I know I discussed this before but it never ceases to amaze me how shocked some readers are when I point out to them that initiating contact with strangers with a command is rude and offensive.
Time and again, some weird creature alights on the blog who thinks it is cute to say things like, “Start doing this” or “stop doing that” and then gets scandalized when I reveal to him/her that s/he is being rude and obnoxious.
So I’m wondering, are people not socialized in this aspect? I’m not noticing this much in real life, so I assumed everybody knew that dispensing commands to people as if they were your servants is unacceptable. Even if they are your servants, it is still better to find a more polite form of address.
Neither the Dean nor the Chair ever addressed me with a command even though they are my superiors at work. It is always, “Could you please do this, if you don’t mind.”
At the very least, people could use “please” with their commands. Or better yet, realize that neither their orders nor their unsolicited advice have a place in trying to establish contact with strangers.
Clarissa's Blog 
Maybe this is a neuro thing? For me (neuro-mundane) written expressions like “you should X” or “do X” in writing on the internet don’t register as ‘real’ commands (And when I write them I certainly don’t perceive them as commands I’m giving). They seem to me like semantically almost entirely empty figures of speech equivalent to “i think it would be a good idea for you to X” (maybe not that strong). They’re framing my opinion not expressing a desire to boss people around.
In speaking they would be very different and I would bristle at them being used with me (and would not use them myself I almost never use direct imperative forms in speech).
What about Russian? In Polish direct commands like “hand me that” or “Close the door” are actually more polite than roundabout expressions* like “do you suppose might be able to hand me that” or “do you think you could close the door please?” Is it similar or different in Russian?
*this according to distinguished semantician Anna Wierzbicka
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” They seem to me like semantically almost entirely empty figures of speech equivalent to “i think it would be a good idea for you to X””
– This is till very offensive. Imagine approaching a stranger in the street and telling them “i think it would be a good idea for you to X”.
“In speaking they would be very different and I would bristle at them being used with me ”
– That’s the thing, though. I don’t think that I have agreed to open myself to any disrespect that nobody would tolerate in person just because I happen to have a blog. Some people think that anonymity is a good reason to be nasty to complete strangers who are sitting peacefully on their blogs. But I know that if you let them take the smallest liberty, there will be no way of stopping their weirdness from growing.
“What about Russian? In Polish direct commands like “hand me that” or “Close the door” are actually more polite than roundabout expressions* like “do you suppose might be able to hand me that” or “do you think you could close the door please?” Is it similar or different in Russian?”
– We are a culture of extremely rude people. 🙂 This is one reason why I emigrated. People don’t use polite forms at all. I still remember how shocked my parents looked when my sister said at the dinner table, “Could you pass the bread, please?” and then responded to my “Here you are” with “Thank you.” To make things worse, I said, “You are welcome.” They thought we were trying to be funny. 🙂
And then when N and I got together, I was already more adapted to the English-speaking world, so I had to teach him long and hard to say “Hi” and even “How has your day been?” after coming home from school. Normally, he would just march in in complete silence. 🙂 🙂
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As a command to myself, I should be more careful about that.
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I only resent it when strangers do it. People I know are fine.
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I think this depends on context. But then, everything does. Is it OK for a bus driver to say to someone who just boarded “Step behind the white line.”
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Americans, who have discovered the hidden, esoteric laws of reality are keen to evangelize the news. They can’t help themselves. They are full with spirit….of it all. Thus one guy last night informed me in a way that may well have been pompous had I been able to personally observe him, “feminism goes against the law of evolutionary biology.” Stupidly is amply spread in the USA. Almost everyone has something of it. I couldn’t help asking whether he applied the law personally in some situations, whereupon he announced that he certainly did, “directly”.
This is so unbelievably funny. It made my night. Some guy is going to apply an impersonal law “directly”.
I want him to come back again so I can be assured he is applying the law of gravity correctly when he suddenly gets out of bed in the middle of the night.
I love yanks.
Luuurv them!
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“Thus one guy last night informed me in a way that may well have been pompous had I been able to personally observe him, “feminism goes against the law of evolutionary biology.” Stupidly is amply spread in the USA. Almost everyone has something of it. I couldn’t help asking whether he applied the law personally in some situations, whereupon he announced that he certainly did, “directly””
– And now it made my evening, too. 🙂 🙂 This is too funny. You see, even the congenitally stupid have their uses. 🙂
Thank you for sharing!
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6_cEVSj4XA
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