I consulted this great chart I found at Hattie’s web, and it suggested to me that I should be a Jehova’s witness:
All I know about Jehova’s Witnesses is that they distribute little books with creepy-looking kids, so that did not attract me. I decided to pretend that I was indifferent to bacon and the chart told me I should be a Muslim. Of course, I could give up hummus, too, and become a Jew, but life without both bacon and hummus looks bleak. So Islam it is for me.
In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.
Have you considered him who calls the judgment a lie?
That is the one who treats the orphan with harshness,
And does not urge (others) to feed the poor.
So woe to the praying ones,
Who are unmindful of their prayers,
Who do (good) to be seen,
And withhold the necessaries of life.
Can anybody disagree with these beautiful words?
Clarissa's Blog 
I was about to be a generic boring christian and then I realized Im a naturally, annoying person, sooooo, me and mitt are best friends. 🙂
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Holy shit, I very narrowly escaped Scientologist! And people say being broke sucks! 🙂
If I pretend I like the idea of worshipping anything, I end up a Wiccan or Hindu, depending on how loosely the black cat requirement is interpreted. (What if it’s an orange cat? What if I don’t have a black cat now but want one? What if I have multiple partly-black cats? Will Wicca fragment into various factions over this issue, resulting in centuries of holy war and persecution of heretics?)
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I have searched in vain for the source of this chart. Anyone know who did it?
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No idea. But thank you for providing it. It’s fun!
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The Hummus part is way off. During my visits to Israel it seems like they ate nothing but hummus.
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Ah, then Judaism is back into the running. Good to know. 🙂
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Haha mine went to Atheist awfully quick 😉 I guess if I earn more money I have the option of scientology. So there’s that.
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If I listen to my brain I am an atheist. If I indulge in my fantasy world I am a follower of the Mayan religion. Well… I have read pieces of the Chilam Balan.
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What if I want to worship the Dark Lord Satan?
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Yes, the chart discriminates against satanists. That’s not cool! 🙂
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