One of my greatest fears was always that if I give birth to a baby I wouldn’t love it. And don’t say this isn’t possible. There are people I know very well who told me that they had no positive feelings for their children from day one (and into adulthood), and this became the greatest tragedy of their lives. Imagine what the experience of those children was. So, of course, I was worried.
Today, however, my fears were allayed. During the birth preparation class, we were taken to the neonatal unit to look at babies. We live in a small town, so there was only one baby, a tiny preemie named Lucas. We stared at him through the glass partition while he screamed his little head off.
I only saw him through the glass, but I already love this baby. If I could, I would totally take him home. Everybody in the group seemed to feel this way, too.
I should have just visited a neonatal unit a long time ago to figure all this out.
Clarissa's Blog 
I know at least one woman who felt nothing for her newborn until age 3 months. She then developed very strong feelings pretty quickly, when the baby began to look at her and smile.
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I am glad your fears were allayed. 🙂
But feeling this way about somebody else’s baby is not necessary to love your own children. Had you wanted to adopt, that would have been a positive sign, I suppose.
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I was afraid there wasn’t enough space in me to love anybody else. Autism means emotional space is very limited. For instance, to get attached to a new friend i need to drop somebody else to free up a position. But if there is enough for a completely random Lucas, I think shortage of space will not be an issue. 🙂
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