I came to the library to get some books and now I can’t leave because it smells so good in here.

The smell of books is magical.

P.S. This post is not an excuse for Kindle-bashing. Movies don’t cancel out the theater, the Beatles did not make opera irrelevant, computers have not destroyed paper.

. . . I don’t work at a department where

– there are 10 part-timers per each tenured or tenure-track professor.

– the hierarchies are so strict that the part-timers and the tenure-line professors never meet and don’t even know each other’s names.

– foreign languages at the elementary and intermediate level are taught in a blended online format where students get to meet an actual instructor and talk in the language they are learning once a week. And in a group of 30.

– part-timers get paid $2,200 per course they teach.

– the administration closes down tenure lines on a regular basis.

– the tenure-line faculty members haven’t gotten a raise in four years.

– the university budget has been cut by 16%.

A colleague just visited such a department and came back feeling like our university is Paradise U.

Remember, fellow academics, you need to fight the erosion of tenure-lines and the substitution of professorships with adjunct positions every step of the way. Fight it like the future of academia depends on it.

Because it does.

Another great visual from V. I did it several times and no matter what I try, I end up a professor. I guess it was meant to be. Press Ctrl + if you need to see it better.

Here is an absolutely hilarious guide to how one should interpret scholarly papers. It was sent to me by V., a scholar and the most constant reader of my blog. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Reader Private Miss suggested that we discuss the differences between truly constructive criticism and manifestations of aggression that mask as such.

I have been thinking about this for a while and this is the definition of constructive criticism that I have arrived at. In order to be constructive, criticism has to be:

a) solicited. It’s one thing to ask a colleague to look at your writing and offer suggestions. It is a completely different thing to have the colleague approach you and say, “I have read your recent article and, let me tell you, there are so many problems with it. Here is a list I’ve made of what is wrong with the article.”

If you experience the need to offer people unsolicited criticism on a regular basis, then you definitely need to ask yourself what makes you have such high level of aggression. And, please, get off the “I’m just doing it for their good” mantra. People can figure out what is good for them on their own. Trying to improve people who haven’t asked you to do so is condescending and very aggressive.

b) What happens, though, if a person does something that bugs you but does not ask for feedback on their actions? In this case, in order to be constructive, criticism has to be about one’s own feelings instead of turning into a condemnation of the other person. Just appreciate the difference between the following scenarios:

“You keep forgetting to place a fresh toilet paper roll after the last one is finished. You are always so inconsiderate! It’s like you are not even living in this house. What am I, your servant?”

and

“You keep forgetting to place a fresh toilet paper roll after the last one is finished and it really bugs me. I then have to jump around with my pants down, hunting for a fresh one and that’s not very enjoyable. Please try to remember to place the fresh roll, OK?”

Constructive criticism is the kind that is genuinely aimed at improving the situation. And that cannot be achieved if the person who is criticized is put on the defensive and alienated. For instance, I could say to my neighbor:

“You keep throwing cigarette butts on my lawn. You are such a bad neighbor. Were you brought up in a forest or something? Did your parents not teach you any manners at all? If you are used to living in a pigsty, I’m not. Don’t you understand how rude you are being?”

These are very valid sentiments but do you really think they are conducive to making the neighbor listen to me? Now compare it to the following:

“You keep throwing cigarette butts on my lawn. And I really don’t like how this makes the lawn look. The butts become soggy and I hate having to touch them when I try to remove them. So if you could stop doing that, I’d really appreciate it. And, look, as a neighbor, I am probably doing things that bug you every once in a while. Feel free to tell me whenever that happens, OK?”

I can tell you from experience that the second approach really works while the first one really doesn’t.

c) expressed in a respectful way. I once submitted my writing to a professor who made many criticisms of my work. Every single one of those criticisms was fair. My writing was bad and it needed a lot of improvement. However, those criticisms were delivered in such an offensive and humiliating manner that I didn’t even manage to process the constructive aspect of them. I was so hurt that I couldn’t bring myself to look at the suggestions this professor made.

As every teacher knows, if you want your criticism to sink in, you have to observe a certain formula. First, you tell the student what it is that they are doing right, “You have a talent for organizing your ideas clearly and coherently. You also have many original insights.” Then, you transition into the criticism: “However, there is still a lot of room for improvement. Here is what I suggest you do. . .”

A constructive criticism never becomes a wholesale condemnation of a person criticized as a human being. Statements that begin with “Why do you always have to. . .” are not constructive. This is an especially pernicious strategy to adopt with your loved ones. People who are close to us are a lot more likely to see our criticism of their actions as a rejection of them as human beings and to be hurt by it. This is why whenever I want to express a criticism of, say, what my sister or N. do, I frame it the following way:

“Look, you know I adore you, right? You are the best person in the world and I will always love you and support you no matter what. You know this, don’t you? However, the thing X you did bothers me. Let’s talk about it because I want to better understand your reasons for doing it.”

d) if it isn’t welcome, it should not be reiterated. If a person chooses to disregard your criticism, that’s their right. You need to respect people enough to acknowledge their right to make their own choices. Nobody is obligated to live the way you want them to. And if their actions bug you so much that you just can’t let it go, then you always have the right to minimize your contact with this person or remove them from your life altogether.

