything and 9 to 5 English speaking areas where it’s mostly restricted to formal education, government and/or business but is not generally preferred as a language of interpersonal relations (India, Philippines, Nigeria etc).
It’s very jarring for me to see characters in an Indian series switch from a local language to English depending on topic of conversation or other clues I’m oblivious to. And the intonation and phraseology is also…. generally opaque.
That said…. I have the same experience with some UK productions where I might understand the words but the social and interpersonal information is only part there…
A long time ago when I knew more Brits they often urged me to watch the sitcom Only Fools and Horses… when I finally watched some…. when I could understand it (not always by any means) I didn’t get what people liked about it or what it was saying about British people (must have been something).
Pluricentric languages (like English) often have the problem that there’s no shared interpersonal expressive aspect. What works in one place doesn’t somewhere else.
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I have the same reaction.
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Germans call it Sprachgefühl, an instinct for a language, a feeling that something does or doesn’t sound right. Not all native speakers have it. I see it in some of my students who don’t understand, for example, why “acute language skills” sounds weird in English. I tell students that the #1 thing translators sell is Sprachgefühl in their own language. I have no doubt that you have it in English. It’s very clear from how you write. I have it in English, Russian, to an extent in Spanish. I definitely don’t have it in Ukrainian.
Language is fascinating. It’s a vehicle of culture, and unless you remake yourself into a person of that culture, you won’t get to the point of Sprachgefühl. But it’s a wonderful feeling to inhabit a language as your own. It’s like nothing else.
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The fall of the USSR in 1991 suggests a huge amount of social unrest and dissatisfaction.
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My latest research:
The PLO in 1988 declares the state of Palestine 24 years after Arab & KGB propaganda embraced the name of Palestine and the UN assumes the right that this terrorist organization’s claim to self determination supersedes the Israeli self determination?
UN 242 based upon Chapter VI and not Chapter VII!!! International bias conceals their interests, alliances, and principles like the puppeteer conceals his control of puppets. So the 140 or more nations who recognize a Palestinian state overrides the Israeli self rule to determine their own national borders. When did Israel become a protectorate mandate territory of the UN?
The PLO declared the State of Palestine on November 15, 1988, in Algeria. This was part of a broader effort to gain international recognition for Palestinian self-determination. In 2012, by the dictate of a plural majority, the UN General Assembly granted Palestine non-member observer state status, and UNSCR 2334 declares this recognition as a Chapter VII decree? Since when do countries who do not even recognize the Jewish state, that they decide the borders of Israel? The UN General Assembly decision by a significant majority of hostile states to the existence of Israel & growing international support for Palestinian statehood, since when does this transfer, according to the ICC, to a Chapter VII UN dictate?
That over 140 countries recognize Palestine as a state, simply does not complicate the dynamics of self-determination claims between Israelis and Palestinians, since that Israel exists as an Independent nation and Palestine exists only as a comic book State!
The PLO’s declaration of a Palestinian state in 1988, this propaganda strategic move to assert Palestinian identity and rights on the international stage does not amount to squat. The 2012 decision by a rogue majority of General Assembly votes to grant Palestine non-member observer state status raise serious questions of UN corruption concerning its legitimacy and effectiveness. Resolution 2334 makes the pretence that Israeli settlements condemned as illegal. Obozo the Clown in the White House, pathetic shoe-shine boy, since when did Chapter VI switch to Chapter VII?
The recognition of Palestine by numerous countries does not automatically transfer sovereign rights or determine borders, especially in light of Israel’s established statehood and international recognition. The characterization of Palestine as a “comic book state” reflects a viewpoint that questions its legitimacy and ability to function as a sovereign entity. This contrasts sharply with Israel’s established status as a recognized nation-state.
The UN General Assembly decision of 2012 reflects deep political biases against the Jewish state, rather than a fair assessment of statehood. None of the hostile UN Resolutions 242, 338, 446, 2334 etc etc etc qualify as Chapter VII condemnations of Israel. Hence they amount to the PLO self declaration of the Palestinian comic book state. The recognition of Palestine by over 140 countries does not equate to sovereignty or the ability to unilaterally determine borders, especially given Israel’s established status as a state. International geopolitical interests do not mean squat in matters of the determination of international law without any signed treaties to back them up!
