What I Don’t Get About Child-Free People

I think it’s perfectly fine not to have children if you don’t feel like it. No other reason or justification is needed. If you don’t feel like having them, then don’t. It makes you an honest, strong-minded person who doesn’t bow to societal pressures and just does whatever s/he feels like. Perfect!

What I find very disturbing, though, is when people fashion some kind of an identity out of something they say they have no interest in doing. To give an example, I’m a blogger. That’s a huge part of my identity because I spend a lot of time blogging. I don’t garden, however. It would be kind of freaky for me to create an identity for myself based on not gardening and to write endless passionate posts and articles about how gardening sucks and all people who garden are deluded.

The child-free folks, though (not to be confused with those who are simply childless, like myself), spend a lot of time and energy decrying the horrors of an activity they say they don’t want to participate in and making wild and unflattering generalizations about those who do want to participate in it. Here is the most recent example I encountered:

I think when most women imagine having a baby, they romanticize it, thinking of their perfect, adorable Kodak moments. I do not. . . To me, having a baby means misery, poverty, missed opportunities, burden, servitude, restriction, and a ruined life. My view might not be common, or if it is, it’s not much talked about, but I know that I am not alone.

Anybody is completely entitled to envision having children as “misery, poverty, etc.” What I find hard to comprehend, though, is why this belief has to be accompanied by a ridiculous generalization about the stupidity of “most women” who only think of Kodak moments and can’t even imagine what the reality of having children means. Why such intense disrespect for so many women? (Men are not mentioned at all here. Probably this blogger believes that women reproduce through parthenogenesis.) Why not choose, instead, to give people who want kids (as well as people who don’t)  the benefit of the doubt and proceed from the assumption that they know what they are doing?

Whenever I talk to a child-free person, I always notice that they talk about babies a lot more than even the most obsessed parents. (Also, baby poop tends to feature prominently in those conversations, which makes a lot of sense psychoanalytically.) They go on and on about how all of those people who have children are completely insane and how their lives must be totally and hopelessly ruined. After a while of listening to this “parenthood is such a nightmare” whining, I begin to think that this seemingly ideological child-free position is nothing but a huge case of sour grapes.

People who are completely sure of an important life decision they made will never spend a moment defending it. Because whenever you feel the need to defend it, it’s not “society” you are talking to. It’s that nasty little voice in your head telling you that probably your decision was a mistake.

165 thoughts on “What I Don’t Get About Child-Free People

      1. And a healthy baby I am sure poops a lot less often than parents and their supporters talk (disparagingly) about the childfree. Someone isn’t happy with her lifechoices.

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  1. Sounds like a prolonged conversation with someone on a diet who is so proud of themselves for not having any of that Belgian chocolate milkshake, steak with bleu cheese crumble, French onion soup, and prosciutto wrapped around melon.

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    1. Read my post, I was only writing about a dream that I had in which I was a mother and was not happy about it. http://goldencoathanger.com/2011/10/17/childfree-and-dreaming-about-babies

      If this blogger didn’t like that I was talking about it ON MY OWN BLOG, she could have just not read it. Instead, she chose to quote part of it in a post in which she just completely lies about me. Oh, this blogger lied about me, and for as long as I’m able to comment, I intend to make sure that every one of her visitors know it. Read my post, you’ll see.

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      1. I read both your blog and Clarissa’s, and it turns out, she has you pegged. Maybe that’s why you are so angry and defensive?

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  2. I agree. I see what you are saying about creating an identity based on things you do like vs things you don’t like.

    Parenthood doesn’t have to be a nightmare if you work at making it pleasant. Sure it’s a nightmare for a lot of people who have unplanned children who’s spouses leave them and they are broke. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

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    1. Have you read “Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids” by Bryan Caplan? It’s talks about how parents work too hard and could easily enjoy themselves more without depriving their children. I loved it.

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  3. I think it very interesting that you say: “What I find hard to comprehend, though, is why this belief has to be accompanied by a ridiculous generalization about the stupidity of “most women” who only think of Kodak moments and can’t even imagine what the reality of having children means” when you have put every childless-by-choice person together in this post. I am childless by choice and spend absolutely no time talking (or thinking) about the topic unless someone asks. Then I simply say I’m not a big fan of kids and leave it at that. I understand your point–which is actually a fair one–but I think you are guilty of the same sweeping generalization as the people you are criticizing.
    Thanks.

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    1. I said very clearly that I wasn’t talking about childless people. I think I was as clear as possible that I was ONLY and exclusively talking about the child-free folks who create an identity out of something they don’t do.

      Once again, NOT every post published online is about you personally. If you are not one of people described here, then the post wasn’t about you.

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      1. Someone else’s identity gets to be decided by them, not you. How a person chooses to define themselves, or by what they do or don’t do, isn’t really any of your affair. But DO know that parents constantly worrying about the words of childfree people (and they do it a whole lot more than the childfree talk about kids) says a whole lot more about parents than it does about the childfree.

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        1. Are you brain-damaged or something? I’m NOT ANYBODY’S PARENT. I don’t have childrean. Can you read before posting garbage?

          This is not the most aggressive or inventive bunch of trolls but it surely is the most clueless and stupid one

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  4. My opinion: this absolutely natural phenomenon at the given stage. childfree it is very young ideology, and at early stages of formation of any ideology the fanaticism is inevitable. At an early stage it is necessary that the world would hear you, it is necessary to involve as much as possible adherents in the numbers. Without aggression and fanaticism it is impossible also ideology thus struggles for the existence.
    Will pass time and childfree become quieter, more pleasant and kinder, such, as today’s feminists

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    1. I think you are right, Natasha.

      I also think it’s a lot like the more militant stripe of atheism, which usually appeals to people who’ve just broken out of the religion they were raised in, and still harbor a lot of resentment for it. I think these things are similar because there is social pressure to marry and have kids, and probably the more vehemently, aggressively child-free people come from social circles where there is more, rather than less, emphasis on the inevitability and desirability of parenthood.

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  5. “What I find very disturbing, though, is when people fashion some kind of an identity out of something they say they have no interest in doing.”

    I don’t think we can make an ontological distinction between an identity based on doing something verses not doing something. Anything can be framed in terms of not doing the opposite.

    For instance, some have a vegetarian identity. You could say this identity is based on not eating meat, but a vegetarian would say that it has more to do with eating healthy and cruelty free food. Moreover, one could argue that meat eaters are simply people who build an identity around not being vegetarians, as much as vegetarians build an identity around not being meat eaters.

    Other people dedicate their lives to celibacy. You could say they build their life around not having sex, but for them celibacy is about offering their bodies to God.

    Or what about environmentalists? Do they build an a negative identity around not polluting, or a positive identity around living a lifestyle that doesn’t harm the environment.

