As hurtful as these comments were, though, they got me thinking. I felt I couldn’t deal with yet another romantic disappointment, so I decided to give these commenters the benefit of the doubt. As I analyzed my behavior, I realized that the ignoramuses were right. The problem was located in me, in my own psychological issues.
So I called my sister.
“I just had the most crucial insight ever!” I announced. “The reason why my relationship fails is that I want them to fail. I choose men who will disappoint me on purpose.”
“I know,” my sister said in a bored voice.
“What do you mean, you know?” I asked, appalled by her lack of enthusiasm for my psychological breakthrough. “Why didn’t you tell me this? I’ve been suffering for years!”
“I’ve said this very thing to you hundreds of times,” my sister responded. “But you never wanted to listen.”
So I decided to stop the neurotic drama. The first order of the day was to figure out exactly what kind of man and what kind of a relationship I needed. I imagined the man of my dreams in as much detail as I could. I imagined how we would live together, how we would spend our free time, how we would watch movies together, shop for groceries, take walks, discuss books, and even what side of the bed each of us would sleep on.
When the picture was complete in my mind, I knew I was finally ready to enter into a happy, neurosis-free relationship. I was moving to Montreal for my last year of doctoral studies. If there was ever a place to meet a beautiful, enlightened, intellectual and feminist man, that is, of course, Montreal so I couldn’t wait to move there and start my hunt for the perfect man.
But then something happened that changed all these carefully thought out plans.
(To be continued. . . Don’t you love these cool cliff-hangers? 🙂 )
Clarissa's Blog 
” I imagined the man of my dreams in as much detail as I could. I imagined how we would live together, how we would spend our free time, how we would watch movies together, shop for groceries, take walks, discuss books, and even what side of the bed each of us would sleep on.” – that sounds pretty neurotic too.
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No, that’s the only way to end up in a relationship you want to be in. I highly recommend this strategy. I also recommend it for job searches, immigration, and grad school application process.
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I use this strategy but the problem is that I know only one person who is like in my dreams…
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“..even what side of the bed each of us would sleep on”, really? That sounds totally weird to me. 😛 I mean it’s ok to have some sort of a template for a partner but I feel thinking and analyzing too much can often be counterproductive when trying to forge a relationship. One needs to take it easy, go with the flow, etc. These usual things are sometimes hard to do for people given to thinking, analysing and rationalizing though. Anyway I think you have tried to be humorous in this series of posts, and I’ll take it in that spirit. 🙂
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I’m sharing the system that led me directly into the most beautiful relationship ever and years of romantic bliss. Of course, if you have a different system, feel free to share.
I’m a very rigid and unbending person. For me, either I get exactly what I want in a relationship or I’d just rather live alone forever. It works for me. 🙂
The side of the bed is an autistic thing. I also get very upset if the pattern on the bed clothes crosses me in a wrong direction. 🙂 🙂
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“(To be continued. . . Don’t you love these cool cliff-hangers? 🙂 )”
NO I DO NOT. I hope you have posted the continuation already 🙂
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