I’m heaving with laughter here, my friends. The whole thing is priceless. Until you remember that some unfortunate people will try to follow this advice.
OK, now I’m heaving again. Look at the boy’s eager, happy face when listening to the sales pitch. He’s waited for it his whole life.
I know, it’s completely real.
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People often ask me what is my secret to raising my children, I tell them I’m wearing it around my waist. That was pretty much how all children were raised before the 1980’s. No Ritalin, no therapy.
Walnut
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They could also get rid of the couch. No couch, no jumping. 100% effective unlike the advice…
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saying stop over and over doesn’t seem to work. Hitting with belt also not great. So what’s the “right way”?
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“Nope, there is NO jumping on the furniture” said firmly *while you are removing the offender from the furniture*
Beyond that, it depends a lot on the kid. There are no approaches that work for every kid. You have to adapt for each child. The repeating doesn’t work for *any* kids. That’s just conditioning your child to ignore you because you don’t mean it and there are no consequences. The “let’s talk about it” works for a tiny minority of extremely emotionally sensitive children, and even then: the mom in the illustration is *talking way too much*. With the jumping-on-furniture age group, keeping instructions as brief and clear as possible is key.
getting rid of the couch also works.
ethyl
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It’s crucial that a child take the parent’s “no” very seriously. It can lead to actual dangerous situations if the kid doesn’t. This is why a “no” should be infrequent and final. No debate, no delay. A no ends the conversation. This means it shouldn’t be proffered for trivial reasons. If everything is a no that kind of mutates into a yes, then nothing is a no.
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The kid is jumping because he needs physical activity. If you don’t like the activity he chose, provide another. Take him to the playground, offer to play basketball in the driveway. Ask yourself why he shouldn’t be jumping on the couch if you aren’t offering alternatives.
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” unfortunate people will try to follow this advice”
I can imagine the only way the second works is if the kid doesn’t like being preached at…. like kids who beg for spankings rather lectures.
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A conservative literary critic and college professor
Clarissa's Blog 
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