    I do not see why the childless should create forums and clubs related to their decision to be child-free. It’s as legitimate an identity as having children.

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  6. gudenuf :

    I don’t think we can make an ontological distinction between an identity based on doing something verses not doing something. Anything can be framed in terms of not doing the opposite.

    I think the danger is not so much in building an identity based on what one is not, but on building an identity that turns out to be too narrowly defined. I think we should all try to get along in life with as little self-consciously ascribed “identity” as possible. It’s easy to get trapped into thinking that unless one creates an “identity” and feeds into it will all sorts of evidence and justifications, one will somehow be overrun by other “identities”. I think this in an illusion founded in neurosis.

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    1. ” I think we should all try to get along in life with as little self-consciously ascribed “identity” as possible”

      -YES!!! EXACTLY!!!

      “It’s easy to get trapped into thinking that unless one creates an “identity” and feeds into it will all sorts of evidence and justifications, one will somehow be overrun by other “identities”. I think this in an illusion founded in neurosis.”

      -Very true.

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    2. Jennifer Frances Armstrong :
      It’s easy to get trapped into thinking that unless one creates an “identity” and feeds into it will all sorts of evidence and justifications, one will somehow be overrun by other “identities”. I think this in an illusion founded in neurosis.

      I fully agree with this observation.

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  7. I am the author of the post quoted here.

    If you’re going to lie about me, why provide a link in the midst of it to my post? Anyone who bothered to click it and read what I actually wrote would see just how incredibly dishonest you really are.

    I wrote out a full response on my blog, which I believe is more than this trolling deserves.

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      1. Clarissa, don’t you think you’re being a bit condescending? And patronizing as well.

        It’s a simple question, not “hysterics.”

        I’ve read the post of Julie’s you twisted and misquoted. She has a legitimate beef.

        For the record, I’m childfree and proudly say so (whenever I’m asked; I’m not constantly talking about it in normal conversation). Given society’s immense pressures for women to have children–I’ve seen women piled on and called “selfish” for making this simple statement–I find it exhilarating to say I’m traveling the road not usually taken.

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        1. Now your comment is not the least bit hysterical. I welcome reasonable, intelligent discussion.

          As I said, I don’t have children either. But, in all honesty, I see a lot more pressure on women who do decide to have children. All I get is a few questions at our office parties of the “And when will you have a baby?” kind. That’s not a huge deal, it’s just funny.

          However, if I did decide to get pregnant, my body and lifestyle choices would be constantly policed by strangers. My sister, a high-powered business woman recently had a child. While she was pregnant, a day didn’t go by when people wouldn’t come up to her to give her unsolicited advice on how to handle her pregnancy. She was bullied in the maternity ward before, during and after childbirth.

          And then there is the damage to one’s career and earning opportunities women with children face. Often, women are asked during the hiring process if they plan to have children. Can you guess which response maximizes your chances of getting hired? Have you ever heard of a job candidate being rejected because she does NOT have small children?

          None of this can even remotely compare to the random questions of whether I want to have children that I get now and then. Motherhood is punished in our society in ways that childlessness doesn’t even begin to.

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      2. When have I been hysterical?
        Why do you continue to lie? Is it really that much fun?

        I have nothing to discuss with liars.

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  8. I’m chlidless by choice, but I don’t go around dissing people who want to have chlidren. Really I love children, I just don’t want the responsibility. Having kids has its ups and downs, people who don’t want kids tend to go for the negative consequences of having them.

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  9. I agree with Natasha that at some point people make a decision not to have kids and then they want to be vocal about it, announce it, preempt any arguments against it. Hopefully it is a phase they go through and then get over. I wonder if they also want people to disagree with them because they’re still not sure about their decision?

    Example of response they might like to hear:
    Child-free: “Oh, I could never deal with poop and vomit, I hate babies! They’re such a waste of time and money.”
    Wise parent: “Yeah I felt like you before I had kids, the poop and vomit is totally fine when it’s your own baby. They’re not very expensive and time consuming.”

    So by the response you can confirm or change your mind about your own decision.

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  10. Since when is a personal choice like that an “ideology”? Most people without children by choice simply made a choice, but aren’t saying that nobody else should have children. In my opinion children are simply human beings that are less old than adults. If you see a human being, chances are that it was a child at some point and that someone might have chosen to have children. The only reason to set it up as an ideology is because of the social pressure to have children: then someone must articulate a set of reasons for not doing so.

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    1. I agree that this can’t be an ideology or a movement for the simple reason there are no political or any other kind of goals that can be set for it. Unless the goal here is to legalize childlessness. Which never was illegal.

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  11. If one has to belittle others to defend one’s choices, then that person is not very comfortable with the choices s/he has made.

    Now, being snarky with someone who has gotten in your face and questioned your choices is completely different.

    I don’t know if the original blogger is so put upon by others in her life who think she ought to have kids that she preemptively feels a need to cut down kid-having people before they even get started or if she simply feels that there is something wrong with people who choose to have children. Whichever, she did generalize about child-havers as “stupid” when not all people with children have questioned her choices.

    I spent some time working in ob/gyn and most, if not all, of the first-time expectant (or not yet pregnant but hopeful) mothers that I worked with thought just as much (or more!) about the scary stuff and the life changes as they did about the fun stuff. Just because one wants to have children doesn’t mean the brain turns off.

    It would not be surprising to me to learn that sometimes people who opt not to have children sometimes think about the road not taken, and that is OK and I think healthy as well.

    Nothing wrong with having kids or not having them. I’ve imagined my life both with and without my children and now that they are grown, I am happy with them and our shared times are lovely memories (mostly!). I’m content that I made the choice to have them…but I can’t imagine anyone taking on that huge responsibility without wanting to do so, plus there’s no guarantee it’s going to turn out well.

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    1. Read my post. I never “cut-down” anybody. I never said that there was anything wrong with people who had kids, nor did I call anyone stupid, delusional, or anything else. This blogger has lied about me.

      My post was about a dream that I had in which I inexplicably had a baby and was unhappy about it. I was contrasting my feelings about the situation with those that are more common, or more expected. My post was about MYSELF, not other people. Please go and read it and see for yourself.

      http://goldencoathanger.com/2011/10/17/childfree-and-dreaming-about-babies

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      1. I read your post prior to commenting — I always do when someone references another post — and stand by what I said.

        You did (in your third-to-last paragraph) characterize *most* women who want children as romanticizing having children and referenced (twice) women wanting children as dreaming of “Kodak moments”. You are implying here that women who want children cannot see the downsides that YOU can see…with the implication that they are not too bright (otherwise they’d be able to see past that “romantic” stuff).

