So. It turns out there actually were pedophiles at Comet Ping Pong.

Even the craziest conspiracy theories are built on something that’s real. 

I think I’m suffering from teaching burnout. Even though I only finished a year-long break from teaching a couple of months ago, I still feel no enthusiasm for it. The mastery is there but the joy isn’t. I’m going through the motions and mostly just faking it.

My explanation is that my research has really taken off recently and it’s occupying my mind a lot. And since I can’t bring my research to my teaching, I’m bored. I tried but there is zero interest.

I don’t know, maybe there is some sort of a teacher motivation seminar or whatever. ‘Cause I’m getting on my own nerves with this shit.

I only just now found the presence of mind to read the sympathy card students had signed for me after Eric’s death. Only took me 3 years 3 months and 2 days. And. . . I wish I hadn’t read it. Two of the signers wrote something like “I know this must be hard [seriously? you are sure you do know?] but [so not a good word to use when expressing condolences] God has a plan for everything, blah blah.”

It’s one thing to say something like that who is a very close friend and you know for an absolute fact they will welcome it. But in any other situation, it’s beyond condescending and dismissive.

I’m not writing this to be bitchy 3 years after the fact but to point out that “I’m so very sorry for your loss” is much better than yes-butting somebody else’s grief or dismissing it because of the religious beliefs people might or might not share.

My voice is very loud as it is (it’s called the teacher’s pitch), and now that I’m all stuffed up and don’t hear a whole lot, I scream like a banshee. And I only realize what I’m doing when I see students give me scared looks.

When Klara hears me talk, she looks around to see where the weird, unfamiliar voice is coming from. It’s very disturbing.

Our HR department is hosting a lecture on “how to deal with holiday stresses.” I’d rather they offered a workshop on how to deal with the stress of having a useless HR department. Holidays we’ll handle just fine.

The new cashier at the local café just mocked my accent. It’s probably not even as much the accent that’s making me sound funny but the fact that I’m all stuffed up. But she actually mocked me to my face. 

By the way, the café’s owner is a great admirer of mine. I’m obviously not going to complain, especially since the cashier’s rudeness brought back fond memories of Quebec. But people need to be more careful with whom they mock.

“The greatest hypocrites are those who advocate open borders: secretly, they know very well this will never happen. They play the Beautiful Soul, which feels superior to the corrupted world while secretly participating in it: they need this corrupted world as the only terrain where they can exert their moral superiority.”

That’s from the most recent Zizek. It’s good to see he hasn’t lost it.

The Gilmore Girls sequel sucks because it’s so realistic. But it’s not all bad. The last 3 words of the sequel save it and, while still realistic, make it hopeful.

Will you watch it now? 

People, I love you, but I’m very sick and can’t answer any comments. I can post but I can’t respond to anything because my head is too heavy for anything but a monologue. Please keep leaving comments and I’ll respond to them when I feel better. Which needs to happen soon because tomorrow is the last day of class and I have tons of stuff to do.