. . . and I’m terrified. No matter how long one has been teaching, the first day of class is always scary as hell. Bathrooms are full of pasty-faced terror-stricken faculty members because stomachs freak out when faced with the pressure of the first day of classes.
Every time before entering the classroom on the first day, I fear that I will stand in front of the students, open my mouth, and the teaching mode will not switch on. The teaching mode is a very curious state of being. It’s similar to being somewhat drunk because you experience this floating sense of ease that is unlike anything else. It always switches on for me whenever I see students but I’m also always terrified that today will be the day when it doesn’t come.
To calm myself down, I’m making a list of everything to look forward to this semester:
- My new course on Spanish culture that I designed and that I believe will be enormous fun.
- Supervising independent research for the very first time ever. I have 9 students who will be writing their research essays with me. This will involve a crazy amount of work but it will be fun.
- I’m going to a conference in November that I really look forward to.
- I will finish my manuscript and be done with the topic of Bildungsroman for good. Overall, I have very intense research activities planned for this academic year, which makes me joyful.
- My completely new research project will take off this semester, and I’m psyched about that.
- I will continue developing my second career as a translator.
- This will be my fourth year on the tenure track. This is a crucial year and also one of the most wonderful years in the life of any academic (more on that later.)
And now let the semester begin!
I wish my fellow academics and students a wonderful academic year.
Clarissa's Blog 
I do not really get into “teaching mode” until the second or third class. The first couple of classes are not wasted; I do discuss things, etc., but I am not at peak efficiency. My first classes this fall are on August 29, and I will be in full teaching mode by September 5, almost certainly.
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I just had my very first lecture and it went great. I opened my mouth, and this beautiful unaccented English came out of it. I never know on any given occasion what kind of spoken English I will produce, so this was a relief. I think this is the result of all that translation into English that I have done over the summer.
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Remember, students are like snakes: they’re more afraid of you then you are of them. 😉
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I love this comment. 🙂 🙂
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I’m afraid I’m going to step into the lab and just not be able to speak. Or that I’ll hold the lab manual in front of my face the whole time, and nobody will hear me. Or that someone will come to class without the manual, and I won’t know what to do. Or maybe I’ll mutilate the procedure for the first lab, which is impossible because it’s so easy to explain.
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The first time I had to teach in college, 2 burly male colleagues had to carry me to class. I was resisting wildly but they persevered. Now I’m happy they did.
I know you can do it!
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