Different Schools of Parenting

Published by

Clarissa

August 28, 2012

It hasn’t happened yet this year, but it will. It’s inevitable. One day, the call will come, and anyone who has ever sent a kid to school dreads it.

“Mom! I forgot my lunch!”

American parents never cease to amaze me. Believe me, I’m saying this with the kindest feelings possible towards them. I tried imagining giving that call to my mother when I was 10 (the age of the blogger’s younger child) and started beating my forehead against the keyboard in laughter. And then I imagined doing that at 15 (the age of the blogger’s older child) and the story stopped even being funny.

Yeah. . .

Who needs sci-fi when you can just scroll down your blogroll for stories from different planets?

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10 responses to “Different Schools of Parenting”

becomingcliche

August 28, 2012

Food is definitely my weak point. There are plenty of other times they get to suffer the consequences of their actions. One child was once taken to school in their underwear because they refused to get dressed. It never happened again. But being hungry is where I am a softie for sure!

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Kellen

August 28, 2012

I worked for a boss, briefly, would would drive stuff to her kid’s school even though she had a job. For example, child forgot graphing calculator for the first day of school – Mom drove all the way home to get it, then to the school to delivery it in time for calculus, even though the kid was not taking a test that day, probably not learning much at all since it was day one, or could have borrowed a friends. I think the mom just liked seeing to her child’s every need, even though that child was in 11th or 12th grade…

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1. bloggerclarissa
  
  August 28, 2012
  
  Yes, this is precisely why this happens: people want to feel needed. Turning the children into completely helpless beings seems like small enough price to pay. 😦
  
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Titfortat

August 28, 2012

I remember that call……………..the response………”Dont worry, you wont starve. See you later tonight.” 😉

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1. bloggerclarissa
  
  August 28, 2012
  
  Good for you (and especially your child)! How else can you instill personal responsibility?
  
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the twisted spinster

August 28, 2012

I guess that thing you linked to is supposed to be cute and humorous but I just stared at it. The phrase “the call every parent dreads” brings to mind disasters like death or illness, not “mom I forgot my lunch!”

In any case, it would never have occurred to me to call either parent if I’d forgotten my lunch. For one thing, they both worked miles away from our house, on opposite sides of the big city we lived in (Miami), and also after elementary school I was bused so I wasn’t exactly near either of their work places. Also we had just one car. Also I’d just eat at the school cafeteria or (when I was in high school) go to the 7-Eleven or the fast food place across the street. Or just wait until school was over and eat when I’d got home. But I don’t recall ever forgetting my lunch — I was very careful about my food. I’d forget my homework sooner than forget my lunch.

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Wirbelwind

August 28, 2012

Isn’t this called helicopter parenting ?
If your children forgot to take their lunches, then good for them, they will be hungry for about 4 hours. They won’t forget next time and it will be a good lesson for them.
I am kinda lame to quote this, but :
“It is the internal struggles, when fought and won on their own, that yield the strongest rewards. You stole that struggle from them, cheapened it. If you care for others, then dispense with pity and sacrifice and recognize the value in letting them fight their own battles. And when they triumph, they will be even stronger for the victory”

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1. bloggerclarissa
  
  August 28, 2012
  
  I don’t know who said this, but it’s a beautiful quote!
  
  This is precisely what helicopter parenting is. And then they wonder why the 35-year-old “kid” doesn’t move out of the Mommy’s and Daddy’s basement. But why do it when there is always Mommy serving lunch and tending to your every need?
  
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  1. Wirbelwind
    
    August 28, 2012
    
    It’s one thing to help your kid learn to do stuff or do stuff they can’t do; it’s another to effectively cripple them : every adult should know how to iron, do laundry, clean the house, cook at least simple meals… and it’s ok if your kid fails a bit while trying to learn : it’s bad when it’s a 25 years old that has to learn the hard way that he/she can’t even clean the house properly.
    (To “essential skills” I would add painting walls, simple repairs and basic understanding how electricity works).
    
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    1. bloggerclarissa
      
      August 28, 2012
      
      “it’s bad when it’s a 25 years old that has to learn the hard way that he/she can’t even clean the house properly.”
      
      – Oh God, don’t I know that? My sister was crippled by this upbringing on my part to the point where she would call me (at the age of 21!) to ask, “So what do people do with garbage?” or “Where are washers and dryers located in our building?” (The building where we’d lived for 5 years!!)
      
      This was completely my fault, of course. After I finally let her be, she became an extremely independent and self-sufficient adult. If only I had known sooner to step back and stop babying her!
      
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