Clarissa's Blog

An academic's opinions on feminism, politics, literature, philosophy, teaching, academia, and a lot more.

CIA Language Instructors

The CIA is hiring people with a BA in foreign languages or linguistics to work as language instructors. From the job announcement:

In addition to base salary of 60,648 – $74,958, language Instructors earn annual “bonus” pay ranging from $4,875 to $9,750, with the amount based on the language and their language proficiency. . .  Furthermore, new employees can qualify for a lump-sum hiring bonus for languages, up to a maximum amount of $35,000.

Not too shabby, eh?

Everything comes at a price, though:

Important Notice: Friends, family, individuals, or organizations may be interested to learn that you are an applicant for or an employee of the CIA. Their interest, however, may not be benign or in your best interest. You cannot control whom they would tell. We therefore ask you to exercise discretion and good judgment in disclosing your interest in a position with the Agency. You will receive further guidance on this topic as you proceed through your CIA employment processing.

Make $80K and become paranoid for life.


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14 thoughts on “CIA Language Instructors

  1. I’m am not interested to work for terrorists.


  2. They forgot to say that the applicants’ relatives and friends will have to answer questions to the CIA.


    • A friend of mine interviewed for a job as a translator with the Canadian secret service. And what a mistake! They terrorized all her colleagues, friends, and even distant acquaintances, they insisted on knowing about every sex partner she ever had, and every joint she ever smoked, they grilled her husband in the same way, to the point where the poor guy got really angry – and in the end they rejected her because her youth hadn’t been as moral as they would have wished.


  3. “An equal opportunity employer and a drug-free work force.”

    Bye bye your one shot of 0.5 gram of marijuana per week. But you can take 3 cartoons of cigarettes a day and be drunked every night!


  4. OH, SHE WAS A BISEXUAL: this would be a threat. But OUR homophobia is legitimate, ya know! We don’t want butch lesbians in our male-centric organization.

    Goddamned islamists and THEIR unlegitimate homophobia!


  5. And had fewer badly-needed linguists been discharged due to DADT, a substantial number of these requirements would be unnecessary.


  6. One of my college roommates applied for an intelligence position later on. I asked him not to use me as a reference / give up my name. But they had questions about him and they knew that apartment must have had a 3d person in it (it had 3 bedrooms) so they locked him in a room and would not let him out until he said who had lived in that room. Then he called me to apologize and warn me.

    Soon a G-man showed up in my office, to ask about this roommate. I was sure he was going to try to get me to confirm bisexuality — someone must have said this by now and it was true. But what they were concerned about was that he had gone on study abroad to Spain and France and then visited Spain again later. They found this highly suspicious, not the sign of the tastes a loyal American should have.


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