        Plenty of people who want children have the same thoughts you have now prior to having them, and many continue to have similar thoughts afterwards. No one likes poo, not even parents, and not even the most clueless person is going to assume that babies don’t poo.

        You don’t want kids, that’s your choice, and you deserve not to have it questioned. However, you do seem to want to assign motives to others who made a different choice, which is not so fine.

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  12. I think much the same could be said of militant atheists. They spend far more time talking about theology than the theologians of most religions. An agnostic friend of mine once wanted to join a discussion group on the topic, and they blackballed him because he couldn’t accept their creed which specified the nature of the god they din’t believe in, and he didn’t accept the holy scriptures as inerrant and infallible (in that case the writings of Sam Harris).

    But you didn’t mention what the child-free bunch call infidels: breeders.

    That’s the worst possible insult in their vocabulary.

    I wonder what their own childhood was like, or whether they spranf fully-formed from the forehead of Zeus.

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    1. “But you didn’t mention what the child-free bunch call infidels: breeders.”

      -Do they? How vile. At least, I didn’t find it on the blog I quoted.

      As a childless person, I can say that of course there are often powerful psychological traumas behind childlessness. I’m planning to blog about it soon.

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    1. Wow, dishonest much? From the SAME SITE:

      “Breeder — Refers to a crappy parent. We’d rather not lump all parents together and make even the good ones look bad. So when we encounter a crappy parent, we call them a “breeder” (the opposite is “parent”).”

      “Parent — This is the term we use for good parents (as opposed to breeders)”

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  13. Julie Was Here :

    When have I been hysterical?
    Why do you continue to lie? Is it really that much fun?

    I have nothing to discuss with liars.

    The screeching of “liars”, “trolls”, “lying” sound like a fit of hysteria.

    I visited your blog exactly twice to leave two very polite comments. I’m not planning to visit it ever again. If that’s trolling, then you haven’t seen what real trolls are like.

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    1. How can I screech when I am typing? That’s right, I haven’t. That’s just your way of dismissing the valid points made against you rather than actually addressing any of them.

      And you ARE a liar, and a troll, both of these I have been able to demonstrate. You’re a troll because you’ve seen fit to cause trouble by lying about me, (for what, attention?) and there is nothing polite about that.

      You lied. You know it. I know it. Anyone who bothers to read what I actually wrote will know it. Stop trying to act like there’s something wrong with me for calling you out on it (it’s nice to see that I’m not the only one here to do so.) Be an adult and own up to the fact that you’ve lied.

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  14. For context, for anyone interested (please click the link that this person was so happy to provide, probably hoping that you wouldn’t actually look) is that my post was about a dream that I had that I inexplicably had a baby and was not happy about. In my dream, I was miserable as a mother. In the excerpt quoted, I was comparing my feelings about motherhood with those that are common in other women, or are expected of me.

    The post was about MYSELF, no one else. I never generalized, attacked, or disrespected any group of people or any choice. Not did I call anyone stupid or delusional. This blogger is making this up.

    Simply put, Clarissa is a liar, but don’t take my word for it, please go read my post: Childfree And Dreaming About Babies. http://goldencoathanger.com/2011/10/17/childfree-and-dreaming-about-babies/

    I do not know if this comment will be blocked in moderation, or if it will appear and simply be deleted, or if this person is actually at least honest just enough to let this stand. We’ll see. And we’ll see if she’ll actually respond to the accusation of blatantly lying about me without simply dismissing this comment as “hysterics” calling her out on her dishonesty.

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    1. And here she goes again with her “lying liars” routine. How boring.

      Did you or did not say ” think when most women imagine having a baby, they romanticize it, thinking of their perfect, adorable Kodak moments”? If you did, then why are you screeching about liars? Is “most women” not a generalization in your opinion? If not, look up the definition of the word “generalization” and consider how many billions of people on this planet constitute “most women.”

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      1. It’s boring when people expose you as a liar? What, are we supposed to just ignore your dishonesty no matter how blatant?

        As for the quote, I’ve already responded to this TWICE now. Once in the comments section of the original post before you even wrote this, as well as in my response to this one.

        No, it’s not a generalization. For one thing, I used the qualifier “MOST.” It would be a generalization if I just said “women.” Additionally, I said “I think,” as in, this is an opinion based on my own observations. Most women DO want children, as can be demonstrated by polls as well as population data. It’s been my experience that women who want kids tend to focus on happy aspects about it. I brought up that point to contrast it with my own feelings.

        I never said this was ALL they thought about when it came to motherhood, nor did I call anyone stupid or delusional for it. You made that up. You KNOW you made that up.

        But never-mind the fact that I DIDN’T generalize anyone or insult anyone in my post, (which was about ME and a dream that I had, and not about other people,) you don’t seem to have a problem with doing just that when you generalize and insult childfree people. So you’re a liar and a hypocrite.

        Be an adult and take responsibility for your words. If you’re not mature enough to apologize or otherwise admit fault, at least take your lies back.

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        1. “No, it’s not a generalization. For one thing, I used the qualifier “MOST.” It would be a generalization if I just said “women.” ”

          -A newsflash: “most women” is a gross generalization.

          “I never said this was ALL they thought about when it came to motherhood, nor did I call anyone stupid or delusional for it. You made that up. You KNOW you made that up.”

          – And where exactly did I say that you called anybody delusional??? The person who made this up is you, buddy.

          “But never-mind the fact that I DIDN’T generalize anyone or insult anyone in my post”

          -Maybe you should let other people decide what they find insulting, eh? I find your statement about “most women” who “romanticize” to be insulting to women.

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    1. Does your dishonesty know no bounds? I was responding to a commenter here who wrote, “I’m chlidless by choice, but I don’t go around dissing people who want to have chlidren. Really I love children, I just don’t want the responsibility. Having kids has its ups and downs, people who don’t want kids tend to go for the negative consequences of having them.”

      To which you responded, “That’s a position I fully respect.”

      I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you simply failed to read the comments stream properly.

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      1. Once again, please give me an exact quote from me where I said you “dissed” anybody. Or accept you are a liar.

        A hint: not every comment on the planet is about you personally. Believing it is about you personally is a sign of a mental disturbance. On the par with your fixation on “liars.”

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  15. bloggerclarissa :
    Once again, please give me an exact quote from me where I said you “dissed” anybody. Or accept you are a liar.
    A hint: not every comment on the planet is about you personally. Believing it is about you personally is a sign of a mental disturbance. On the par with your fixation on “liars.”

    Are you high? I already responded to this.

    A childless by choice commenter said that they didn’t go around dissing parents. You told the commenter that you respected that. I didn’t diss parents either, but not only did you not respect that, but you went on to lie and say that I did by saying that I think parents are stupid and delusional.

