I’m a Dirty Rotten Cheater

For the last five years, we’ve had a beautiful, fulfilling relationship. You tended to all of my needs, and I couldn’t begin to imagine ever wanting anybody else by my side. You were with me in good times and in bad. Oh, the many happy hours we spent together in bed! Oh, the many beautiful meals we shared! Oh, the joy and the tears you brought to my life!

Recently, however, you just stopped giving me as much as I need. You had so many issues that we stopped spending enough time together and eventually, almost against my will, I noticed somebody else. Somebody who could give me a lot more than you were willing to any longer. So I strayed and now I’m with somebody else. I still come back to you every once in a while, but it’s mostly out of a sense of guilt and nostalgia.

Of course, the moment you get your shit together and become as reliable and giving as you used to be, I will gladly dump your rival and come back to you, my dear Kindle Fire.

I still believe that the Kindle is the best invention of the decade. However, Amazon really dropped the ball with Kindle Fire. It has a very bad, unreliable charging port that goes out of commission very fast. Even after Kindle Fire 2 and Kindle Fire HD were released, this issue was not fixed. I have read hundreds of reviews, and crowds of people are experiencing the same issue with the charging port as I do. The battery is also pretty much the worst on the market, unlike the phenomenal Kindle 2 battery.

Things got to the point where I had to engage in the nightly ritual of trying to get the Kindle Fire to begin charging. I even had a name for the ritual.

“I need 20 minutes to go have sex with the Kindle,” I would explain to N. Initially I used a stronger expression to name this process but N. is disturbed by profanity.

I can’t begin to tell you how annoying it is to have this great technology right there in front of you that you can’t use because you dread the process of charging it.

So I finally gave in to my cravings for a more reliable gadget to handle my apps and crossed over to the dark side. And in the world of electronics, the dark side is, of course, Apple.

I now have an iPod Touch 5. Of course, I’ll never love it as much as I love my wounded Kindle Fire, but it’s pink and that’s a very redeeming quality.

18 thoughts on “I’m a Dirty Rotten Cheater

  1. Never trust a gadget in bed. Me, only paper will ever do. I’m strange that way. Besides, you can’t put a costly iPod under the pillow and def not read it in the bath with confidence..x


    1. I’ve been reading the Kindle in the bathtub for years and it’s doing well. 🙂 I also always made a little nest for it in my bed which drove my husband to ask whether I loved him as much as I loved the Kindle. 🙂


  2. Yeah books just quietly sit on a shelf with their backs to you and wait for you to return…or get carted off to the charity shop if they don’t cut the mustard 😉


  3. I don’t have a Kindle nor have I ever owned one, but I really like their Kindle for PC desktop program. It’s made buying books much cheaper for me in that I don’t have to pay for shipping or anything. I’m also an Amazon Prime customer so if I did have a Kindle, I’d be able to rent books and stuff.


  4. The dark force! love it hahaha. I’ve been fighting very hard not to switch into the iphone or any smartphone for that matter! I love finding people who refuse to jump into bandwagon. Don’t really think you fit that category but your comment made me laugh.


  5. In regards to the charging port, if it is like my Kindle Touch, you should be able to use any mini-USB cable to charge it. Mini-USBs are the standard for most smart phones now; you can pick up a replacement at any electronics store for around $10. After I realized this, I never had to buy another charger for my Kindle.


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