I don’t like repeating the tired old platitudes that so often get dispensed as dating advice. This is why I’m trying to offer a somewhat novel approach to dating in this series of posts. How often have you heard the boring exhortation not to talk about politics and religion on the first date?
Well, in my opinion, this is crappy advice. If you are serious about wanting your dating to culminate in a success, one of the most important things you can do is avoid wasting time. A beginning dater often takes way too long to discover that a new acquaintance is an unsuitable prospect. Seasoned daters, however, perfect their technique of weeding out candidates who don’t suit them within just one or two meetings.
The greatest mistake newbie daters make is concentrating too much on making a good impression on their dates instead of using the first two or three crucial meetings to determine if the person they are trying so hard to impress is somebody they actually need in their lives.
I believe that it’s a good idea to make a list of deal-breakers that will make you lose all interest instantly in a person and discuss them as soon as possible. For example, I obviously could only be interested in a feminist. This is why I always brought up feminism on the very first date. An alternative would be to keep silent about my feminism for fear of scaring the date away only to discover much later that their dislike of feminist ideals make them completely unsuitable for me.
Trying to make a good impression is counter-productive for yet another reason. Believe me, the best way to make a horrible impression on people is to try hard to make a good impression. It makes you come off as fake, pathetic, and as somebody who tries too hard. These are not attractive qualities. If you are passionate about politics or religion, why not mention this as soon as possible in order to avoid possible disappointments after you get emotionally involved with the person?
Clarissa's Blog 
Hmmm… dating, s’mating. I met my partner on an Internet Hegel list. We spoke for several months on the phone. He left his job in the USA, came to Perth and we set up home. That was in December 2000. We have 23 years age difference, but this suits me very well, since my society and culture was time-locked, so we both effectively lived through the 50s as children, even though my cultural 1950s were the whole world’s actual 1970s. We both had rural backgrounds and ended up intellectual radicals. I think he’s very handsome and amusing.
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That’s a great story!
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All well and good if you’re in looking-for-long-term mode but if you just need a drunk hook-up with a total stranger then it’s better to lie like crazy.
“Not only am I stellar in bed I am literally stellar, as in I am an astronaut only I’m out of work because Obama.”
Guaranteed wild night to deeply regret later. Now if s/he wants to hang around for breakfast, then it’s time to get honest and admit that you are a crazy liar.
“Sorry for misleading you. I’m just a temp at a phone sex call center. Do you want some meth? I had to cut it with fiberglass insulation but once you get over the itching it does the trick.”
Then you’ll have the place all to yourself again and you won’t have to feed the trick. What am I saying? You can’t afford food! Have fun sobbing in the shower!
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That’s probably why I only had two significant relationships in my life. I go for quality, not quantity, and there’s no way I would have wasted my teen years (or any part of my life) on someone who made “You want to know a joke? Women’s rights!” cracks.
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Important question to ponder: can you have a productive and maybe even enjoyable argument with the person?
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