Clarissa’s Inspirational Messages

~ Clarissa

Reader el suggested I put a message saying “Before you knock on the door, or Clarissa’s Inspirational Messages to Worried Students” on the door of my office. I think this is a brilliant idea. Let’s see what I can put on the list.

How about:

I’m here to engage with your intellect, not your feelings. The phone of the mental health services is: xxx-xxxx.

Is this too harsh?

Another one:

You are not your grammar mistakes.

And the one that really matters to me:

The easiest way to antagonize the person inside this office is to tell her that you don’t like reading.

Any ideas?

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Published by Clarissa

55 thoughts on “Clarissa’s Inspirational Messages”

  1. The first one is too harsh! I hate to admit it but college was a very hard transition for me and learning to not allow my emotions to control my life really was a journey. And yes, it is caused by attachment parenting.
    My boyfriend throws all out tantrums from time to time – his mother is the most bossy, disrespectful, suffocating witch I’ve ever met.

    But take pity on us poor victims of attachment parenting!

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    1. I’m very sorry both of you have to go through this.

      I agree that the first statement might have been too harsh but I was really driven to distraction by a two-day-long correspondence with a student who was emoting all over the place.

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  2. The 1st sounds … unpleasant, antagonizing to me. When you ask why some students are afraid, I personally would be afraid after reading this message, even though I am not the person to talk of feelings, like some of your students.

    There is a way to put practically any message across with humor and/or in a positive, not insulting way. Now thinking on it. Something like: “I can help you with your intellectual problems. If you have feelings problems, those people will help you… ” No, “intellectual problems” sounds horrible too.

    I would or not put it up at all, or put only the second half: “If you feel you need mental support, the phone of the mental health services is: xxx-xxxx.” Still not good somehow, and I am pretty sure won’t help anyway.

    Unlike the 1st, the 2nd is positive and inspiring.

    The 3rd is pretty neutral, neither positive nor negative.

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    1. Now googled and found the correct terms:

      “I can help you with purely academic performance difficulties.
      If you have emotional problems, our university provides help at this number: XXX ”

      But, it still imo wouldn’t stop students from telling you how they feel. Besides, what about f.e. somebody, who honestly feels huge stress during final exams and otherwise demonstrates his knowledge to you? Before you said you let students submit late too and I thought you weren’t 100% “dry” grader. I do not mean by this giving undeserved grades,of course, but not being like professors, who “I know you know this, but during this task you were ill, so here is 100% dry grade”.

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      1. No, I’d never take into consideration any extraneous circumstances when grading actual performance. But in all fairness, nobody ever asked me to. If people want to do the test later, do it in my office, postpone it for any amount of time during the semester, that’s fine. But once the work is done, the standards are the same for anybody.

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  5. I like this saying:

    To conceal ignorance is to increase it. An honest confession of it, however, gives ground for the hope that it will diminish some day or the other. ~ Mahatma Gandhi

    Also, inspired by your recent post of a student arguing she heard some word used somewhere by somebody, how about a rule: “you must be able to support your claims about word meanings, etc (I don’t know which problematic claims they tend to make) with references to academic sources”.

    And another rule about e-mails, if you have a problem with them.

    RE the discussion about judging by results and not caring about the effort itself, I would put it too, don’t know how to word it best though. Has to be worded delicately to make students think of the message, instead of feeling antagonized.

    In Israel results vs “the way” discussion (about schools, not universities, I suppose) has been raised by the new minister of education:

    Though grades and academic excellence are important, he wrote in his Facebook post, they “can’t contradict the focus on educating toward values, building a complex personality that is capable of dealing with the challenges of the 21st century.”
    …
    Piron has called for the number of nationwide standardized tests to be reduced, but also emphasized that the other subjects would still be needed to graduate. Subjects like history and science are no less important than math, but could be graded by the teachers and not by the ministry, he suggested.

    http://www.timesofisrael.com/new-minister-brings-fresh-mindset-to-israeli-education/

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  6. The first two I would modify as follows to make them more neutral:

    “I’m here to engage with your intellect, not your feelings.”

    “You are not your grammar. whether it be always exactly right or frequently wrong.”

    The third opne is good as is.

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    1. ““I’m here to engage with your intellect, not your feelings.””

      Too harsh…just don’t talk about feellings.