The Israeli-Balestinian conflict in point of fact really quite moronic simple. This conflict exposes shallow rooted revisionist history political and legal non sense. The so-called international community of nations which vote in the UN farce do not represent valid concerns or grievances concerning the Arab defeats in the 1948 and 1967 Wars!
The UN’s biased involvement, particularly through its anti-Israel resolutions and the General Assembly’s decisions, a subject of criticism and scrutiny. The distinction between Chapters VI and VII simply crucial, as it highlights the UN’s false approach to conflict resolution. While UN political rhetoric declares that it favors negotiation and diplomacy over direct enforcement. By flagrant contrast the UN and ICC rulings pretend they have jurisdiction over Israel and that they can dictate what Israel must do.
The recognition of Palestine by over 140 countries while a significant development, it does not override Israel’s right to self-determination or its established statehood. The international community’s recognition of Palestine exposes hostile foreign states imperialism which seeks to impose a divide and rule unilateral international acknowledgement of Palestinian aspirations and rights, a direct challenge to Israel’s sovereignty.
The recognition of Balestine as a comic book country by over 140 countries does not in fact equate to actual sovereignty or the ability to determine borders. This distinction utterly crucial, particularly given Israel’s recognized status as a sovereign state.
International biases in the UN obscure true interests and alliances of foreign hostile States such as the EU, Russia, and even the US. Suggesting that geopolitical attempts as a forced conversion of Jews unto despised political pawns of the great powers, seeks overshadow legitimate legal rights of the Jewish State who won the 1948 and 1967 wars.
This perspective emphasizes skepticism towards the motivations behind virtually all UN anti-Israel condemnations. The PLO’s declaration of a Palestinian state in 1988, only symbolic. It does not negate Israel’s self-determination or established statehood. The UN General Assembly’s recognition of Palestine as a non-member observer state in 2012, merely a political act that does not change the legal status of either Israel or Balestine. The upgrade of Balestine’s status to a non-member observer state in the UN General Assembly in 2012, simply not equivalent to a Chapter VII decree. As it does not impose enforcement measures on Israel.
The UN General Assembly’s decision in 2012 reflects political biases against Israel, but it does not change the legal status of Israel or Balestine – the imaginary comic-book country. The resolutions passed by the UN General Assembly, while subject to criticism and scrutiny, do not qualify as Chapter VII condemnations of Israel. International geopolitical interests do not automatically translate into valid legal claims or the determination of international law supported by signed Treaties agreed upon by allies.
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This is very insightful and interesting.
Are you planning to teach your child Russian? What language do you speak at home?
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We speak English to Klara. She adamantly refused any attempt to teach her any other language. Here’s when I realized that she was not interested in any immigrant language:
I respect it because I know that children of immigrants want to belong and trying to engineer in them an interest in the parents’ culture is a waste of time.
N and I speak Russian to each other, and this is how we have hidden our political opinions from our kid. 🙂 She never heard the words “COVID, BLM, Trump, or Putin” from us.
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My kids are starting Russian classes next week. This all strikes me as deeply funny.
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My mother spoke Ukrainian until she went school where she had to learn; that was the rule in Alberta at the time. She spent much of her life suppressing her Ukrainian background, marrying outside her ethnic group to someone whose family arrived in Canada prior to Confederation. We spoke only English at home – we were Canadian.
An interesting factoid, when my mother lay dying in the cardiac ward, one of the nurses was Ukrainian gal who spoke Ukrainian to my mother in her last days. It was a great comfort to my mum.
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My father was speaking English to imaginary listeners in the last days of his life. My mother was there but she doesn’t understand the language, so she doesn’t know what he was saying. Now we’ll never know.
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It seems weird for people to think of their colonizers as inferiors. Considering yourself to have been colonized by the ubermensch at least serves to justify the traditional social order.
https://www.teslarati.com/elon-musk-south-africa-president-ramaphosa-starlink/
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Everybody thinks of their colonizers as inferior. Or forget colonizers. Everybody considers others to be inferior. It’s a normal human reaction. 🙂
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I dunno. I mean, my ancestors were colonized by the Romans, and I wouldn’t consider them to be inferior.
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It’s easy not to now that they perished 1,500 years ago. But I’m sure that contemporaries despised them with all they had.
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Probably, but I think ancient history generally amounts to about two generations.
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