For the last five years, we’ve had a beautiful, fulfilling relationship. You tended to all of my needs, and I couldn’t begin to imagine ever wanting anybody else by my side. You were with me in good times and in bad. Oh, the many happy hours we spent together in bed! Oh, the many beautiful meals we shared! Oh, the joy and the tears you brought to my life!
Recently, however, you just stopped giving me as much as I need. You had so many issues that we stopped spending enough time together and eventually, almost against my will, I noticed somebody else. Somebody who could give me a lot more than you were willing to any longer. So I strayed and now I’m with somebody else. I still come back to you every once in a while, but it’s mostly out of a sense of guilt and nostalgia.
Of course, the moment you get your shit together and become as reliable and giving as you used to be, I will gladly dump your rival and come back to you, my dear Kindle Fire.
I still believe that the Kindle is the best invention of the decade. However, Amazon really dropped the ball with Kindle Fire. It has a very bad, unreliable charging port that goes out of commission very fast. Even after Kindle Fire 2 and Kindle Fire HD were released, this issue was not fixed. I have read hundreds of reviews, and crowds of people are experiencing the same issue with the charging port as I do. The battery is also pretty much the worst on the market, unlike the phenomenal Kindle 2 battery.
Things got to the point where I had to engage in the nightly ritual of trying to get the Kindle Fire to begin charging. I even had a name for the ritual.
“I need 20 minutes to go have sex with the Kindle,” I would explain to N. Initially I used a stronger expression to name this process but N. is disturbed by profanity.
I can’t begin to tell you how annoying it is to have this great technology right there in front of you that you can’t use because you dread the process of charging it.
So I finally gave in to my cravings for a more reliable gadget to handle my apps and crossed over to the dark side. And in the world of electronics, the dark side is, of course, Apple.
I now have an iPod Touch 5. Of course, I’ll never love it as much as I love my wounded Kindle Fire, but it’s pink and that’s a very redeeming quality.
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