Last night, N. brought me a huge bouquet of roses.
“What is the occasion?” I asked.
“Your last bouquet wilted,” he explained very seriously.
This is the only typically Russian trait that N. possesses. He has been raised to believe that a man’s duty is to ensure that his wife always has fresh flowers about her. In everything else, he is the opposite of the stereotypical Russian.
He is very non-violent to the point where he can’t watch any TV shows because they traumatize him. I once got him to watch half an episode of Law & Order: SVU, and the poor guy had nightmares for a week. He also doesn’t like talk shows because he suffers when people yell over each other.
He is more indifferent to alcohol than any other person I know except my father.
He does half of household chores happily and enthusiastically. “Why did you wash these dishes?” he says, looking offended and confused. “This is my job. You are scaring me when you turn into this Soviet woman who just has to do all of the housework.”
He is a passionate feminist who winces when I jokingly say that somebody is a “typical man / woman.” Then he gives me a lecture on why gender stereotyping is wrong.
He is very progressive and a lot more Liberal on the economic issues than I am.
He is extremely faithful, monogamous, and uxorious, which is unheard of in a Russian person.
He is very methodical and organized.
He is very good at saving money.
He is also very kind. He pretends to have forgotten the stories I told him three times already to give me a chance to tell them again.
And he doesn’t talk about the tortured and mysterious Russian soul. He doesn’t even believe it exists. He also tries to control the frequency with which he quotes Pushkin for which I am eternally grateful.
Clarissa's Blog 
Does he have a twin brother you can introduce me to? But seriously: how sweet.
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Thank you, Rose! No, he only has a younger sister. 🙂
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Gender stereotyping is wrong, but ethnic one is OK? 🙂 🙂
Seriously, what kind of a silly stereotypical image of Russians you have? Oops… Have pretty similar one myself. Which is kind of inconvenient… and finally resulted in me abandoning any attempts to identify myself with any particular nation.
(So it would not sound as an inside joke understandable only to Clarissa – I am a Russian-speaking citizen of Estonia. Cannot identify with either nation… Estonia is a lot like Quebec – you cannot really identify yourself as Quebecois if Quebec French is not your mother tongue, your family name does not sound French, and you do not believe in Quebec as a francophone national state…)
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I hear that English has been declared a foreign language in Quebec.
Today, a student asked me during the lecture on Catalan nationalism how I feel about the events in Quebec. I told her not to get me started because then we would never be able to leave the campus.
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Did you like getting the flowers?
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Of course. 🙂 Do you think I would have suffered in silence all these years? 🙂
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So um, my aspie brain fixated, but… “He is very non-violent to the point where he can’t watch any TV shows because they traumatize him. I once got him to watch half an episode of Law & Order: SVU, and the poor guy had nightmares for a week.”
That is precisely why I don’t watch most TV. (Well, that, and it’s a major time-suck, which I prefer to spend on the internet reading blogs of intelligent people as they discuss really interesting topics). But I can absolutely relate. I always thought it was an aspie thing for me – my brain can’t decode all the insane stimuli.
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Way to make us all jealous, Clarissa!
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It took me 31 years and many disastrous relationships to find him, though. 🙂
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I suppose that is fair. 🙂
I only have seven years of dating under my belt, so I guess I may have a ways to go… maybe.
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I have no doubt you will meet somebody at least almost as phenomenal as you.
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🙂
It’s hard to not be optimistic when there are wonderful stories like yours and N’s to encourage me.
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Russians and Americans:
Compare Barack Obama’s latest 2012 election ad which was introduced on October 25
with this ad
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I saw something similar in Spain, too. Sexism knows no borders and language barriers, as we can see.
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you made me cry
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