The last weeks of the semester are so overwhelming that I started talking to my work email.
“Ah, here you go again,” I say to it reproachfully whenever it starts beeping hysterically, announcing a fresh barrage of messages I need to answer. “This is just plain mean on your part.”
“Beep, beep,” the mailbox responds cheerfully.
“Seriously, buddy, just quit doing this,” I say. “I just spent two hours showering you with attention.”
“Beep, beep, beep,” the mailbox continues unapologetically.
“Please, just have mercy on me!” I beg. “I need at least an hour to myself.
The mailbox is quiet.
“Thank you for understanding,” I say.
“Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep!” it laughs, triumphant.
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