The Angel in the House is the famous model of 19th century femininity that positioned a woman as angelically self-sacrificing and completely dedicated to the needs of her family members. The Angel always smiled, never complained, and lived for the sake of her husband and children. She could never allow herself to criticize the husband because her submission to him was supposed to be complete.
Today, many women believe that the greatest goal of feminism was to turn them from Angels in the House into Angels Outside the House. They enact exactly the same kind of self-sacrificing, never complaining, completely submissive femininity and believe that, by virtue of having a job and making money, they have achieved a qualitatively different state of being than their 19th – century sisters. And of course, they feel great resentment because combining the roles of a graceful domestic angel with no needs of her own and of a breadwinner is a pretty lousy gig.
Examples of this resentment abound. The most recent one I’ve seen is an article titled “Having It All Kinda Sucks.” The article’s author rants and raves about feminism that, as she believes, made her life completely sucky. She had a baby a month ago and has worked every day since delivery because money is needed to keep her husband’s business afloat. As she runs around, popping stitches, working and trying to take care of the baby, the worthless gigolo of the husband appears in the kitchen to inquire what the plan is for dinner. After which, the woman drops everything and, without any objection, rushes to fix him dinner.
Of course, if such a fellow surfaced in my general vicinity, he’d soon know that the plan for dinner is to rip out his liver and feed it to coyotes. But that’s because I understand that the goal of feminism is not to give jobs to Stepford wives but to recognize women as fully human, valuable and important. The ecstatic tales of “look how I sacrifice my every need to those of my family” are not about feminism, irrespective of whether the person sharing them receives a paycheck or not.