Don’t Leak

The Chancellor called the police to remove the union members who came to protest at his budget talk with small, hand painted signs. The signs were not threatening or insulting but they did make a gentle pun on his last name. I’ll link but I don’t promise the article wouldn’t be censored again.

This shows that he’s a very inexperienced administrator who is not ready for this role. A person who is fit to lead would have addressed the content of the signs with good humor and sweetness. He’d say, “guys, great pun. My own favorite pun on my last name is this…” That would have been more productive for him than turning protesters into martyrs.

Today, we had another, much larger protest, and many more people came with this exact sign. Because they now know that it gets to him.

Forget about my university and this particular Chancellor. The point is that if you want to have an impact, you can’t leak. You can’t leak emotionally. Practice, meditate, imagine that you are surrounding yourselves with high walls that conceal you from view.

If you are a teacher, an administration, or a supervisor of any kind, you cannot respond to people under your command emotionally. You lose all authority by doing that. Even to direct insults you can only respond with motherly or fatherly kindness. And it has to be completely genuine. People experience high levels of anxiety around a teacher or boss who comes off as uncertain and emotionally incontinent. They act out more because of this anxiety.

Also, one more important trick. If somebody sends you long, ranting complaints, never respond to them with more than three sentences.

Sentence 1 should be: Dear ABC, thank you for communicating your concerns / wishes / ideas.

Sentence 2: Unfortunately, I will not be able to implement these suggestions. (Or whatever is appropriate to the situation).

Sentence 3: I propose that you…. And briefly outline what you propose. Briefly being the operative word.

The most loserish thing you can do is to start writing a point-by-point rebuttal of the complaint, bickering over details. Or give explanations of why you do things you consider necessary. Whoever explains, loses. Forget the word “because.” “Because” will be your downfall as a figure of authority. 

I have talked down such a number of problem students, colleagues, and administrators over the years that I am absolutely certain that this is the only way. And you know what? The administrator with whom I had the most ferocious public confrontations (during COVID it was) later told me privately that he really respected how I never gave any reasons and was always very secure in my conviction of what I was doing. Since then, we became great allies on a different cause while still despising each other’s position on COVID. And I now see him imitate my “no, I will not be doing this, thank you” in our current struggle which is kind of really cute.