Uber is now sending me emails calling me a Londoner and warning me about a tube strike.

Now I will be forced to use Uber in North America to let it know I’m not really a Londoner. So if you see me using Uber – it’s totally not my fault.

P. S. Just one cup of coffee heavily diluted with milk, and I’m posting like crazy. And I’ve done all of my scheduled work for today. I’m getting so, I’m about to do housework. And that’s really creepy.

I always find it quite complicated to fall asleep. When I see people who close their eyes and just fall asleep instead of laying there for at least an hour telling themselves stories, I feel totally weirded out. You are considered to have a sleep disorder if you can’t fall asleep within 7 minutes of going to bed. According to this standard, I have a disorder times ten.

There are, however, things that put even an inveterate insomniac like me to sleep in an instant. One such thing is the expression “Hillary ‘ s emails.” I’m now afraid of listening to the radio on the highway because I know I’ll doze off if somebody mentions the blasted emails.

Spain’s best-selling writer Elvira Lindo published an article in the leading newspaper El País that is titled “El idiota” (“The Idiot”) and illustrated with the photo of Donald Trump.

Lindo points out that Hillary Clinton must be ecstatic because Trump is carrying her straight to the presidency. I have to agree that he’s the best thing that ever happened to her. 

On the other hand, what a shame on all of us who happen to live here. What an absolute shame. And please don’t start with “We don’t care what others think of us” because that’s a sign of sociopathy and nothing to be proud of either.

I haven’t had any coffee for years.

OK, for two weeks. But it’s the same thing.

And today I broke down and had some.

This is what paradise tastes like.

Antidepressant medication, autism epidemic, brainwashing, bystander apathy, chemical imbalance, hypnotic trance, hard-wired, lie detector test, steep learning curve, personality type, mind-body therapies, acting out (in the sense of disruptive behavior) – these are meaningless, silly words and expressions that intelligent people should not use.

And I want to point out that I’ve been begging people not to use several of them for years. Verbal carelessness is a sign of a sloppy, undisciplined mind.

The Russian government is considering a ban on importing condoms.

“This measure will help our country solve our demographic problems,” said the high-ranking official who announced the measure. “It’s time for our people to be more careful when choosing their partners. Condoms don’t have anything to do with health, anyway.”

Greece is constantly on the news, yet nobody seems to give a toss about the financial disaster of Puerto Rico. It’s funny how all of the North American believers in endless bailouts for Greece (which somebody else should be paying, obviously) are not lining up to offer a bailout to the much closer Puerto Rico.

Have you, folks, seen this creepy commercial about cute little toddlers who are doomed to spend their life with Windows 10? I feel bad for the poor kids already.

Author: Cristina Fernandez Cubas
Title: Habitacion de Nona
Year: 2015
Country: Spain
My rating: 7 out of 10

Fernandez Cubas is a Spanish writer who writes short stories with a touch of uncanniness to them. If you are a learner or a teacher of Spanish, I recommend this short story collection.

This writer is great when she writes about adolescence and old age. Her stories tend to exist outside of history and politics but they are very touching none the less. Some stories are very short, others are longer. They can be used all kinds of ways in Spanish language classes.

One of the greatest mistakes I ever made in my life was learning to cook so well. My food is irresistible, so I don’t resist.

Well, at least I never learned to clean.