Feel free to offer your insights into this subject and your criticisms of this post. I have now officially solicited said criticisms. 🙂

I knew that it was very possible that today I wouldn’t be able to maintain my resolution to work on my article every day. And then the universe began to conspire to make sure that I don’t do any research today.

I came to the office an hour and a half before class, hoping to do my writing the first thing in the morning. But then I discovered that I’d forgotten to create topics for oral presentations and it wasn’t like I was going to let students down.

Then, I decided to write during the break between classes. As soon as I opened my document, though, the Chair came and asked for my assistance. And it wasn’t like I could avoid doing what was asked of me because that’s part of my duties.

After I helped the Chair, I said down to write. But then a distraught student came in requesting help. And it wasn’t like I could turn the student away during my own office hours.

I couldn’t write after teaching because we had a committee meeting that went forever. And it wasn’t like I could let my colleagues down and not show up.

Then I came home and N. and I celebrated St. Valentine’s. It wasn’t like I could deprive a person of a long awaited celebration because I hadn’t managed to do any writing during the day.

After celebrating, we watched a movie that we’d been saving specifically for this occasion. (It’s the most unromantic movie you can imagine, but we are a weird couple.) And it wasn’t like I could tell N. to wait until next St. Valentine’s to watch it, right?

So after all these events, I found myself with not a single word added to my article at 11:25 pm.

I’m stubborn, though. If I said I would write every day until this article is finished, then that is what I will do. I made myself a cup of coffee and sat down to write. To be completely honest, I only managed to squeeze 53 minutes of writing out of myself, after which my brain shut down on me. But I made progress and I feel good about the two paragraphs that I added to the article in that time.

It wasn’t like I was going to let a festive occasion mess with my decision, right?

An anonymous reader left the following comment:

one’s love for oneself should always be central to one’s life

This is exactly what I am struggling with, I realise it on a rational level, but I can’t make myself believe in it, because it is completely against my cultural values and against how I was brought up. In my upbringing the main thing was to take care of others, never oneself (and if you did, that was considered completely and totally selfish).

So if at some point you feel like writing about how you came to this conclusion and how you started believing in it, that would be very much appreciated.

This is a very good question. I suggest that you start thinking of this issue in terms of what I call “the airplane strategy.” Do you know how flight attendants always say, “In case of an emergency, put on your own mask before helping anybody else”? The reason why you are told that is that in order to be useful to other people you first need to take care of yourself.

It’s great to want to take care of others but will you really be able to do much for the people you love if you are overworked, exhausted, and miserable? Wouldn’t the people in your life benefit a lot more from having you happy, content, full of energy and, well-rested?

Serafim Sarovsky, one of the greatest Christian thinkers that ever lived, said, “Save yourself and thousands will be saved around you.”

People say, “You keep insisting that one shouldn’t be influenced by what others say or think like it’s so easy but it isn’t.”

Of course, it isn’t easy and don’t I know that. I grew up in a culture that places the appearance of women under great scrutiny. It is also completely normal for people to make nasty comments even to complete strangers.

“Look at that fat cow in her horrible coat. Doesn’t she realize how stupid she looks?”

“I’m sorry where did you buy this jacket? Because it looks absolutely hideous on you. I’m just shocked that anybody could pay money for such an ugly piece of clothing.”

“Excuse me, you don’t know me but I can’t keep silent. I can see that you have a huge problem and I want to help. I have this really great diet that I want to recommend. Maybe it will help you.”

As a result of growing up in this environment, I often felt terrified to leave the house. I never felt that I looked flawless enough to show myself in public. Once, I spent three days, three whole days trying to get dressed to go to school and failing completely. If the outfit was good, the makeup didn’t match it. Or the shoes would not be ideal. Or the accessories.

And then I got fed up. I just heard this voice in my head, screaming, “Enough already!” The worry about what people might think or say was consuming my life to the point where I had no life of my own left. And it wasn’t just about appearance. It was about things I liked to do, my opinions, my tastes, my preferences. I decided to stop living this miserable passive voice life.

So I picked a ratty outfit (which would be considered quite fancy here in North America but was ratty for my appearance-obsessed compatriots), put on no makeup, grabbed a handbag that everybody ridiculed but that I loved and set out on a walk around the city. It wasn’t easy to show my imperfect face and body outside but I kept thinking that having people think I look stupid is a lot better than being stupid and castrating my existence for the sake of somebody’s opinions.

It took some effort but, eventually, I got to the point where I think that people who have negative opinions about my life, my choices, my appearance should just all go and stick a carrot up their noses. Because that’s the only thing they can do even to make me notice their sad existences.

And, you know, it feels great not to put oneself at the mercy of somebody else’s expectations. No matter who that somebody else is.