I keep getting asked whether men who say they like women with no makeup are to be trusted. So here is the answer.
Anybody who makes the following statements:
– I am attracted to women with / without makeup / in pants / in dresses / young / old, etc.;
– I am attracted to men who wear jeans / business suits / young / old / look like Brad Pitt, etc.
. . . is either extremely immature or represents a clinical case of unhealthy sexuality that needs to be avoided. Mature people feel attraction for specific individuals. The number of those individuals is immaterial and can vary widely. In any case, mature sexuality doesn’t get excited about concepts (women in skirts, rich men, young women, men who play a guitar). It gets aroused by concrete, existing people. (Brad Pitt doesn’t count unless you know him in person.)
Clarissa's Blog 
Thank you. I’m always annoyed when a man says they prefer a woman without makeup. I like my makeup, I like colors and I’m not wearing it for you, or because I’m “ugly” or “trying to hide” something. And I’m comfortable without it. But if I want to wear it? I’m not a lesser person for it. (yeah, I’m a little bitter, but I’ve heard this one so many times.)
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” I like my makeup, I like colors and I’m not wearing it for you, or because I’m “ugly” or “trying to hide” something. ”
-Exactly. This is an idea that many people don’t seem to be able to comprehend.
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There are still people who think they are ugly without makeup. I agree, though, that people are attracted to people, not concepts.
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Of course. But this is a completely separate issue that has to deal with one’s own insecurities.
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A matter of taking one’s preferences too far I’d say. I have my preferences about who I’m attracted to but they are by no means dealbreakers and certainly don’t mean that anyone that doesn’t fit in that range is automatically off my radar.
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There should be no famine in the world but…there is.
It should not make a difference weather I wear a suit or a pink tutu but… it does.
Once more I see a disconnect between what what should be (or what we’d like to have) and what is. Immature or not, dismissing/avoiding everyone who has such a preference and underlining that with the declaration that they shouldn’t do that is not very helpful other than to make oneself feel better after having been rejected for wearing black shoes or whatever.
The reality is, it comes down to what you can afford to reject. Some preferences/demands are unreasonable relative to how many people can live up to them and others are not. For example, basic hygiene is on my list of demands and I don’t feel unreasonable to have that demand. But earning a 6 digit salary is not on my demands list. Yet some people can afford to make such a demand – especially those who live up to their own demands. It’s still stupid but, whatever floats your boat.
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” Immature or not, dismissing/avoiding everyone who has such a preference and underlining that with the declaration that they shouldn’t do that i”
-You misunderstand what I said. People who formulate what attracts them in this kind of terms are completely oblivious to what sexual desire even is.
” But earning a 6 digit salary is not on my demands list. Yet some people can afford to make such a demand – especially those who live up to their own demands.”
-You are talking about prostitutes? Prostitutes are people whose mechanism of selecting desirable partners is hopelessly damaged. That’s exactly what I’m suggesting about anybody who gets “attracted” to concepts and not to real people. Powerful physical desire is so much stronger than all these social constructs of what lists of characteristics we supposedly prefer.
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That about hits the nail on the head!
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Darn…I play the guitar ;-D)>
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I agree with the post, attraction is about concrete instances of people, having a list of criteria to match is unhealthy and immature.
My wife of 24 years has never worn makeup but most of the women I was with previously did.
If I am attracted to somebody then the fact that they wear makeup is not going to hold me back.
However there are lot of practical advantages to a wife that doesn’t wear makeup :):):)
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Women who want to wear makeup should do so. But if someone needs to do it all the time, it sends me this message: “I am not good enough as I naturally am, so I have to fake it.”
I am not likely to be attracted to someone who feels that way. It has nothing to do with for whom the makeup is worn.
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Of course, you are right. I remember the story of this woman who shared how she was busily applying makeup right after giving birth to her baby because she was afraid her husband would see her without makeup and stop loving her. I say who needs this kind of husband to begin with?
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Re: being aroused by concepts – what’s wrong with that? Fetishes are lovely to have and I enjoy cultivating them. I feel that men who claim that about makeup are less declaring a tame fetish for undecorated faces than they are trying to be a Nice Guy. And as we all know, the problem with Nice Guys isn’t that they have things they’re into, it’s that they don’t get that the people with those attributes are -actually people-.
Furthermore, making blanket statements that equate how you experience desire with the true/mature/real way to experience desire is pretty narrow-minded. I know what it’s like to desire someone based on their personality – I also know what it’s like to get excited by a hot butch playing guitar. One isn’t better than the other, or more mature or real.
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” I also know what it’s like to get excited by a hot butch playing guitar”
-One specific hot butch or the general idea of them?
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Yes, a fetish is okay to have and actually a great way to let off steam. Just don’t confuse your fetish with reality. I used to have a fetish about men who boxed. That’s a really great fetish to have — just keep the actual geezers away from me.
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