    But since you’ve asked, TWICE now, you actually did accuse me of dissing parents in your post. “Why such intense disrespect for so many women?” Funny, I forgot all about that. Thanks for reminding me of another lie of yours that I had failed to point out.

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      1. How can you so easily ignore what’s said to you?
        1. I was responding to a comment you left, responding to a commenter who used the word “dissed.” I wasn’t, in my first comment, saying that you used the word.
        2. On further review, you actually DID accuse me of dissing parent. “Diss” is short for disrespect.
        Are you being dense on purpose just to annoy me? It’s working.

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  16. bloggerclarissa :
    “Be an adult and own up to the fact that you’ve lied.”
    -What did I lie about exactly?

    ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING? I wrote an entire post pointing out several lies. I know you know about it, because I left a trackback to this post of yours, and I also provided a link in another comment here. Here it is again: http://goldencoathanger.com/2011/10/18/blogger-clarissa-doesnt-get-childfree-people/

    For one thing, I never disrespected people who choose to have kids in my post. My post wasn’t even about people who choose to have kids. I never called anyone stupid, delusional, or anything else. I didn’t even generalize anyone, something you’re happy to do yourself when it comes to childfree people (as well as others, as a brief glance through your blog will show.)

    I don’t even “fashion an identity” out of being childfree. You did that to me to put me into a neat little box.

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    1. ” I know you know about it, because I left a trackback to this post of yours,”

      -As I said, the moment when I get accused of trolling, I don’t go back to the blog whose author accused me of that. So I won’t read your post or visit your website ever again. I’m a very popular blogger and I don’t have time to read blogs whose authors are as unhinged as you are.

      “I didn’t even generalize anyone, ”

      -Once again, “most women” is a gross generalization.

      “For one thing, I never disrespected people who choose to have kids in my post. ”

      -I found your statement that I quoted to be very disrespectful to “most women.”

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      1. “Unhinged” what you call someone who exposes you as the pathetic lair that you are.

        “Women,” is a generalization. “Most women,” is not, especially as it’s a statement that I can back up with hard data and observation. There’s nothing disrespectful about it.

        How do you even look at yourself in the mirror with an ounce of respect, knowing what a pathetic liar that you are? I would be so ashamed, were I in your shoes, of course, I’d never be in your shoes because, as an ADULT, I don’t go around lying about people for attention. Grow the fuck up.

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        1. Buddy, I told you already that this “pathetic liar” routine is only effective on the playground. It’s time for you to grow up.

          ““Women,” is a generalization. “Most women,” is not, especially as it’s a statement that I can back up with hard data and observation. There’s nothing disrespectful about it.”

          -This has been addressed twice already. If you can only repeat the same thing like a broken record, what’s the point of participating? Do you have nothing else to do with your time? We have all realized now that you have no idea what the word “generalization” means. Say something new or move on.

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      2. “the moment when I get accused of trolling, I don’t go back to the blog whose author accused me of that”
        Oh, do you get accused of trolling often? Probably because you are doing it.

        “I’m a very popular blogger”
        Maybe in your own head.

        “I found your statement that I quoted to be very disrespectful to “most women.”
        And being one of those “most women” I didn’t. Can we go back to facts now?

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        1. ‘“I’m a very popular blogger”
          Maybe in your own head.”

          -No, buddy, on the Internet. It’s that place where you are posting silly comments right now.

          ““I found your statement that I quoted to be very disrespectful to “most women.”
          And being one of those “most women” I didn’t. Can we go back to facts now?”

          -Facts of what? Are you referring about the fact that I posted my opinion on my blog and not yours? This is the fact you find so disturbing?

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    2. “For one thing, I never disrespected people who choose to have kids in my post. My post wasn’t even about people who choose to have kids. I never called anyone stupid, delusional, or anything else. I didn’t even generalize anyone, something you’re happy to do yourself when it comes to childfree people (as well as others, as a brief glance through your blog will show.)”

      That your main problem Julie. You should disrespect procreation (I embrace adoption), at least. And you should fight against the patriarcho-statist mode of parenting.

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  17. “For one thing, I never disrespected people who choose to have kids in my post. My post wasn’t even about people who choose to have kids. I never called anyone stupid, delusional, or anything else. I didn’t even generalize anyone, something you’re happy to do yourself when it comes to childfree people (as well as others, as a brief glance through your blog will show.)”

    That your main problem Julie. You should disrespect procreation (I embrace adoption), at least. And you should fight against the patriarcho-statist mode of parenting.

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  18. I don’t care that parenting is a misery or a nirvana trip (even though this is more sufferiing for women than men, in general), child-free activists should fight against procreation because this is bad for actual adults and children.

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  19. You are beyond ignorant for tracking back to a post that you boldfaced LIED about. I do not get why breeders like you are so threatened by the child-free and feel the need to degrade us for our beliefs. You are an intolerant twit and will be exposed for the filthy liar you are.

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    1. Who is this new weird creature who is telling me how to refer to myself? I’ll call myself a flashing blue dragon with yellow spots and long antennae if it pleases me. Who the hell are you to come here and correct my speech patterns?

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  20. Julie wasn’t writing to generalize, she was writing to express her own feelings, her nightmare that she had a child, despite her sterilization. It seems that you want to make it into her saddling women who have had children with terms (despite that not being the case). It seems like you have missed the point of Julie’s post and are not trying to understand what a child free person wants in life.

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    1. People who don’t want to generalize should avoid talking of what “most women” imagine.

      I couldn’t care less what anybody wants in life. It is everybody’s right to make their own choices about having or not having children, and I fully support that right. However, ANY generalizations about what “most women” imagine annoy me because I’m a feminist.

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  21. Julie: you seem to have dark dreams in general, regardless of the subject.

    I hardly understand how you could make assumptions as that what most women (or *any* women outside of your group of girlfriends) envision when it comes to babies. It is a complex issue that is bound to evoke mixed feelings, and it is presumptuous of you to say that most women have kodak-like images in their heads. Most women are not simple-minded morons, you know?

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  22. Interesting blog post. Considering we live in a very patriarchal, family-oriented society; having women who are proudly and adamantly childfree should be refreshing, don’t you agree? I see no reason why they cannot be able to vocally rejoice in their lifestyle. Do vegans get put down for telling people of the horrors of animal abuse, the way childfree folks get put down for their observations and views on the childed?

    And yes, I think it is very true childfree folks speak more about women than men, and have more phrases for women because, and I’m sure as a feminist you surely must know, that women bear the larger role of parenting. There is ample research to back it up, even in our wonderful modern era complete with iPhone apps and Google. Yes, men are also free of a lot of the judgment and ostracizing that women get for not being a mother.

