Funny Blog Searches

Here are some of the most curious searches that brought people to this blog in the past 30 days:

“where bad children come from?” – From bad parents, of course.

“is it rape if you don’t mean for it to be rape” – Since there is absolutely no way for anybody to access your intentions, then they don’t matter.

“why attachment parenting is disastrous for children” – Because it precludes them from developing individual identities that are separate from their parents in a timely and healthy manner.

“site:clarissasblog.com/ corporal punishment” – Beating people is a crime. What else is there to search for?

“questionnaire to repair sexual resentment” – You don’t need a questionnaire, you need a sexologist. Why people resist hiring specialists to help them deal with their issues is a mystery.

“blogs that are better than shakesville” – www.clarissasblog.com. Massively better, I promise.

“100 reason not to go to grad school clarissa” – There is just one reason you need not to go to grad school: “I don’t wanna.” Why would anybody need 100? Don’t want to go, then don’t go.

“feminists oral sex” – These terms are related in the same degree as “feminists pumpkins.” Some feminists like pumpkins, some don’t. Stop wasting your time, buddy.

“are feminists opposed to oral sex” – Jesus, give it a rest already. Some feminists like oral sex, some don’t. Move on.

“how to download english version of telenovelas” – Most telenovelas have not been translated into English. If you like them, why not learn Spanish? This will probably boost your career prospects, too. Think about it. Just don’t pay for scams like Rosetta Stone and other such crap. Find a native speaker to teach you.

“why it is wrong to give birth” – Don’t want to give birth, then simply don’t do it. What is the point of making all these dumb searches?

“is elective c section less traumatic than emergency” – Of course. Please buy a dictionary and start looking up meanings of simple words.

“dear god please make me a playboy bunny” – I’m not sure I’m a god, but if I am then OK, your wish is granted.

“in what ways do women surport patriarchy” – Bad spelling notwithstanding, this is a good question. Answer: in the exact same ways as men do. Make a list and you will see that it works for men and women equally well.

“social status professor” – Depends on where. In the US and Canada it is exceptionally high. The only other profession which  has as high a status that I have been able to find is that of a doctor.

“women forcing themselves on men sex” – It isn’t sex, it’s rape, you idiot.

“how to say househusband on cv” – Don’t say it at all. Nobody cares about your family life. Just put actual employment on the CV.

“why do job interviewers bully” – People who bully do it for one reason: they are sick sadists.

“why are russians so different” – From what, you bizarre person?

“do men think women/girls are less important then themselves” – Every psychologically healthy person thinks other people are less important. That’s life, buddy. But not to fear, there are crowds of manipulative masochists who will gladly put your needs ahead of theirs and then guilt-trip you for that for the rest of your life.

“madrid vs london moving to” – I’d definitely choose Madrid. It’s a lot less expensive, the real estate is actually accessible to normal people, the city is cleaner, the food is better, the air smells nicer, the public transportation is much cheaper.

“dona beija completa” – The best telenovela in the world!!! It’s Brazilian, so there are many naked people.

“what was so bad about the soviet union” – Everything.