Best Worst Student

I’m the best worst student known to humanity. The Dean made us read a book of neoliberal propaganda and hold a two-hour discussion of it.

Obviously, I didn’t even consider opening the book, let alone reading it. But I easily made the impression of having perused it with great care and attention. During the discussion, I’d crack the book open, catch a random sentence, and then say, “what I found especially provocative / curious / engaging, etc is” and reproduce the random sentence verbatim.