Clarissa's Blog

The problem in my current project is that the three volumes of Chirbes’s diaries are thick and heavy. I work in different places, such as:

– my office on campus
– my bedroom
– the library
– the other library
– a coffee shop
– and so on

I have to lug these volumes everywhere because I need all three at all times when I’m writing. I read gladly on Kindle, but for work, I need paper books. I can’t imagine having to find my way around the digital versions. Every scholar I’ve talked to agrees very enthusiastically that it’s impossible to work with digital copies. There is something in the structure of the human brain that requires a physical book you can touch and leaf through.

For the longest time, I thought that people who patronize this place are insane. It sells pickled cucumbers steeped in Kool-Aid or jam. I once accepted a sample while queuing up for another stall. One lick of a pickled cucumber smothered in maraschino cherry goo almost sent me into a hyperglycemic coma. To say that it tastes bad is like saying that the sun is warm. I’m from the USSR. I have tasted the most bizarre gastronomic concoctions. Plus, I adore pickles. But that candied pickle was atrocious beyond my scariest imaginings.

Finally, after a random YouTube segment, I figured out this place’s mystery. It’s an African-American tradition, a cultural thing. Twenty-eight years in North America, and nobody bothered to explain. Far be it from me to criticize anybody’s culinary traditions given that I’ve seen people look in horror at the Soviet-style buckwheat we chomp up like it’s nobody’s business. But I would have appreciated a hint.

Speaking of culture-specific foodstuffs, today I bought five 1 lb tubs of this:

I would have gotten more, but that’s all they had. People of my cultural background are dedicated to this thing. I had it for dinner today with plain kefir and cinnamon. We use it to make pies or quiche sort of dishes. A Kool-Aid pickle it isn’t, but it’s an example of a culture-specific food.

People are clueless. The pro-life ethicist in question is as unhirable as a mega-feminist, one who believes in abortion until kindergarten. Nobody’s getting hired. Gender studies programs died a very long time ago. This is a war over the gnawed-down bones of a long-expired dinosaur. None of this is remotely relevant to what is actually happening in higher education.

The idea that anybody cares about anybody’s opinion at this point is so quaint as to border on deranged. If we get permission to hire, we receive it so late that all we can squeeze into the search process is one rushed conversation with a candidate. In the humanities, and especially in gender studies, there are no tenure-track jobs. There are not even instructorships. We’re talking about lecturer positions for which universities almost invariably conduct hiring without a formal interview. Neither lecturers nor instructors are expected to conduct research, so their opinions do not come into play at any point during hiring.

I’ve been hiring for six years. The idea that I would have time or interest to inquire about any candidate’s opinions on any subject is downright outlandish.

I can imagine approaching the person who heads our gender studies program. She is, of course, untenured and directs this program as a sort of a volunteer gig on the side. If I were to address her with a sentence starting with the words “In your hiring process,” she would think I’m experiencing a severe neurological event. She has less likelihood of ever getting to hire anybody than I do of walking on the Moon.

Numbers 2 and 3 on this list are coquettishness. “Looking for a relationship” sounds needy and sad. Everybody wants to pretend they aren’t even looking because one is in such high demand that one doesn’t need to look.

Number 1 is concerning, and the people to blame are the moms. Where do young women observe married mothers? First and foremost, at home and in the lives of their friends. It has become fashionable to assume the put-upon, perennially aggrieved and overburdened persona if you are a married mother. I hang out with literally zero married mothers because even though I understand and they understand that it’s all a performance, I can’t take the constant self-pity and negativity.

Number 4 on the list is, in my very strong opinion, entirely down to men. Young women aren’t dating anybody seriously because nobody is offering. I once again strongly recommend Jem Calder’s novel I Want You To Be Happy for a detailed portrayal of what that looks like.

I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating. What is causing the problem is our shared, utterly misguided understanding of happiness and freedom. We are confusing these young people and leading them to loneliness and misery.

The World Cup is the apotheosis of the nation-state. Of course, so is the American Super Bowl. I stayed up last night reading Argentinians’ tributes to Messi. People were brimming with pride for their country. “I’m so grateful to be Argentinian,” they said. It’s the national flags, the anthems, the exultation of the imaginary community of the nation that suddenly becomes not so imaginary when people recognize each other because of their team shirts, even in faraway lands.

There has been a lot of moaning among right-wingers over the success of Christopher Nolan’s new movie. “We lost the culture,” they weep even though that part of culture was always extremely left-wing. Whatever a Hollywood movie from seventy years ago might seem today, back when it was created, it was very progressivist. The acting profession never led people to highly moral, traditionalist behaviors because of its very nature.

So forget movies. We never have and never will dominate movies. We will never dominate gangsta rap either, and it’s time to make peace with that. I can’t even say that this is bad news because it’s not news at all.

In the absence of bad news, there is good news, which is that the nation-state is very much alive.

In the same weekend, we saw the highest manifestation of the left-wing cultural power in Christopher Nolan’s Odyssey and the highest manifestation of the right-wing cultural power in the World Cup finale.

It’s highly symbolic that the winning shot in today’s finale was scored by a profoundly religious Christian. Of course, it’s not an unexpected thing to happen. Ferrán Torres is not exceptional in his religiosity among soccer players.

But it’s really curious how clearly the fault lines of “men suck” versus “men rock” are drawn.

A very deserved win because Spain dominated the entire game. It was not a fluke win, but an actual real win.

Totally psyched for Spain.

Wow, what a game! The referee completely unfairly ejected an Argentinian player with a red card. The player had been a total pest throughout the entire game and finally got on the referee’s nerves.

Spain dominated the whole game but couldn’t get a goal in because Argentina has a very strong goalie.

We are now going into extra time. Or whatever it’s called in English. I’m watching in Spanish, which makes sense with two Hispanic teams.

Back when I was learning the language, I thought that it was unimaginable that one day I would be able to listen to sports commentators in Spanish and understand them. Sports commentators are notoriously hard to follow if you’re not a native speaker.

The halftime show at the World Cup final is atrocious. There was a nice Korean boy band, but everything else is not just old. It is ancient.

This is an athletic event. Even I feel a massive jolt of energy. Why is the halftime show such a downer?

So far, it’s been Spain’s game, although there have been no goals.

It’s starting!

Although I am for Spain, I really like Messi. Because he’s old. I feel a great sense of commonality with people who do things that are considered physically out there at their age.

At this stage of the game, Spain is clearly a stronger team. Although a Basque player just failed to get the ball in.