1. I discovered that, to my great shock, I no longer detest Sinatra. I actually preferred his music to Pitbull’s last night. That must mean I’m now very old.

2. I also discovered that I can still party until 6 am, which must mean I’m still quite young.

3. Although both N and I dance really well separately, we can’t dance together to save our lives. He constantly tries to lead! And what are the chances of that working with me? Curiously, we’ve never had any power struggles in other aspects of our lives. I mean, we’ve had tons of struggles because ours is a very intense relationship but never as to who’ll lead.

4. The New Year’s address by Ukraine’s president Poroshenko was a lot more festive and optimistic than last year’s. This is understandable given that last year he was addressing the nation (and supportive immigrants) in the midst of very intense hostilities at the front. This year, although the war with Russia is not over, there was major positive news (and visa-free travel regime with the EU! a free trade zone!) to report.

5. The Russian New Year’s concert was a lot less opulent than usual. Compared to what the Russians usually put on, this year’s show was downright beggarly. And the reason why we couldn’t watch the Ukrainian show instead is that our immigrant TV subscription service doesn’t transmit Ukrainian programming live. Which is a huge oversight.

6. I manage to buy books even in the midst of New Year’s festivities. (Thank you, the beautiful people who gave me Amazon gift cards!) Next year, I will not be doing any academic writing but I hope to get a bit of reading done instead.

7. N can’t have TV playing in the background. If there is TV on, he’ll have to watch it and won’t be able to talk. I’m the exact opposite in this and many other ways, and that makes us fascinating to each other.

8. I’ve done something to my brain that makes me no longer capable of enjoying mystery novels. I read the most recent installments by my formerly favorite Lisa Gardner and Michael Connelly (finished last night) and was hugely bored.

Happy New Year and let’s all have as much fun in 2016 as we can.

Happy New Year!

Please notice the “Birch Tree Salad” in the foreground. It doesn’t contain any birch but it is decorated in a way that will quietly bug the Russian person among us because birch trees are the corniest Russian stereotype:

And the New Year’s tree:

2015 was a fantastic year for me. Let’s hope 2016 will be even better because it’s looking like it will have to be. 🙂

Happy New Year, everybody!

Germans have now started mass deportations of refugees from the Balkans many of whom have been in the country for years. The refugees are rounded up during the night and dragged to the train stations.

Deportations are not only cruel but massively disruptive for the communities where the undocumented immigrants reside. The longer people stay in a country, the more enmeshed their interests become with those of citizens. They have a lease, a bank account, there is a group of people who count on their professional services, on the daily cup of coffee they buy from them, their companionship, their capacity to return the money they borrowed, etc.

When N was about to be deported, I was far from being the only person who was going to mind. He’s probably the biggest hermit in the world, and still the idea that he’d just disappear overnight was unwelcome to many people who’d come to depend on him being here. When people move of their own will, they round things out, make arrangements to make things less painful for those who are staying. But with deportation, even if you are given the proverbial 2 weeks (which the refugees from the Balkans are not), that’s not enough to soften the blow.

The point I’m making is that the popular fantasy of deporting 11 million people from the US will be a disaster for all of us, not just them. People get enmeshed as they live next to each other. And tearing them apart hurts all of them, not just the ones dragged away.

N and I went out for breakfast today and ordered the saddest, healthiest, pathetically virtuous meals.

“Wow, you guys are really into healthy living. I admire that,” the waitress said.

Little does she know that the sudden attack of culinary virtue is nothing but preparation for a massive pig-out on the world’s unhealthiest Soviet food tonight.

In case you haven’t read this poem by Jonathan Reed before:

I am part of a lost generation
and I refuse to believe that
I can change the world
I realize this may be a shock but
“Happiness comes from within”
is a lie, and
“Money will make me happy.”
So in 30 years I will tell my child
she is not the most important thing in my life
My employer will know that
I have my priorities straight because
work
is more important than
family
I tell you this
I will live in a country of my own making
In the future
Environmental destruction will be the norm
No longer can it be said that
My peers and I care about this earth
It will be evident that
My generation is apathetic and lethargic
It is foolish to presume that
There is hope.