    There is a lot to talk about, and it’s not just about baby feces. It’s about women’s rights, choices, gender roles–a lot of stuff that has nothing to do with diapers. As a young woman of 22, if it weren’t for many vocal childfree blogs and women writing about their personal choices….I would not know it even WAS a choice. And that, my dear, is why women are talking “sooo” much about the role of parenting.

    Like

    1. “having women who are proudly and adamantly childfree should be refreshing, don’t you agree”

      -What is supposed to be so refreshing about not wanting to do something?

      “I see no reason why they cannot be able to vocally rejoice in their lifestyle. ”

      -Me neither. Nobody’s criticizing anybody’s rejoicing, though. What is being criticized is a desire of some child-free folks to make offensive generalizations about “Most women.” As a feminist, I somehow don’t find women hating on other women, calling them breeders, and saying that most women are completely deluded and stupid to be very refreshing, sorry.

      “I’m sure as a feminist you surely must know, that women bear the larger role of parenting”

      -This is why the struggle that I’m most interested in had to do with making parenthood equally relevant to both men and women and improving the social conditions so that women don’t get punished for deciding to have children.

      “And that, my dear, is why women are talking “sooo” much about the role of parenting.”

      -The role of parenting in what? It sound by the tone of your last statement that now you have decided to parent me. Thanks, but I’m not interested.

      Like

  23. In a way I’m sorry to have sparked off this acrimonious discussion by simply referring to a post that illustrated the use of the term “breeder” by the proponents of the “childfree” ideology.

    But I suppose the advantage is that it brought some of them out of the woodwork, and so you don’t need to go to another site — you can see right here in the comment stream how they use the word “breeder” to denigrate those who do not accept their ideology.

    Like

    1. You don’t have to be sorry, Steve. Now that these people have come out of the woodwork, they make their own huge psychological issues very obvious to everybody. This is an important educational moment for everybody who is reading.

      Like

  24. You make a decent point. I’ve been curious about why certain child-free people blast parents (by calling them “breeders”), too, and posed my own theory in The Child-Free vs. “Breeder” War: Why Are We Fighting It?” Here’s the link if you’re interested: http:XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

    Like

  25. Clarissa – you wrote, “As a childless person, I can say that of course there are often powerful psychological traumas behind childlessness.”

    I don’t doubt this is sometimes true (as annoying as it is to hear people say, because it inevitably invites, “Something must have happened in your past for you to not want children.”

    “Nope. Nothing. Just don’t want ’em.”

    “Come on. Something happened.” I discuss this in “No Children, No Guilt.”)

    But I’ve no doubt that of course there are often psychological traumas behind the choice to procreate – cases of people feeling unloved, neglected, cases of abuse that lead the abused to want to do “better” by their own kids, etc. I don’t think the choice to have children is as simple as it’s assumed to be (“I just love kids!”).

    Like

      1. You’ve hit the nail on the head here.

        When the above person writes, “To me, having a baby means misery, poverty, missed opportunities, burden, servitude, restriction, and a ruined life.” I think maybe she’s encountered parent’s who have complained to her about their choices and their lives. Perhaps she’s met or had an over-abundance of experiences with angry, bitter parent’s who are very focused on venting to someone about their unhappiness, misery regarding their choices.

        I cannot know and I’m only speculating, but I’ve met tons of people who have unloaded on me in this regard–not exactly incentivizing to want to reproduce. A natural response could be interpreting the burdens of parenting as she does above. Just something to ponder.

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  26. Wow. Just another example of a parent who can’t just live her life with her kids, but has to pick on a childfree woman because she “doesn’t get it.” You don’t have to get it. She is not writing about childfreedom for YOU, she is writing for other childfree people. I’ll never understand why uber-moms/religious freaks/racists/anti-semites/homophobes have to reach out into the world and crap on people who don’t think the way they do, or the way “normal” people “should” live their lives. Childfreedom is not a psychological illness, nor is it a life of “not having” something. It’s about choosing a life of freedom from financial burden, choosing not to add to the overpopulation that is killing our planet, and choosing to live our lives how WE want to, not how society expects us to (so they can have more taxpayers, etc.). Go raise your kids and get over those of us who don’t have them. Jeez.

    Like

    1. Erm, who’s a parent here? Not me, that’s for sure.

      “I’ll never understand why uber-moms/religious freaks/racists/anti-semites/homophobes ”

      -I’m even less of an uber-Mom (or any kind of Mom) than the rest of these categories. 🙂

      Seriously, are all you folks completely illiterate? I repeated probably a hundred times that I don’t have children, so there are no kids I can “go raise.” Jeez, indeed.

      What kind of a clueless freakazoid leaves a rambling comment to a post without even reading the post?

      Like

  27. Well I’ve come late to this discussion. I will say that I’m probably more prone to feeling empathy and compassion towards people who opt to take the road of not having children. I do not know what kinds of experiences she has had around this choice and so I could only speculate from what she writes. Perhaps you’ve encountered and have different experiences.

    She could be feeling all kinds of emotions, including pressure and I do have empathy, because of the types of ugly, rude, thoughtless, inconsiderate and often cruel comments made by others who judge and label me for my choices, even people who have suggested that I don’t like children or that I’m some kind of baby-hater. Why are my choices any of their business. I do not stick my nose into their choices?

    Around the issue of whether or not to have a child, I’ve been on the receiving end of all kinds of very intrusive comments and mean-spirited judgements and that is why I feel empathy towards someone like the person above. Something to ponder…

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    1. I honestly can’t see rude comments, no matter how offensive they might be, as even coming close to not getting hired for a job or being discriminated against in the workplace. These are just comments, you don’t have to listen to them. But do you have the luxury of not caring whether you can make enough money to pay the bills?

      I’d feel empathy towards this Julie character if only she hadn’t started making offensive generalizations about those clueless and stupid “most women.”

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      1. It is not always so easy to just not listen to them. People are social creatures. Even people with good self-esteem and strong identities can struggle with pressure and also mean-spirited judgements, criticisms, and character slams, etc.

        Maybe you feel greater empathy towards people with children than those without for your own reasons. You state above that she makes offensive genralizations, etc., but then people such as myself have also been on the receiving end of similar types of comments by those with children. Is one okay and the other isn’t?

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  28. Anonymous :

    It is not always so easy to just not listen to them. People are social creatures. Even people with good self-esteem and strong identities can struggle with pressure and also mean-spirited judgements, criticisms, and character slams, etc.

    Maybe you feel greater empathy towards people with children than those without for your own reasons. You state above that she makes offensive genralizations, etc., but then people such as myself have also been on the receiving end of similar types of comments by those with children. Is one okay and the other isn’t?

