I committed irregularities to save a colleague’s job. She’s contingent, not on the tenure track, and this is the first stable job she’s had in forever. I really wanted her to have this job because it carries excellent benefits, there’s possibility of promotion, and it’s full-time, unlike the patchwork of crappy part-time gigs she had previously.
I’m saying this openly because all the irregularities I committed were done with the full knowledge and approval of the Dean and the Provost. So that you understand the nature of the irregularities, one of them was the course I taught this summer outside of my discipline. I didn’t do it like it’s supposed to be done according to the official course description. Mind you, I didn’t get paid anything, got no course releases, got nothing at all for teaching it. From my sick bed while wriggling with pain I taught it solely to keep the program alive and save the colleague’s job. These were the irregularities. I did things that I don’t have to for free.
The problem is that this colleague didn’t believe I’m doing all this for free. She thought I was robbing her in some way. I talked to her many times. I explained that I’m not getting compensated in any form. But she clearly didn’t believe me and complained to the union.
Now I’m in trouble but that’s OK. I know I broke the rules and I’m willing to live with the consequences of my actions. That’s not the issue. The reason why I’m really upset is that there’s no possibility of keeping the program alive and keeping this colleague hired if I can’t continue bending these rules. She destroyed her own chance of employment and a stable career until retirement. If she trusted me, she’d be fine. This is weighing heavily on me. That people can just self-sabotage like this. I pray for serenity but it doesn’t come.
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