The only people who have a chance of creating an intensely happy relationship are those who enjoy living alone and dig being single. Those who are terrified of singlehood will, in all likelihood, end up in miserable relationships. Such people never manage to end unhappy relationships and can never move on because the fear of being single makes them cling to something that clearly doesn’t work.
“But what if there is nobody better out there?” is the pathetic motto of such people’s lives.
A person who digs being single has an answer to that, “Then I just go on being happily single. Yippee-doo!”
If a happily single person meets somebody s/he likes, s/he will find it easy to defend his or her interests and boundaries. The fear of “what if I say / do / choose whatever I want and get dumped for that?” is simply not there because there is no value in being in a relationship for the sake of it. Only a happy, fulfilling relationship that is good enough to convince the lover of singlehood to abandon the contented single existence will be acceptable.
Of course, if you cannot be happy living with just yourself, then how do you expect anybody else to be happy living with you?
Clarissa's Blog 
I fully endorse this comment. Only people who are happy being with themselves can ever make someone else happy. The rest are miserable sucks of unfulfilled and unfulfillable needs who will drain all their relationships dry.
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I should say “I fully endorse this post.” I don’t know where my brain is today. Possibly somewhere in the Caribbean.
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“The rest are miserable sucks of unfulfilled and unfulfillable needs who will drain all their relationships dry.”
– EXACTLY!!!! Which is my usual response to your comments. I need to program it into the system like a function of the blog. 🙂 🙂
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Just thought I would say that I agree with every single word in this entry. The number of people who can’t be single just astounds me. I have known people who just put up with terrible, soul-killing relationships just because they were so terrified of being single. And being single is fun! I love being in a relationship too and I wouldn’t trade my partner for anything in the world but I really loved my single life. It’s sad that couplehood is so ridiculously ingrained in to the culture that people feel unworthy when they are single. Anyway, now I’m rambling. 🙂 Just wanted to say: yes! And I agree!
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“And being single is fun! I love being in a relationship too and I wouldn’t trade my partner for anything in the world but I really loved my single life.”
– This is exactly how I feel, too.
This is turning into a complete agreement thread. 🙂
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Definitely agree with this. When I was single and looking around for a relationship, I could practically smell desperation and the “anyone as long as it’s a relationship” attitude on a potential date, and good lord, it’s a worse turn-off than bad breath, bad fashion sense, and poor hygiene.
A relationship, whether it’s a friendship or a romantic one, is never supposed to exist for the sake of itself. It’s supposed to be based upon something mutual, special and enjoyable, not because you can’t deal with the alternative.
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Fantastic points! I’ve definitely found that the sense of being comfortable with yourself is really more attractive. It’s only when I stop looking and just chill with myself that other people are ever actually interested in me. It’s because I’ve now shown that I’m able to be interested in me, that there’s something to be interested in. If I spend all of my time looking for someone to be with, then I’m not someone worth being with.
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To me it boils down to two things, which compliment each other. Being happily single and enjoying my life regardless of anyone else/my relationship status is rewarding. And, as Debbi says, the positive side-effect of that is that it (loving/being comfortable with yourself, just enjoying your life regardless of relationship status) is inherently attractive, leading to (we hope) more fulfilling relationships. So yeah, I love this post!
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Thank you, rosi5!
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