    But yet again, do you seriously think that criticisms even remotely rise to the level of not being able to make a living?

    This isn’t about empathy for me. This is about objective facts. And the objective facts demonstrate that the kind of real daily discrimination that a person with children faces, the real loss of income, the real discrimination in the workplace, the real financial consequences, the real medical consequences are a lot more significant than comments.

    As for generalizations, I said already in this thread that as a feminist, I abhor any statements that start with “most women”. Or “most men.” Unless these statements have to do with obvious physiological facts, such as, for example, menstruation.

    Like

  29. People talk about things they are proud of. You can be as proud of things that you do as much as things that you don’t do (like having kids or getting fat). People without kids yet talk about people with kids and the misery that can come with it, because they are happy that they are doing what they want and enjoying life. it is just like the news, people like to talk about the negative things out there and be glad it’s not them. I do agree with you though, I think we should challenge those without kids to focus on the positive of the lifestyle – the travel, nights out, freedom, money, less stress etc etc…Talk about the positive in their life and be thankful for what is has to offer because of no kids, and don’t focus on others and baby poop. It is like a fitness freak, they will talk about how awesome they look, not how bad everyone else looks. It should be the same way when living a kid free lifestage – Positivity! We have not had kids yet, but we wanted to enjoy life without kids while we were kid free. We looked around and tried to find others like us and a forum to communicate with other couples without kids who have things in common with us..but all we found were a bunch of negative child free blogs. So, we took action and started http://www.XXXXXXXXXXX – for the dual income no kids couple. I hope you all like it! be positive!! – katelyn

    Like

    1. This is seriously bizarre. I ask people repeatedly not to self-promote. I show them repeatedly that it’s useless to try to self-promote because I delete their links. Yet they keep trying to do this and then get offended when I tell them they are stupid.

      “People talk about things they are proud of. You can be as proud of things that you do as much as things that you don’t do (like having kids or getting fat)”

      -People who are proud of not having kids and not getting fat are complete and utter idiots. After your ridiculous attempt to leave a link on my blog, I’m not really surprised that you don’t see this statement of yours as an exercise in utter idiocy.

      “t is like a fitness freak, they will talk about how awesome they look, not how bad everyone else looks. ”

      -Yes, exactly. Such people are freaks. Just like you are. I’m glad you recognized it at least.

      Like

  30. bloggerclarissa :Are you brain-damaged or something? I’m NOT ANYBODY’S PARENT. I don’t have childrean. Can you read before posting garbage?
    This is not the most aggressive or inventive bunch of trolls but it surely is the most clueless and stupid one

    Wow, someone sure hit a nerve. 🙂 And no one cares whether or not you’re a parent (too bad you can’t say the same), but considering your penchant for insulting people you don’t even know at will because they had the temerity to point out your painfully obvious hypocrisy, you should consider being sterilized.

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    1. Ugly stinky freak, it’s a nerve of a person who has to repeat the same thing 15 times in a row because a bunch of total idiots can’t read a simple sentence.

      Please keep your inane advice to your ugly smelly self.

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  31. bloggerclarissa :This is getting too funny for words. I’m not a parent, you illiterate creep. Nor am I “their supporter”. What a bunch of unhinged freakazoids you are.

    Oh yeah, it’s hilarious, Clarissa. You know what’s really funny? The fact that someone old enough to run a blog like this is now reduced to the old “Well, you’re a poopyhead!” as a response. LMAO!!!

    Like

    1. And who is this person “reduced to the old “Well, you’re a poopyhead!” as a response”? Since I never used the word “poopyhead” (or even heard it in my life), that can’t be me. Please clarify this mystery for us.

      Even a greater mystery is how your parents allowed a 5-year-old like yourself to use the Internet.

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  32. -A newsflash: “most women” is a gross generalization.

    So? You’ve already amply shown that gross generalizations are just fine. You even do it to the people who respond to your nonsense, by lumping all of your “trolls” here together. IE, everyone here who disagrees with you is a bunch of “unhinged freakazoids.”

    Hypocrite, thy name is Clarissa. It should be tattooed on your forehead as a warning to others. It doesn’t surprise me that you decided to invade someone else’s blog and then adopt some sort of deeply insulted posture over it, you’re obviously a pathetic loser who gets off on playing the victim. Oh, all those poor “women” that have been generalized!! BOO HOO HOO!! How awful that a childfree person would talk about “most women (with children)” on her own blog -a demographic that doesn’t even include you- how dares she?? It’s sooo tragic! OH THE HUMANITY!

    -Maybe you should let other people decide what they find insulting, eh? I find your statement about “most women” who “romanticize” to be insulting to women.

    Not that you care about insulting women, you seem to really like insults and fling them around like a toddler flinging boogers. Maybe you should let other people decide how they define and identify themselves? Hypocrite.

    Like

    1. When you are right, you are right, law1204. It was wrong of me to lump all the idiots in this thread under the label of “unhinged freakazoids.”

      So from now on (at least for today), YOU will be appointed the one and only ugly, smelly, stupid, unhinged freakazoid on this blog. Congratulations! This is a huge win for justice.

      “It doesn’t surprise me that you decided to invade someone else’s blog”

      -If leaving a very polite comment equals “invading a blog”, then my blog has been invaded 25,272 times during this insistence. Wow, I get invaded more often than Ukraine.

      “Oh, all those poor “women” that have been generalized!! BOO HOO HOO!! ”

      -And then you get upset for being called an infantile, immature jerk?

      “Not that you care about insulting women, you seem to really like insults and fling them around like a toddler flinging boogers. ”

      – I don’t insult groups of people, if you’ve noticed. Just the individual unhinged freakazoids.

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    2. “It was wrong of me to lump all the idiots in this thread under the label of “unhinged freakazoids.””

      Somehow fake remorse really suits you. It goes really well with your fake outrage.

      “YOU will be appointed the one and only ugly, smelly, stupid, unhinged freakazoid on this blog. Congratulations! This is a huge win for justice.”

      Oh gawd I am SOO hurt and insulted!! Whatever will I do with myself? Maybe I should go pour another bowl of cheerios so I can cry in them because a window-licker like you reffered to me as a “freakazoid.”

      Like

    3. “If leaving a very polite comment equals “invading a blog”,”

      What constitutes invading a blog is leaving a RUDE comment somewhere you weren’t invited and then posting untruths about what was actually said. Lots of people noticed it. Busted!

      “I don’t insult groups of people, if you’ve noticed.”

      The childfree by choice are a group of people, asshat. And you insulted them. Not that you care. But then again, I am sure I don’t insult you by calling you a brainless cunt, either. It’s said totally out of love and support!

