Emotional processing happens on a scale. Its extremes are unhealthy while the mid-range state is optimal.
“I feel everything and then some” and “I feel nothing” are equally unhealthy. A permanently overheated emotional state is as bad as a permanently frozen one. People in the two extremes often take a moralistic position vis-à-vis each other, but they are equally unhealthy.
People who exist in the state of a permanent emotional dysregulation tend to present it to others as a particular kind of sensitivity that makes them special and unique. Those who are dissociated advertise themselves as particularly stoic and strong. Both use their dysfunction as a cudgel to beat those around them into servicing and feeding their unhealthy state.
Clarissa's Blog 
I have emotional dysregulation on the stoic side, it’s a side effect of having a mother and a younger brother with autism who have emotional dysregulation on the opposite side. My mother is very emotional and will fly off the handle and scream at anything, growing up I kept hearing her scream about killing someone because something wasn’t clean enough or something went wrong a little. My brother has meltdowns where he’ll scream every obscene word in English and Spanish after someone beat him in an online game or insulted him online, sometimes he’ll break stuff too.
That’s why my older brother and I are stoics who drink, we associate emotions with meltdowns and screaming and overreactions. This is why I don’t trust strong emotions and don’t believe in love in relationships, I grew up with my mother screaming at us and her loser second husband and our brother having meltdowns. Both of us are stoics who drink, read lots of nonfiction and don’t date
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I’m exactly like that and for the same reason. My mother is emotionally chaotic and I shut down when people start freaking out around me. And absolutely this kind of environment leads to drinking problems because people can’t feel anything otherwise.
Totally with you on this one.
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A lot think it’s weird that as a woman I’m so stoic and that I drink, not fruity drinks or wine spritzers but actual liquor. Men are supposed to be like that, women are supposed to be emotional. It sucks to have parents who are emotionally chaotic and my brother having meltdowns makes it worse. Just last week he had a meltdown after someone online called him a “Trumptard” and he screamed at the computer, she started screaming at him for having a meltdown and she got mad at me because I went to pour myself some vodka, my nerves were shot and I needed something. She doesn’t think women should drink liquor because it’s not “nice”, but she doesn’t bother my older brother for drinking. At least stoics don’t drive other people nuts
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