And now read it backwards line by line. Ultimately, everybody chooses if they are version A or version B. In the New Year, let’s make the resolution to read the poem backwards more often than not.

So this Bill Cosby fellow has been arrested. I never saw him perform and have zero interest in him but the story attracts my attention because it reminds me that I’m very culturally different. When I read the linked article, it’s like it is written in a language I don’t speak.

I understand that definitions are a matter of cultural consensus but I can’t get myself to a place where rape can be defined as taking unidentified pills, chasing them with booze and then relinquishing responsibility for the consequences. This is a consensus that I can’t access on the level of either logic or feeling. And I haven’t even considered doubting the alleged victim’s story. I believe everything she says (except for the part where Cosby is a narcissist for not reading the “clues” that she’s gay.)

This is one more reason why nobody should ever involve me in prosecuting campus sexual assault.

Select the mailbox that appeals to you the most, note the number under the picture, and see the answer under the fold. Have fun!

Continue reading “Your Professional Persona: A Test” →

Imagine you need to carry a heavy sack of flour. When you first grab it and start carrying, it’s not that bad because you still have a lot of energy. You might not even mind the sack a whole lot at the beginning. It might even be an invigorating, challenging experience that is not unpleasant.

Gradually, though, your back begins to hurt, your energy starts to run out, you lose breath, the straps rub your back raw, and here you begin to notice the sack. A few miles later, the sack begins to make it very hard for you to walk. It’s the same sack as before but you no longer have the strength to carry it as well.

Psychological problems function like this sack of flour. They hit people especially badly when their bodies are weakened. The infamous midlife crisis, for instance, is such a time. The body is weakened by the hormonal storm it experiences and can no longer keep the problems inside. So people act out in weird ways. But the problems have been there this entire time. We often ask ourselves, “God, what’s happened to him? He’s like a different person now that the midlife crisis hit.” But he’s not a different person. He’s simply no longer managing to hide who he really is behind the socially acceptable behaviors. The poor fellow has been carrying this sack of flour for decades and can no longer pretend that it isn’t there.

This is why it’s important to start tossing things out of the sack as we age. What was easy to carry 10 years ago, might prove an impossible burden in a few years. It’s also crucial not to fixate on the current moment in time when trying to figure out what you are feeling and why. Often people wonder, “Why do I feel so shitty? My life has never been as comfortable and as secure as now, yet I’m exhausted, sad, depressed, nothing makes me happy.” The reason for the misery lies in the things one put in the sack decades ago but one is so used to the sack that it doesn’t even occur to one to look and see what’s inside.

This is the last long quote for today, I promise, but it’s really great and the whole post is great, and I want to have it here:

I have realized of late that reading articles on social media, etc., about microaggressions, trigger warnings, how terrible academia is, the doom and gloom in America, helicopter parenting, coddling the middle class, taxing (or not) the middle class, defining the middle class by income, the economy, victimization, activism, etc., etc., has made me one uptight, unhappy, constantly stressed out person. It occurred to me today that I could just walk away from all that. I don’t have to read about the imminent apocalypse, and/or the secular equivalents, every. single. day.

I wasn’t going to make any New Year’s resolutions this year but the quoted blogger suggested such a great resolution that I will adopt it. I’m really tired of the masturbatory gloominess and showy self-flagellation of the folks who only too often pass for Liberals. They obviously derive tons of pleasure from all the apocalyptic melodrama but for any person with at least a degree of psychological health they are poisonous.

I say, let them unload their shit onto somebody who is not me. And that’s my resolution.

People who are intelligent enough to handle it will still use a keyboard and a real computer and thus be vastly more productive than those who never learn to do so. Hell, it’s already happening. I see interns come in already who can barely use a computer and they are pretty hobbled compared to those who can. And slow and unproductive. And no, they can’t and never will be able to get their work done on a cell phone.

Absolutely. Many people are lured into believing that apps can do everything a computer can and never acquire crucial computer skills. They go around brandishing their smartphones and tablets and have no idea why, in spite of all the productivity apps, they never seem to catch up. It’s especially sad to see young people get caught up in this self-defeating mentality.