      Like

      1. Buddy, you of all people should know what I sound when I;m being rude. And those comments on “Julie’s” blog were so obviously not it.

        ‘The childfree by choice are a group of people, asshat. And you insulted them. Not that you care. But then again, I am sure I don’t insult you by calling you a brainless cunt, either.”

        -One more hysterical outburst and I’ll ban you. Try to control your tantrums.

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      2. “Buddy, you of all people should know what I sound when I;m being rude.”

        Well, I CAN tell you what you sound like when you’re being stupid. YOU don’t know the difference, why should I?

        “One more hysterical outburst and I’ll ban you.”

        Oh please do. I would consider it a badge of honor to be banned by someone for whom “ugly and smelly” is the height of witty repartee.

        Like

  33. bloggerclarissa :Who is this new weird creature who is telling me how to refer to myself? I’ll call myself a flashing blue dragon with yellow spots and long antennae if it pleases me. Who the hell are you to come here and correct my speech patterns?

    Well, who the hell are you to decide how or why childfree people identify themselves by choosing not to have children, or whether or not they have an identity at all? From your post, you yourself said: “What I find very disturbing, though, is when people fashion some kind of an identity out of something they say they have no interest in doing.” So I guess it’s OK for you to talk about the way other people fashion their identities but then get all huffy when you perceive it’s being done to you (though it wasn’t, you were being corrected on the way you generalized others)? BTW it’s a lot more likely you’re a dragon-lady with yellow spots than that you’re a “feminist” if you cannot respect the choices of ALL WOMEN, and that includes the choice to not have children and to discuss the reasons why, even if you yourself don’t like or identify with those reasons.

    BTW: “Because whenever you feel the need to defend it, it’s not “society” you are talking to. It’s that nasty little voice in your head telling you that probably your decision was a mistake.”

    Considering the amount of time and effort you’ve put in to defending this blog post, I guarantee you it was a mistake! LOL!

    Like

    1. “Well, who the hell are you to decide how or why childfree people identify themselves by choosing not to have children, or whether or not they have an identity at all? ”

      -If you read this blog’s header that is located at the top of this page, you will be able to answer your own question very easily. I believe in you! You can make the logical connection here!

      “So I guess it’s OK for you to talk about the way other people fashion their identities but then get all huffy when you perceive it’s being done to you (though it wasn’t, you were being corrected on the way you generalized others)?”

      -I believe that everybody is entitled to offer a critique (and even a criticism) of any kind of identity building. I believe that a creation of ANY kind of collective identity is hugely problematic and requires a certain degree of self-mutilation. I have blogged about my rejection of any and all collective identities here: https://clarissasblog.com/2010/06/14/collective-identities-2/

      I understand that you can’t be expected to be familiar with the entirety of my blogging production, but it’s better to ask before posing inane questions.

      “BTW it’s a lot more likely you’re a dragon-lady with yellow spots than that you’re a “feminist” if you cannot respect the choices of ALL WOMEN”

      -I’m not a choice feminist. I also blogged about that at length. I believe that choice feminism is a return to patriarchy. However, I said maybe 20 times already that everybody is entitled to decide not to have children and that choice should be respected. So you are arguing with yourself here.

      “Considering the amount of time and effort you’ve put in to defending this blog post, I guarantee you it was a mistake! ”

      -I’m not defending anything. I’m generating readership for my blog and educating people.

      Like

    2. “you will be able to answer your own question very easily.”

      Oh, are you referring simply to the fact that you “don’t get it?” Well that was entirely too easy. You should have just titled it “DUUH.”

      “I believe that everybody is entitled to offer a critique (and even a criticism) of any kind of identity building.

      Then you don’t have the right to be upset when someone does it to you. So your posturing there is hypocritical AND tacky.

      “I believe that a creation of ANY kind of collective identity is hugely problematic”

      Oh, well so much for FEMINISM then! The only identity that fits you is “self-refuting.”

      “I’m not a choice feminist.”

      Then you’re not a feminist.

      “I’m not defending anything.”

      Granted, your bullshit is indefensible but since you obviously have no shame, you’ll defend it anyway. And yes, that is what you are doing, as any writer will do with what they produce.

      “I’m generating readership for my blog and educating people.”

      Well, I will not be joining the two other readers of your pathetic blog (as I believe all non-feminists who mistakenly refer to themselves as feminists should all die in a fire), and since you don’t have two brain cells to rub together, pedagogy is far, far beyond your meagre capabilities.

      Like

      1. “Oh, are you referring simply to the fact that you “don’t get it?” Well that was entirely too easy. You should have just titled it “DUUH.””

        -Wow, this is very sad. You don’t know what a blog header is? Make one more try, do. Maybe you’ll even be able to figure it out.

        “Then you don’t have the right to be upset when someone does it to you.”

        -Who does what to me? Are you even literate?

        “Oh, well so much for FEMINISM then”

        -Yes, you are illiterate. Feminism is not an identity. It’s a politial movement.

        Like

      2. “You don’t know what a blog header is?”

        Um, sweetie? Your blog header doesn’t have an answer to why you think you have the right to talk about other people’s personal identities and then get upset when it’s done back to you – that is, why you are self-refuting hypocrite. It doesn’t answer the question as to why you’re a drooling moron. It doesn’t answer the question as to why you are a narcissist – the post title did, though. Ergo, you’re the one who is confused.

        “Who does what to me?”

        You said, in response to Randi on October 18, 2011 at 6:08 pm in post #87, and I quote, “Who is this new weird creature who is telling me how to refer to myself? I’ll call myself a flashing blue dragon with yellow spots and long antennae if it pleases me. Who the hell are you to come here and correct my speech patterns?”

        AND YET THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN DOING ALL ALONG by thinking you have the right to talk about the identity of the childfree. Knock it the fuck off.

        “Feminism is not an identity.”

        Yes, it is. That is why people say “I AM a feminist.” They don’t say “I have joined the feminist movement.” For someone who thinks she knows how to write about identity politics, you sure don’t know shit about it.

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        1. “Um, sweetie? Your blog header doesn’t have an answer to why you think you have the right to talk about other people’s personal identities and then get upset when it’s done back to you ”

          – I don’t talk about “personal identities.” I talk about collective identities. And I can’t get upset when somebody does it “back to me”, to use your clumsy expression, because I don’t have any collective identities.

          “AND YET THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN DOING ALL ALONG by thinking you have the right to talk about the identity of the childfree. Knock it the fuck off.”

          -On my blog,I choose what to do and when to knock the fuck off without your valuable advice. Please ponder the difference between an individual and a collective before you regaleus with any more inanities.

          “Yes, it is. That is why people say “I AM a feminist.” They don’t say “I have joined the feminist movement.” For someone who thinks she knows how to write about identity politics, you sure don’t know shit about it.”

