Just Give Me the Exact Text of the Comment

I really love blogs that end every other post with a long explanation of what people should write in the comments. Like this one:

Commenters are strictly prohibited from criticizing each other, auditing other commenters’ choices, questioning other commenters’ circumstances, or offering advice, unless it is explicitly solicited. You are being invited to talk about your own experiences, not stand in judgment of anyone else’s.

And this one from the same blog:

By way of reminder: Comments that try to suss out what changes, exactly, were made, and even comments noting that, for example, the removal of laugh lines because they are ZOMG wrinkles actually robs a face of its character or humanity, are welcome. Discussions of how “she looks prettier/hotter/better in the candid picture” and associated commentary (which would certainly make me feel like shit if I were the person being discussed) are not. So please comment in keeping with the series’ intent, implicit in which is the question: If no one can ever be beautiful enough, then to what end is the pursuit of an elusive perfection?

I think one could streamline the whole process by publishing a list of accepted comments which readers could simply copy-paste into the comment box. Those of us who have read Ilf and Petrov’s The Golden Calf are now peeing themselves with laughter.