Male Beauty, Russian-Style

I’m watching a Russian match-making TV show while grading papers and peeing myself with laughter.

TV show host: Why did you love this man so much? Was he beautiful?

Woman: Yes, he was very beautiful.

TV show host: Tall, broad-shouldered, long-legged?

Woman: No, he wasn’t an alcoholic and he didn’t smoke or swear. That’s beautiful! And he was a very good person. He had minor imperfections, just like anybody.

TV show host: Like what?

Woman: When I was 7 months pregnant, he stole a ring of mine and gave it to his mistress. But he was a nice person.

TV show host: Isn’t it true that this nice person also stole the money you had been saving to buy an apartment?

Woman: Yes, but we had such a nice family, he was so good to me.

TV show host: And what about your second and third husbands? Were they as nice and beautiful?

Woman (completely seriously): No, they were even better.