Some people just never learn. After I decided that What to Expect When You Are Expecting was not for me, I didn’t touch it once. Yesterday, however, I wondered whether I had dismissed the book too fast and was missing something valuable because of avoiding it. So I opened the chapter “The Fifth Month” (which is where I am) to see whether the book had anything interesting to tell me. And this is the very first sentence of the chapter:
Week 18. At 5 1/2 inches long and about 5 ounces in weight (as much as that chicken breast you’re having for dinner, but a lot cuter), your baby is filling out nicely.
Thank dear God in heaven I hadn’t had a chicken breast for dinner or I would have served it right back up. Guess who will not be touching a chicken breast for at least a year.
Clarissa's Blog 
So they got Zimbabweans to write those calendar updates for them? Outsourcing has its advantages.
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Eww, the matey tone (and content) makes me feel quite queasy!
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Yeah they always compared the size of the baby to a food item. That particular description, though, is gross.
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The whole thing is gross, how dare they imagine people eat chicken breasts anyway — dry unhygienic things filled with antibiotics and hormones, only something a women’s magazine imagines it is polite for the prim, dieting mother to eat … while she sits at the table reading their book? Absolutely disgusting.
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“dry unhygienic things filled with antibiotics and hormones, only something a women’s magazine imagines it is polite for the prim, dieting mother to eat … while she sits at the table reading their book”
🙂 🙂 🙂
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Baby. It’s what’s for dinner!
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Baby, the dinner is on board! 😉
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When my twins were born at 25 weeks gestation, they weighed 600 gm or the same as a pound of butter. They also had hair over their entire bodies so they looked like little rodents but everything turned out in the end. Since both you and your husband are full time professional workers, have you thought about child care? Perhaps a nanny so you can start saving up for your teddy cam which seems to be a standard item these days. 🙂
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Yes, we will have a nanny until the baby is 1. After the age of 1, it is best to be in daycare.
And I don’t suffer from excessive anxieties. 🙂 🙂
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Some helicoptering parents in Québec… http://www.journaldemontreal.com/2013/04/14/lasse-redoutee-par-des-parents
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Merci! I just put this in a separate post because it’s too priceless.
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Haha, yes. This:
http://www.babycenter.com/slideshow-baby-size?slideNumber=23
is hilarious. We went through all the slides in one sitting and I had tears of laughter streaming down my face by the end. I think it is the odd specificity of the items. Not just a cucumber, but an *English hothouse* cucumber, and why are they all frui/veg except for week 13? After this, we took to calling our fetus “the rutabaga” for a while 😀
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Thank you! This was extremely entertaining. 🙂 🙂
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And 3yo, your primogeniture is more like a buffalo calf or a big turkey.
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