My 5-year-old used to fight me EVERY NIGHT about brushing teeth.
“No! I don’t want to!”
“You have to!”
Meltdown. Tears. Exhausting.
Then I changed one thing:
Instead of “Go brush your teeth,” I said:
“Do you want to brush teeth before or after pajamas?”
He thought about it. “After.”
Done. No fight. Teeth got brushed.
This is an excellent parenting hack. I’ve been using it since Klara was first learning to walk, and it works great. Kids want to make their own decisions. They want to show initiative and be responsible for themselves. This is a great thing and must be encouraged.
Klara has been choosing what to wear since she was in onesies. Of course, she was choosing between the two onesies that I curated based on weather conditions. These days she dresses herself, and we have zero struggles over “don’t forget the scarf and the gloves” because she’s long been responsible for her own attire.
Give them a choice and respect it, even if it’s weird. Klara brushes her teeth after breakfast. I don’t get it because I brush mine immediately after getting up and love it. But I’ve accepted that everybody is different and instilling initiative is much more important than insisting that my way of doing things is optimal.
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