      “You are not your grammar. whether it be always exactly right or frequently wrong”

      Good and more positive.

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      1. // just don’t talk about feellings.

        Agree. Neither feelings nor the phone of the mental health services.

        “I’m here to engage with your intellect” doesn’t sound aggressive, and is a positive statement in more than 1 way.

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  8. I’ll join the chorus: The first is _way_ too harsh. You might be able to do something with more humor: I’m here to sharpen your intellect; I don’t do feelings.

    I also temper my (extensive and disorienting) criticism with sincere praise for pretty much anything I like and it makes extensive re-writes go down a little eaier. That might not be you, though.

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    1. // I’m here to sharpen your intellect; I don’t do feelings.

      I perceive the second part as significantly aggressive, not humorous, while “I’m here to sharpen your intellect” sounds fine.

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      1. In that case I try upbeat inclusive language: “Okay, we’ve got some work to do here!” or “I can see we’ve got our work cut out for us” followed by concrete questions about the content/structure.

        “Upbeat” is definitely not my forte but it does help to keep them focused on improvement rather than obsessing on what they did wrong (ie everything).

        I also always repeat (and repeat, and repeat….) how little I enjoy(ed) having my work edited even when I know/knew it needed to be done.

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  11. “Before knocking on this door, please ask yourself one question:
    – Is my query intellectual in nature?

    Yes – please go ahead and knock.
    No – please go away and ring your mom.”

    *chortle*

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  13. Maybe something inspirational like “My critiques are to help you achieve your finest work”? Or one that I have more personal experience “When you ask for my advice, please take it and don’t push back. There is a reason why I’m the expert!”

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    1. Meh, maybe not the last one – I wouldn’t want to discourage the questioning of authority. Maybe “Do not fight my advice when you’re the one who asked for it”?

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    2. Ha ha ha!!! This is the best. The free North Dakota rules.

      This is what happens when people keep talking of some vague freedom without defining what the freedom is from. If we are talking about freedom from right, freedom from intelligence, freedom from normalcy, then, yeah, North Dakota is paradise.

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  17. Put the third one on big letters. Then we’ll bet on how long will it take until one of your students say the sentence!

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      1. Oh yes, it is very much about gender. Hattie always leaves passive-aggressive comments when she sees that I’m not mumbling meekly and passively and address people from a position of power.

        Believe me, I know all about the strategies women use to keep other women down.

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  22. You could have a statement embedded in your standard email signature, something like “I offer students rigorous feedback on their work, upholding the highest possible academic standards. La indulgencia mal entendida es la muerte de la inteligencia.” Use this particular signature for all interactions with students, so that it is not directed personally at any particular individual. You could also post this on your office door, and include it the syllabus. You can then refer students to this statement whenever a situation comes up where they are personally offended.

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    1. ” La indulgencia mal entendida es la muerte de la inteligencia.”

      -Beautiful!

      “Use this particular signature for all interactions with students, so that it is not directed personally at any particular individual. You could also post this on your office door, and include it the syllabus. ”

      – This is a brilliant idea.

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  23. “Too harsh”, “their feelings”, “unpleasant”, “antagonizing”, “need to be more upbeat”.

    I work in recruitment and constantly come across young people that are either incapable of taking any criticism or feel entitled to be coddled and led by their hand every step of the way. I cannot tell a recent grad that the hiring manager was unimpressed with the fact that she had not fully researched the company and prepared no questions, without dealing with self-defensiveness and hurt feelings. I often cannot tell a job seeker that his candidacy was not retained without getting an outburst of emotion and a tirade on everything that was wrong with the hiring manager (or sometimes me). Self-entitledness and conviction that everyone is responsible for their emotional state.

    Can university professors reflect the real life a bit? It’s ok to put whatever quotes you want on your door – you’re an adult and so are they. You are hanging it up on your door, not theirs. It’s ok to provide feedback when you deem necessary, and it’s ok to provide none if that’s your decision.

    Everyone needs to grow up at some point, so can it please start in university?

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    1. A private criticism after the act is different than a public criticism before the act. The vast majority of students aren’t interested to vent their feelings to a professor.

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    2. “I work in recruitment and constantly come across young people that are either incapable of taking any criticism or feel entitled to be coddled and led by their hand every step of the way.”

      – Of course, this approach doesn’t go away when one graduates. Who’s surprised?

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