I don’t know from BPD but this is literally every female student in the past 20 years:
“How do you think it made me feel when I saw that you corrected 16 mistakes in my composition? It’s like you are saying I’m a horrible person.”
I don’t know what causes this extreme touchiness but I do believe that people put it on because they think it’s cute and then it becomes second nature.
Then we end up with the idea of hurty words being equal to violence, and the rest we all know.
That’s how a 5-year old behaves – extreme touchiness at any correction or criticism, especially coming from a parent. It takes a lot of love, patience and a lot of praise to overcome that. I think that eventually a child grows up and realizes that someone telling them to do something differently does not equal rejection. It’s like some of these adult people are perpetually stuck in that stage where everything they do is perfect and any criticism is equal to a lack of love from a parent figure.
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BPD, clinically, is highly correlated with abandonment by one or more parent figures between the ages of about 3 and 5. Basically arrested development in the preschool stage, complete with tantrums, short time horizons, extreme emotional volatility.
emphatically not cute. And they tend to abandon their own kids, or worse, cut their kids’ dads out of their lives and then raise them without any buffering adult. Which leads to high rates of BPD in their offspring. Yay self-perpetuating problems.
If the main theory is right, and this is caused by parental abandonment or abuse leading to arrested development at about age 4… then the increase in divorce, family breakup, single parenthood, and the lack of family formation at all, would tend to lead to a huge increase in this.
In a just world, it’d be self-limiting because these people can’t form functional relationships. Sadly, short of physical infertility, they almost always have kids, because of the consistently poor decision-making. It’s a generational contagion.
-ethyl
Yeah, contrary to the feminist nonsensical social workers of the 70’s openly supporting no-fault divorce, there were and are often consequences for the children — almost like PTSD. And yes, it can run for generations.
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TLP has written insightful articles about it.
https://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2007/01/borderline.html
The borderline is no one: the borderline waits for the script to define her.
Her? Yes. Narcissists are mostly hes, and borderlines hers. (Not always, sure.)
The classic description includes: intense, unstable relationships; emotional lability; fear of abandonment. The borderline has no true sense of self.
Ironically, the borderline is a borderline only in relationship to other people. The borderline has a problem with identity only because other people in the world have stronger identities. Your Dad wants you to be one way, so you do it. Your boyfriend wants a different woman; so you do it. Your husband wants something else; so you do it. Who the hell are you, really? You have no idea, because you are always molding yourself based on the dominant personality in your life.
This si done mostly out of fear of abandonment: if you don’t “be” the person they want, then they’ll leave you, and then what? (Borderlines don’t end relationships– they end relationships for another relationship.)
The narcissist creates an identity, then tries to force everyone else to buy into it. The borderline waits to meet someone, and then constructs a personality suitable to that person.
https://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2012/01/penelope_trunk_abuser.html
The thing is, BPD “works” when you are young, there are always people around to tolerate it. Parents, boyfriend/girlfriend, employers, etc– and being pretty, which Trunk obviously is, helps a lot. This doesn’t mean people are necessarily nice to her, or that she’s happy; only that “crazy” behavior is more tolerable to other people when you are young.
The problem for her is she’s not getting any younger, and like it or not the only one who will put up with a 60 year old borderline is no one. Except maybe the kids, which we will get back to.
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LOL, Kid, are you suggesting that guys are easy ;-D
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