I’m blogging from the kitchen while having coffee and seething about an email I got from a student. A colleague who has had this student in her courses told me, “Ah, I can see Claudia is taking this course. Good luck getting her to submit the final essay. She is very resistant to writing and will invent endless excuses not to hand it in.”
The colleague proved to be right. Claudia sent me an email that was supposed to contain her essay but there was no file attached to it. When I pointed that out, she said that she didn’t know why that was happening. Then she said that she had left for Thanksgiving break and didn’t have her USB with her so she couldn’t submit the essay. Now she wrote me a long and weepy email saying that she misplaced her USB and is suffering because the essay took her such a long time to write and now it isn’t there any longer. I have a feeling she wants me to give her at least a partial grade for an essay she never wrote, let alone submitted.
I really hate it when people lie to me in such a blatant and disgusting way. This lying is also pretty pointless because the due date for the essay has long passed and everybody has received their graded essays several days ago. I have no idea why the student is wasting her time inventing these ridiculous stories. Doesn’t she realize that in a small department she has already acquired a reputation for doing these things?
The sad thing is that this student is quite bright. She is also a native speaker of Spanish who writes very well. She could have written a very good essay easily. It always astonishes me how much time and energy people invest into lying and inventing excuses instead of just doing the work.
P.S. OK, people, the plot thickens. While I was writing this post, Claudia sent me another email saying that she doesn’t have the essay but she has two pages of notes she took for the essay and asking if she could hand them in instead. This is just bizarre. I’m planning to ignore these emails because I’m not sure I could respond using polite language. Yes, Claudia, what a smart move to antagonize the professor shortly before the final exam.
Clarissa's Blog 
I am wondering why you are spending so much mental energy on this?.. No essay – no grade. Period. Who cares if she is lying or what exactly she is lying about?…
I just had an incident where student claimed he submitted something to me (on paper, so there is no electronic trace) by leaving it on my table, and I have not seen it. No assignment – no grade. In case I indeed lost it, which is highly improbable – I give you benefit of doubt : here is another assignment for you. You get a week to do it. Take it or leave it but nobody gets a grade for the assignment I have not seen.
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I get really phenomenal student evals. And this isn’t just my opinion. My personnel committee says they are incredible. And this is in spite of the mountain of readings, endless written assignments, and many Fs that I hand out. The reason why students dig me to this extent is precisely because I engage with them as human beings and not just nameless, faceless essay-submitting machines.
I see myself as not just a professor of Spanish lit but as a pedagogue. I love pedagogy, I wouldn’t want to teach without being a pedagogue to the students.
Also, I just reread my collection of works by Makarenko. 🙂
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I did not like your implicit assumptions… 🙂 I have other ways to treat students like humans. Pointless discussions about non-existing assignments are not one of them, though.
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I’m not answering her emails, of course. I don’t even know why she is writing them. So there are no discussions. But I perceive it as a personal failure that she is lying to me in such a blatant way at the end of the semester.
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And I’m not implying anything. I’m too tired to imply or assume. I want holidays!!!!! 🙂
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This kind of laziness and then lying about it makes me crazy. I really don’t understand why students do this crap.
I ran in to a student yesterday who was the only person in my senior class who didn’t turn in his assignment on Monday when it was due. I said, “Hey, did you have that assignment for me?” He said, “Oh, yeah. I didn’t forget about it. I just have been busy. I can get it to you today. How long are you going to be here?” I said 4:00. Did I get a paper from him? Nope. I’m guessing he’ll show up in class today with the paper. Too late. It’s 15% of his grade, and this is a required class that he’s on the verge of failing, and he’s planning on graduating in December? Whatever…
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It’s so sad to see them sabotage their own lives in this way.
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The student is lying to you. Her paper is late and not available. Give her an F. It will be the best service that you can provide. She requires a serious wake-up call.
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She already got a zero on this essay, so I don’t even know why she is creating this sham.
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I just don’t understand why students construct these elaborate stories. Since I value revision, I encourage students to revist their papers throught the semester and so paper deadlines are not “hard and fast” for me. And I am very clear to students that I’m flexible with paper deadlines. And STILL, I get these elaborate reasons why students couldn’t or didn’t submit things on time. It’s like they get a thrill out of constructing the story. Sometimes I just want to shout “PLEASE SPARE ME THE EXCUSES!! THEY ARE KILLING ME!!” I don’t ever do that of course. But I wonder why students don’t see how awful their excuses are!
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