          -When did I say anything about being interested in “identity politics”??? Are you talking to voices in your head again? For a definiton of feminism, please use a library.

          Like

  34. Since I never used the word “poopyhead” (or even heard it in my life), that can’t be me. Please clarify this mystery for us.

    Oh sorry, I didn’t realize that you thought referring to people as “freakazoids” and “ugly and smelly” as adult discourse, unlike calling someone a poopyhead – you’d never stoop *that* low!

    Like


  35. Well, I will not be joining the two other readers of your pathetic blog (as I believe all non-feminists who mistakenly refer to themselves as feminists should all die in a fire), and since you don’t have two brain cells to rub together, pedagogy is far, far beyond your meagre capabilities.

    And the stupid creature can’t count either.

    Like

  36. law1204 :“Buddy, you of all people should know what I sound when I;m being rude.”
    Well, I CAN tell you what you sound like when you’re being stupid. YOU don’t know the difference, why should I?
    “One more hysterical outburst and I’ll ban you.”
    Oh please do. I would consider it a badge of honor to be banned by someone for whom “ugly and smelly” is the height of witty repartee.

    Thank you for proving my point that you grasp onto your child-free identity so pathetically because you don’t have any actual achievements to beproud of. If being banned from a blog is your “badge of honor” that says a lot about your life.

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    1. “If being banned from a blog is your “badge of honor” that says a lot about your life.”

      Oh, I get it. This is what you consider identity politics – attempts to insult other individual people’s lives whom you don’t even know, after calling them “ugly and smelly” and threatening to ban them when they point out your completely cunty behavior. How ACADEMIC! How *philosophical*! Your statement about “What I find very disturbing, though, is when people fashion some kind of an identity out of something they say they have no interest in doing” is just a bunch of hot air and posturing bullshit. SO glad we cleared that up.

      Like

      1. You are not an individual and you obviously don’t have a life. You are a sad pathetic creature who is allowed to post here for the moment because many people are surely finding this very enlightening.

        When I get bored with calling you names, I’ll ban you. Folks like yourself get very tedious after a while.

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    1. “I care about the true number of readers of your blathering WHY exactly?”

      -You should address that question to yourself since you brought the number of readers up and provided an obviously mistaken number. 🙂

      Please confess, you are doing this on purpose to make all child-free folks look like idiots, right? You hate the child-free and are trying to generate hatred in others towards them in this inventive way, aren’t you?

      This isinventive but unnecessarily cruel.

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    2. “You should address that question to yourself”

      How about I address it to you? The answer is, I DON’T because I don’t care about you or your blog in general, or who reads it, or what it says (I’m only here to let you know what a clueless, hateful loser you are for what you did to Julie and how ignorant and bigoted you are for this particular post). And neither does anyone else. Get the fuck over yourself, you and what you have to say are not that important and not even remotely compelling and the only way you can generate readership is by going to other more popular blogs and acting like a complete asshole – in other words, you’re a leech and a user who has to ride the coattails of someone better than you. (Did I inflict a narcissistic wound yet? Please let me know when I do, it will totally make my day.)

      Like

      1. No, we already read her blog – although it’s funny that you think your fuckery should be considered a form of altruism. You really are a narcissistic fuck.

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        1. It’s funny, though, that instead of spending more time on Julie’s worthy blog, you are glued to mine. That’s the best proof that Julie’s oohings and aahings are supremely boring. Although, she is perfectly entitled to choose to be as boring as she likes.

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      2. “That’s the best proof that Julie’s oohings and aahings are supremely boring. ”

        And yet you actually devoted an entire blog post on YOUR own blog to her “ooings and aahings” and are now vehemently defending your own driveling response to her.

        Yet another self-refutation to add to the growing pile.

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        1. So I’m right. You didn’t read the post you are trying to respond to. A little hint: it isn’t about Julie. Try rereading it carefully and you might even be able to figure that out. Start with the title of the post and see if you can find the word “Julie” in it.

          Like

      3. You _quoted_ Julie’s post in your post and provided a link to her blog in your post. But it’s not about her! If it’s not about her, what IS it about? Your latest bowel movement?

        But yet she’s so supremely boring. So boring that you just keep talking about her and talking about her. Your next comment I am sure will refer to her in some way. In fact, childfree thought is so awful you devoted three posts to it just on your front page (no surprise since the rest of your sleepy musings produce comments in the single digits, but, like I said, you have to use the thoughts of other better people than yourself to generate traffic here – which makes your comment about sending HER more readers an ironic twist to end all ironic twists).

        Lady, I don’t know what hallucinogenic drugs you are on but they must be some real wowzers.

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        1. You are such a classic case, it isn’t even funny. I talk about the anal traumas of the child-free folks, and you find nothing better than to talk about bowel movements.

          The post is about the following: “What I Don’t Get About Child-Free People.” See? “People.” Julie is one person. Or at least I think she is. So Julie was used as an example of attitude I find annoying. I hope I don’t have to retell all of my 2,938 posts to you.

          “In fact, childfree thought is so awful you devoted three posts to it just on your front page ”

          -What front page? 🙂 🙂 This is too funny. There is no front page. 🙂 Do you also need a lecture on how blogs work?

          Can you make a supreme effort and calculate what percentage of 2,938 posts 3 posts make? Just give it as try, OK? As a reward, I will tell you that you can leaf through the blog’s pages and discover that this is not even nearly the most popular thread.

          Like

      4. “You are such a classic case, it isn’t even funny.”

        But you said it was funny before. Are you so strung out you don’t even know what amuses you anymore?

        “I talk about the anal traumas of the child-free folks, and you find nothing better than to talk about bowel movements.”

        The word you want is “apropos”. Your blog is shit ergo that’s what you get.

        “So Julie was used as an example of attitude I find annoying.”

        Well, you’re an example of what attitude other people find annoying as well as bone fucking ignorant, so always keep in mind when you point a finger, three more point back at you (and in the case of your commenters calling you out for your misdeeds, it was a lot more than three.)

        “I hope I don’t have to retell all of my 2,938 posts to you.”

        Give it a go! Maybe it will keep you busy and out of trouble and prevent you from making a total dick out of yourself on the rest of the internet. Although I won’t be around for it since unlike you, I don’t think the rest of your blog is worth talking about.

        Like

        1. ““I hope I don’t have to retell all of my 2,938 posts to you.”

          Give it a go! Maybe it will keep you busy and out of trouble and prevent you from making a total dick out of yourself on the rest of the internet. Although I won’t be around for it since unlike you, I don’t think the rest of your blog is worth talking about.”

          -Yet, you left two more comments after this one. So how about that promise not to stick around?

          Like

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