And the prize for the weirdest “parenting technique” of the month goes to the following:
There’s a parenting technique where people force their children to give to charity in an attempt to teach them the value of charity. For example, they might require the kid to put aside a certain portion of their allowance for charitable donations, or they might make a rule that the kid isn’t allowed to get presents at their birthday party and instead the guests should make a contribution to a charity.
Of course, there is always teaching by example. Giving up one’s own luxuries and gifts in a quiet and unassuming way, making sacrifices to help the needy, things like that. But who needs all that trouble when you can unburden your pent up aggression by persecuting a defenseless child while sighing hypocritically about how it’s all for a good cause?
This reminded me of the time when I was taking tango lessons and my teacher would stand next to me and yell, “Be sexy, Clarissa! I TOLD YOU TO BE SEXY RIGHT NOW!!!”
Being ordered to be sexy is as productive as being forced to be charitable, which is why I can’t dance tango worth a damn.
Clarissa's Blog 
The weirdest thing for me is that the teacher was shouting at *you* to be sexy. How was it supposed to be done? To smile more? Move closer to dancing partner? Raise legs higher? Don’t want to think what the teacher would yell at me. 🙂
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Smiling is not that sexy at all. Have you ever seen smiling tango dancers? 🙂
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Definitely agree on teaching by example and not by force, however, on the tango example I don’t think your teacher meant to force you to anything…, it was just a NLP cue for you to imagine yourself doing the steps like a pro would, in a way that all would think of you as sexy. Mostly having that picture in your mind and concentrating on it should help you perform better. But I guess it doesn’t work for everyone….
During weightlifting training when we try a max lift, our couch usually says “make it look easy…” and it works. I at least try to picture myself as an outsider, and see me performing perfectly and effortlessly, and then the weights seem lighter than if I’d only concentrated on the lift.
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This was so hilarious that I’ll never forget it. I can laugh but children who have no place to go and are forced to be “charitable” can’t laugh this off so easily.
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Oh dear. I never understood why a parent would foist that on a child. If the child comes up with it, that’s something else, and a lovely thing to see. I’m seen some of both; the second type is easy to spot because they get so excited about it, and it’s rarely ever just a birthday thing.
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I seem to recall hearing at some point that Ayn Rand’s mother forced her to do something similar. This being the case, apparently it doesn’t work.
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GOOD point. 🙂
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I never liked the idea of charity by force, which is why the words “It will look good on your college applications/resume” were poison to me when I was younger. I wanted to do activist-related stuff I was passionate about which really mattered to me. A lot of my classmates would stick to stuff which was safe and noncontroversial, like literacy programs, reading to the elderly, and activities through their church, but I was involved with Planned Parenthood, sex-worker rights programs, and sex education, which the others avoided like the plague. But I was happy, and I got a lot of scholarships by writing about and making speeches on how important these causes were to me, because I think my dedication really shone through.
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Reminds me of how George Lucas coaches his actors:
“Faster, more intense!”
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I definitely agree when you said that there are parents who FORCE their kids to give charity. It is best to teach the kids the art of generosity. However, they must be willing to do it. It is bets if it comes from their heart. Instead of forcing them, parents should try to encourage them. If they don’t like the idea the when we can’t do anything about it. In the end, it is still best to give with a grateful heart.
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